Too Many Years
by srp2017
Summary: Sequel to my "Years" storyline. Mike's family is growing up and moving on but all Mike can focus on is the son he lost.
1. Chapter 1

Sequel to my "Years." It will probably finish it out completely. I love reading the reviews but if you haven't read "Five Years Later" and "Years and Memories" this will probably confuse you.

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 1

It had been four years since Hannah had left for the Sudan with Sam. He was working with Doctors Without Borders and she was teaching children in the African bush. Calls, emails and letters were infrequent, and Mike missed Hannah. She had gotten her tests done to make sure her leukemia didn't relapse in Africa and so far, her doctor was thrilled with her tests, but she really needed to get home.

Matty and Max had graduated High School that year and Max was already at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center. Matty would start college that fall on a full-ride football scholarship. Gabby was thirteen and testing her parent's patience. Tommy and Rebecca were almost twelve and following in Gabby's footsteps. Charlotte was Mike and Polly's youngest. There were times that if it wasn't for her physical appearance, they wouldn't even remember her having Down's Syndrome.

Grace and Ryan were doing well. They were the parents of four now. Mikey was a very smart six-year-old and his Gampa's buddy, Hope was now four and loving her preschool program. Grace and Ryan had twins as well, Andrew and Christa, who were almost three. Ryan had gone through Police Academy and had hired on to the local Sheriff's Department when his dad, Alec retired. Grace still also worked for the Sheriff's Department since her good friend Kirk had been elected Sheriff after Alec's retirement. Mike and Polly helped them with babysitting due to Ryan's odd hours. Maggie and Alec were doing some traveling, since Polly was helping Maggie with the restaurant.

Mike and Polly were doing extremely well. Their marriage was strong. She was now associate Pastor at the church and managed Maggie's restaurant in her absence; with Grace's help. Mike was still enjoying his retirement, even though he was frequently approached for speaking engagements in regards to his experiences on the Nathan James.

It was Father's Day and Polly had planned a huge barbeque for Mike. All the kids, other than Hannah and Max would be there. Mike understood his kid's need to celebrate the day and he would enjoy them, but it made him miss the two kids that weren't there and Lucas. There were days that the grief was closer to the surface for Mike and Father's Day was one of them.

They all went to church as a family, and then separated ways until three when Grace and her family would come back to the house for the barbeque. It gave Mike a chance to spend some time on his own, grieving for his oldest son. Polly was cooking and preparing food and didn't seem to notice how forlorn her husband was. Mike was sitting on their bed, looking at pictures of Lucas, when Charlotte toddled in. Mike helped her onto their tall sleigh bed and pulled her close.

"You sad, Daddy?" Charlotte asked.

"I am. I miss your big brother." Mike admitted.

"Max?" Charlotte asked as she picked at her sundress.

"No, honey. I miss Max but I also miss your oldest brother, Lucas. He died several years before you were born." Mike explained.

"Oh. Mommy said she needs help with the grill." Charlotte said before jumping off the bed. It made Mike a little sad because his younger kids didn't seem to grasp who Lucas was. Since Hannah was gone, Grace was the only one who ever talked about him; and it was rare. Lucas' name being brought up brought sadness. Mike got up and followed Charlotte into the kitchen. Polly was fixing potato salad when he kissed the top of her head to get her attention.

"Mike, I can't get the grill to turn on. Matty said he would help me grill the meat, but we can't figure it out." Polly told him.

"Okay." Mike said. He was headed out to the back door where Matty was trying to figure the grill.

"Mike, you okay?" Polly asked before Mike got out of the house.

"Just missing my boy." Mike answered.

"Oh, Max said he would try and call home." Polly replied.

"Not that boy. Lucas. I really miss Lucas." Mike said before walking out onto the back porch. He missed Max and Hannah too but the sadness over Lucas was trumping that. He knew that Max and Hannah were safe. They were healthy and happy. Lucas was just gone. And being faced with Matty, who had looked so much like Lucas when he was younger wasn't easy. Mike imagined what Lucas might have looked like, sounded like, been like; and was faced with Matty. It caused Mike to resent Matty. Matty was alive and thriving and Lucas was not. Mike loved Matty and couldn't imagine his life without him; but he also wished he still had Lucas.

"Oh, thank God. Dad, I can't figure this thing out." Matty remarked.

"The ignition is a little hard to get. Here." Mike said as he started the grill. He'd had it since he had first moved into the farm and needed another one. He was a little on the cheap side, despite being wealthy. He preferred his money go to his kids or charities.

"This thing is ancient. Don't you think its time to get a new one?" Matty asked.

"Maybe. It would take away from your inheritance though." Mike joked but it fell flat.

"Buy yourself a new grill, Dad." Matty recommended.

"Money doesn't grow on trees, son. Alright, make sure you get the chicken cooked thoroughly." Mike remarked. For some reason, he just couldn't look at Matty. When he did, he saw all the things that Lucas would never be able to accomplish. Things Matty had done. Matty was a son that any father would be proud of. He graduated with a solid B average, was a star athlete, had only had one incident where he came home drunk, was a doting brother and a loving son. Mike walked back in the house and settled in his recliner. Polly had taken the plate of hamburgers, chicken, bratwursts and steaks out and walked back in.

"You upset with Matty for some reason?" Polly asked.

"No." Mike answered.

"He thinks you are. Mike, what is going on?" Polly questioned as she knelt next to his chair.

"Just…things are a bit closer to the surface." Mike hinted.

"Mike, I have not lost a child. You have but it is not Matty's fault. Do you wish that Lucas was here in his place?" Polly asked. Mike closed his eyes for a second. Thankfully, his other kids were occupied. Grace and her little family would be back in about a half hour. "Mike?" Polly asked again.

"There are times that I see Matty and all I can do is imagine what Lucas would be like." Mike admitted.

"And you, what? Resent him?" Polly questioned.

"Yeah. And before you say it, I know. Matty is a good kid and I am proud of him. I love him. I don't want to even imagine my life without him." Mike stated.

"I know that you love him. You light up when he's around. Course, you do with all the kids. I will just tell him that you are really missing Lucas. That okay?" Polly asked.

"Yeah. Tell him, I'm sorry too." Mike remarked.

"Mike never be sorry that you are grieving for a beloved son. That grief process will never end. Somedays, it will be worse then others. Just relax. Matty understands it better then you realize. He's a good kid. I won't tell him to avoid you, but I will explain. Now, Grace called. She'll be just a bit late. Christa has a skinned knee. Had to pick rocks out of it and Ryan is coming in his uniform. He's call-out car today since it's a holiday. Told her it would be fine. Max texted me, said to tell you that he will video call tonight at seven." Polly told him as she stood up.

"Alright." Mike agreed. Polly leaned down and gave him a kiss before walking back outside. Just as she disappeared out of view, the doorbell rang. Mike stood up and walked to the front door, not knowing who would be visiting, short of Alec and Maggie; but they were at the Grand Canyon. He opened the door and was shocked at who was on the other side. "Hannah?! How?" Mike asked before sweeping her into a huge hug.

"Well, we caught a bus to Capetown, flew to Miami, and then to Chicago, and then to St. Louis, and then to Springfield. We rented a car, and Sam dropped me off here. He wanted to go see Tom. Said he would show up later. Sorry it took us so long, Dad. There's so many people over there in need." Hannah stated as she pulled away but kept her arms around Mike.

"I missed you." Mike said.

"I did too. Uh…there is someone I want you to meet; Henry?" Hannah asked and a little boy, obviously from Africa appeared with a fistful of flowers. He was about Charlotte's age. "We adopted him after he was orphaned. His dad was killed by a rival tribe and his mother died from AIDS. And before you ask, yes. He has it too." Hannah told him flatly. Mike was stunned. He hadn't anticipating Hannah showing up with a child, let alone a sick child.

"Uh…Hannah, is that a good idea? How sick is he?" Mike asked. The little boy was looking around in wonder.

"Sam thinks with better medical advancements, he'll do better here but he will still only have a year or two." Hannah told him quietly.

"And you are willingly subjecting yourself to that hell? Losing a child you care about? Subjecting your entire family to it?" Mike asked.

"I…thought that you would understand. Sam and I want to give him a happy childhood, however long it might last. I…am just a bit shocked." Hannah stated. She was still standing in the doorway and Henry had a hold of her hand.

"Just…come in. You might as well eat. See everyone." Mike said as he let the two of them in. Henry still had ahold of Hannah's hand and the flowers that he had picked but he pointed at Mike and then handed him the flowers.

"For…Father's Day." Henry said. He didn't seem to know or understand that Mike had no interest in flowers and Mike knew it was a gift from the heart.

"Thank you, Henry." Mike said. He recognized the odd tension between him and Hannah but ignored it.

**I know Mike seems off for how I have had him throughout this storyline. The biggest point in this story will be his grief catching up with him, after several years. And I also know next to nothing about HIV/AIDS. Please bare that in mind. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Too Many Years**

**Chapter 2**

Despite his uneasy emotions; Mike thoroughly enjoyed his Father's Day barbeque. He had been presented with several gifts; including family pictures on Grace, her family and also of Hannah and her little family. He also received drawings, cards and several craft items from the younger kids. Matty had taken off shortly after dinner in Max's truck; not telling anyone where he was going. Mike was afraid that Matty was avoiding him out of fear of hurting Mike due to to reminders of Lucas.

Henry was an extremely sweet little boy and Mike really enjoyed him. There was still an air of tension where Hannah was concerned, and Mike was afraid he might have completely damaged his relationship with her. Before she had left for Sudan, she and Mike had an extremely close relationship, but something was off. She had also opted to stay at Tom and Sasha's, which was odd. Normally, she would have begged to stay at Mike and Polly's.

Ryan got a call-out and Mike helped Grace get the kids settled in her SUV. Thankfully, his relationship with her had grown and matured. They were closer then they had ever been. The anger and resentment had disappeared years before, and in its place, mutual respect took place. Mike respected Grace's ability to persevere. Grace was a busy mother of four, so she and Mike rarely got one-on-one time; but every now and then, Mike snuck into her office with coffee and donuts to share. He tried to do it at least once a month, and Kirk always looked the other way.

At seven on the dot; Max called and spoke with Mike at length. He was excelling and looking forward to his first deployment. Mike and especially Polly was not, but they had known since Max was about twelve that he wanted to join the Navy. Mike had prepared him and some of his other friends had also spoken with him. Mike had been off the phone with him and was rocking Charlotte to sleep in his recliner when Matty stuck his head in from the back deck. Mike hadn't even heard him pull in. Hannah and Henry had left after she spoke with Max on the phone, not giving Mike another hug, and the younger kids were getting ready for bed.

"Dad, can you come out here for a second, please?" Matty asked. Mike stood up and walked out to the back porch, carrying Charlotte on his hip. She was nearly asleep and would wake up if he sat her down.

"What?" Mike asked. Facing Matty was still hard. Mike adored him but Matty was the reminder of everything Lucas would never be. He knew that he needed to appreciate the son that he had. It was just like he couldn't get his mind off of Lucas.

"I had my graduation money and some money I had saved. I was going to buy loud pipes for my car, but I decided to buy this instead. Now, it is not the top of the line grill, but the sales guy said that it gets good reviews and…" Matty continued but Mike held his hand up.

"Matty, I am completely capable of buying a grill. I didn't need you to do that for me. You can't just go spending your money on nonsense." Mike said as he walked back in the house. He didn't even bother to look back, heading into Charlotte's bedroom to tuck her in. He concentrated on her until Polly came into the bedroom and closed the door.

"What just happened?" Polly asked.

"Huh?" Mike asked, dumbly.

"With Matty? Come on, she's asleep." Polly said as she bent down and kissed their youngest daughter. They closed the door behind them and walked into their bedroom. Matty's bedroom door was closed, indicating that he was inside. "What happened with that grill, Mike?" Polly asked again.

"I…okay, you're mad. I had told him earlier that money didn't grow on trees when he suggested I buy a new grill, so he goes out and spends his money on that grill." Mike explained, it made perfect sense to him.

"It was a Father's Day gift, but I honestly think, even if it wasn't Father's Day; Matty would have still gotten it for you because he loves you. Mike, I get it. Today is a bad day. You miss Lucas and you are hurting. Matty reminds you of Lucas but Lucas dying is not his fault. He already has one death on his conscious. He doesn't need Lucas' death too. The genetics are not his fault. That is a flip of the coin. Just like Tommy having my brown eyes and Rebecca having your blue eyes. Matty, Hannah and Grace all look alike, and from the pictures of Lucas, he looked like them too." Polly lectured. Mike sat down on his bed and took his shoes off.

"I'll talk to him." Mike stated.

"No. Not tonight. Matty is really hurt. I know, you think he needs to man up, but this stung, Mike. Deeply. He asked me if I thought it would be better for you if he moved into Maggie's apartment. The thing is, I didn't have an answer for him. I am afraid that if you keep up at this rate, you will destroy Matty because you would prefer Lucas be alive and what, Matty to be dead?" Polly asked. Mike just shut his eyes in response.

"I…don't wish that Matty was dead. I love my son. You know that." Mike finally answered. Polly sat down next to him and squeezed his hand.

"Mike, I don't doubt that you love Matty. Like I said earlier, you light up when he's around. I'm going to go out and check on him, lock up and shut the lights off. Get ready for bed. I want you to think about him moving out. He's eighteen and doesn't need your permission but he…needs to know that if he does, you won't stop loving him or being his dad. I figure he will expect an answer in the morning. I love you but I am not doing this for you." Polly told him as she stood up. She bent back over and kissed his forehead and then walked out.

Mike got up, took a quick shower and put his pajama pants. As he was taking his watch off and plugging his cellphone in; he focused on a picture of him and Matty. It had been taken on a fishing and camping trip that he had taken with Matty, Max and Tommy. Mike had enjoyed it, but it had reminded him, Lucas should have been along with them.

He knew he was a lucky man. He had a beautiful family. His children were successful, well-adjusted and happy. His wife was amazing and he had beautiful grandchildren. Instead, he was focusing on the son that was no longer there and the fact that his daughter was subjecting herself to the same loss that he had experienced.

He climbed into bed, knowing sleep was not going to happen. About ten minutes later, Polly crawled in next to him and read her Bible, as was her habit but even she seemed restless. She finally sit it on the nightstand, shut her light off and laid her head on his chest, just like she did every night. She grasped his hand and leaned up and kissed him.

"Just remember, Mike, he is Matty and he loves you and he needs you; and you need him. I know how deeply that you love him. I have faith that you will see Lucas at some point. My selfish hope is that it's a long time in the future. You can't bring him back and hurting Matty will get you nowhere." Polly said as she stroked his cheek.

"I know and no plans of going anywhere for many years. You're stuck with me. I have no idea what I am going to say to Matty, but I will make it clear to him that I love him." Mike said as he rubbed her back.

"And talk to Hannah. I think she's jetlagged and doesn't understand what you were trying to say. I get it. You are trying to protect her from a pain that you have dealt with so many years." Polly ordered.

"Yes, ma'am. I love you." Mike said before giving her another, more passionate kiss. His hand was wondering under her nightshirt, until she stopped him.

"Sleep, Mike. I love you, too." Polly said as she gave him another kiss. Within a few minutes, she was sound asleep. It took Mike a lot longer to fall asleep, and it wasn't a sound sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 3

Mike didn't sleep well at all. He finally got up about six and started breakfast for his family. He liked them having a hot meal before they started their day and even though it was summertime and they weren't as rushed; the time eating together as a family was treasured time for Mike.

He still didn't know what he was going to say to Matty. He knew that he was going to face him and apologize for his behavior. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the new grill and he knew it was a gift from the heart. Matty was a good kid with a big heart. It was an attribute that Mike loved about him. His kids were all better versions of himself. He often joked they took after their mothers, not him.

He also needed to talk to Hannah and explain his comments to her. It wasn't that he was against Henry. He also understood why Hannah and Sam would want to adopt him. It was the willingly subjecting themselves to losing a child that they cared about that he didn't understand. Hannah had watched him grieve for Lucas for years, why would she do that to herself and Sam?

Mike made Matty's favorite breakfast, pancakes and sausage as a way to mend fences. He knew that he didn't want Matty to move out and had planned on enjoying his last few months with him before Matty went to college. Mike was not going to stop missing Lucas and in a lot of ways, seeing Matty thriving made Lucas's death that much harder to deal with. Matty was able to do all the things that Lucas had never done.

Finally, about eight, his family began coming out of their rooms. Polly wasn't due into work until ten, so her Monday mornings were a bit lazy. Matty came out, fully dressed and apparently ready to start his day. Mike could see the pain in his eyes, and it hurt Mike, knowing he had caused it. The kids all ate and went on their way to start their day. Gabby, Tommy, Rebecca and Charlotte went outside to play, and Polly went to work, leaving Mike alone with Matty. Mike sat down next to him at the table and started to talk but Matty had other ideas.

"Dad…I hate that…I've caused you any pain. I can't help my resemblance to Lucas or that I remind you of all the things that he didn't get to do. I don't really know what to do about this, so I have decided I want to move out. Aunt Maggie said I could move into her apartment and work off my rent working at the restaurant. I know Hannah is planning on finding a house so that Henry has a yard to play in. I just hope…that I can still come out and visit. I will miss you all too much." Matty told him.

"Son, I'm…sorry. I can't tell you not to move out. You're an adult now. What I will say is, I love you. It is hard at times, but I have to remind myself that it isn't your fault. If you do decide to move out, you will always have a place here. I really don't know what else to say." Mike said calmly, even though his heart was broken.

"I love you too, Dad. I guess I just want you to tell me to stay. I know that losing Lucas affected you and I am truly sorry. If I could trade places, I would. I was not planned for and I caused a death just by being born. I know every time you look at me, you see that. You had to trade a wife and a son that you knew and loved in for me and a part of you will always resent that. I wish that I could fix that. I do want to not tell the girls why I'm moving out. I am afraid that Grace and Hannah will get upset with you. I don't want that. I will just tell them that I decided that I needed some independence before I went to college and Aunt Maggie was wanting someone to live on-site to help with deliveries and such." Matty said. Mike rubbed his face and tried to come up with the proper words. The problem being, there was some truth to what Matty had said.

"Matty, I don't blame you for their deaths and I really wish that you wouldn't. Yes, I miss your mom and Lucas but if they had lived, I wouldn't have what I have now. I wouldn't want to imagine my life without you in it. Without them in it." Mike said as he pointed out to the backyard where the younger kids were playing. "If it is me asking you to stay that you want, you have it. That's what I want to. I…it's been a lot of years since your brother died; and I don't know where this grief is coming from. It doesn't make a lot of sense." Mike finished as he drank his cup of coffee. He had never felt comfortable sharing his grief with his kids. It was too colossal to put on their shoulders and they didn't need the burden. Besides, Matty had enough grief of his own to deal with.

"I don't know anything about losing a kid, Dad and I don't particularly want to. I would say that it isn't just going to go away. I never knew Lucas either, but think about what he would want. I don't think that he would want you to hurt like this. I also know, Hannah is a little upset with you. I think she was tired and that is why she took what you said to heart. I get it, you are trying to protect her from the hurt that you've felt all these years, but she and Sam adopted Henry knowing what was going to happen. And yeah, it will hurt the rest of us because I, personally, will still get attached to that little boy. From what I saw yesterday, he is an amazing little boy. Don't rob yourself of him because you are scared to lose him. Also, if you do that; you might lose Hannah too." Matty said. Mike was shocked at the wisdom that seemed to be oozing out of his eighteen-year-old son.

"Point made. You sound like your mom." Mike remarked. It was exactly like what Christine would have said.

"Maybe, I don't know. So, I hope all that is settled? I really didn't want to move out." Matty asked.

"I want you to stay." Mike said as he stood up. He was still really missing Lucas, but he couldn't cause it to resent Matty.

"I want to stay." Matty told him as he also stood up. Matty pulled Mike into a hug and they stood like that for a couple moments before Mike pulled away. He had to go to Tom and Sasha's now.

"Could you watch the kids? I need to go talk to Hannah. And son, thank you for the grill. I do appreciate it." Mike asked.

"Yeah, go ahead. It was truly just a gift. I know you spend money on you last." Matty said.

"I know and I do appreciate it. I'll be next door if you need anything." Mike said as he grabbed his ball cap, cellphone and keys.

"Take your time." Matty stated as he headed for the back door.

"Thanks, son." Mike said before walking out the other door. He actually felt a lot better since talking to Matty. Like Hannah, he could be a therapist. When he pulled into Tom and Sasha's, he was relieved to see that the older couple was gone, and Hannah was out front picking flowers with Henry. Mike got out and smiled down at her. She looked completely rested and happier.

"Wasn't expecting to see you here?" Hannah asked.

"Wanted to talk. Where's everyone?" Mike asked.

"Tom and Sasha had to go to Springfield and Sam is meeting with Dr. Lafferty about a position at his clinic." Hannah explained.

"So, you guys are staying on here?" Mike asked.

"That's the plan. We also have a call into a realtor to find a house." Hannah told him. He sat down next to her on the bench and they watched Henry for a moment.

"That'll be nice. So, about what I said yesterday; I am sorry, Hannah. Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was missing Lucas bad and the last thing I want if for one of my kids to experience that pain. I just presented that in the worst possible way. Someone asked me once that if I had known how it was going to turn out with Lucas when he was born, would I have loved him any less, would be any less attached. The answer is; I would do nothing different. You and Sam went into this with eyes wide open and I have to respect what you are doing. I can tell that you love Henry and want to give him a good life, no matter how long it lasts. I will contribute to that and when whatever happens, I will be here for you and Sam." Mike told Hannah as he watched Henry playing.

"I took it wrong too. I was tired. It had been long flights and layovers with a four-year-old that has a language barrier. Of course, there are also things that we have to watch for where he's concerned too." Hannah explained.

"Did you get your rest out?" Mike asked.

"I did. Slept from about eight o'clock last night until about six this morning. Fortunately, Henry was also a bit jet-lagged too and allowed for it. I do have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Grant." Hannah stated, speaking of her oncologist.

"Any problems?" Mike asked.

"No. He is less then thrilled that the year-long trip become four years and wants to do some thorough testing just to make sure." Hannah explained.

"He wasn't the only one." Mike remarked.

"Dad, the poverty there…it's horrible. We both felt compelled to stay. Sam had patients and I had students. That was a third-world country before the Red Flu and that set it back another hundred years. They didn't have infrastructure to begin with and even less now." Hannah told him.

"I know. So, will you back…after?" Mike asked, gesturing at Henry.

"I don't know. Probably not as permanently. Sam wants to stay here, and I agree with him. We've traveled all over Africa and the Middle-East. Seen things. There is something to be said for the safety and security of home. Family. Henry needs this." Hannah stated.

"I agree. You okay?" Mike asked.

"I think so. Mom suggested that Sam and I both talk to Pastor John. She's too close. I think we will probably do that." Hannah told him.

"Good idea. Polly is my sounding board, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone." Mike agreed.

"Yep. Henry, come here?" Hannah said as she gestured at the little boy who carried a handful of flowers and weeds. Tom would not be thrilled with the little boy picking flowers out of his carefully tended yard.

"Here!" Henry said as he climbed up between Mike and Hannah and handed Hannah his flowers. The little guy was beyond sweet.

"Thanks, Henry. Remember Gampa?" Hannah asked. Mike had never shed his weird nickname that Mikey had gifted him with when he couldn't pronounce Grandpa and Polly was still Gamma.

"Gampa!" Henry said as he gave Mike a hug.

"That's me. Maybe tomorrow, you can come and play with your Aunt Charlotte?" Mike asked.

"Yeah!" Henry said as he threw his arms up. Mike looked to Hannah who nodded at him. She would need a babysitter anyway, since Sam would be going with her to see Dr. Grant.

"It's a date." Mike said as he stood up. He needed to get back to his own younger kids to relieve Matty.

"My appointment is at ten, so we can bring him by about eight-thirty?" Hannah asked.

"Yep." Mike agreed and then bent down and kissed Hannah's forehead. "It is really good to have you home. I've missed you a lot. Love you." Mike said.

"I love you too." Hannah stated.

"Love you!" Henry said to no one in particular.

"Love you too, Henry." Mike said before he headed back to his own truck. As he pulled away, he glimpsed at Hannah cuddling with Henry on the bench. While he was less then thrilled with her losing him, he understood it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 4

Mike ended up having his own kids, Mikey, Hope and the twins in addition to Henry the next day. He was thankful that Matty was there to help him. He had had day planned with his girlfriend, Tara but had cancelled without Mike asking to help him. Gabby was a typical young teenager who rarely wanted to be in the same room with her parents, let alone help them.

It was also raining out so Mike couldn't let the kids outside to play. By the time that Polly got home at three, he was relieved to see her. Matty had been a great help, especially with Charlotte, Henry, Andrew and Christa. Mike had kept Mikey and Hope occupied and his twins and Gabby stayed in their rooms, away from Mike and their 'annoying brother.' As soon as Polly walked in, Mike let out a big breath of relief.

"Oh, thank God." Mike said.

"Was it that bad?" Polly asked as she set her purse down and hugged Christa, who loved her Gamma.

"Gabby is mad at me. I don't know why. I think I breathed or something." Mike complained.

"She's almost fourteen. It's a weird age but she loves you, Mike." Polly chastised.

"Somedays I wonder and she's leading by example because Rebecca won't have anything to do with me either." Mike continued complaining. He was still a bit emotional from the day before and Matty had the younger kids occupied in the living room. Polly was sorting through the mail and smiled over at him when he sat down on one of the kitchen stools. She came around and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll talk to them. Just handle them with a bit of grace. The hormones will even out. They are twelve and almost fourteen and they have strict parents who won't let them be heathens. It'll get better. It got better with the older kids, correct?" Polly asked him quietly.

"Grace was fourteen when I went to the Arctic and before, I was gone so much that I never noticed a mood. When I got back and Hannah was fourteen, initially it was rough; but it got better. Matty and Max are boys and weren't quite this bad." Mike admitted.

"Given but they have all had their moments. Have you talked to Hannah?" Polly asked. She had remained in his arms and was hugging him.

"Yeah. Her appointment went well. I don't know any details, but Doctor Grant was happy with her labs. I told them to take some time to their selves. She and Sam are meeting with a realtor and looking at a couple houses." Mike explained.

"Good dad. Are we helping them?" Polly asked.

"Just don't tell Gabby. She reminded me that I am not her dad. Anyway, if they ask or seem like they are struggling, yes; if you are okay with it. Hannah told me they had quite a bit in savings." Mike told her. The housing market had not fully recovered since the Red Flu, even though it had been years since the cure was brought home. A person could get a nice house for dirt cheap. There were still more houses and property then needed for the population.

"Okay. She told you that?" Polly asked.

"Yep." Mike said as he stood up and gave Polly a kiss before walking around the kitchen island and checking on the roast in the oven.

"I warned her not to do that. Okay, I am going to go talk to her." Polly said before disappearing into the bedroom wing of their house. Mike was curious as to what his wife was up to but concentrated on the kids playing in a blanket fort in the living room. Despite having a bit of a language barrier with Henry, they had accepted them into their little group and Matty was just a big kid. They all loved him.

Polly stepped into Gabby's bedroom and was immediately upset because of how much of a mess it was. Rebecca was reading on her bed, but Gabby was sitting on her bed, glued to her cellphone. Polly came up behind her and grabbed it out of her hand.

"MOM! That's mine!" Gabby said as she made a grab for the phone.

"No. It's a phone that your dad and I bought for you and pay the bill on, with the understanding that you will keep this room clean, do your chores and help with the smaller kids. Until you can achieve those things, in good cheer, this is staying in my drawer. Now, Rebecca; can you please go in the kitchen and help Dad with supper? Gabby and I need to have a conversation that won't be fun to witness." Polly asked Rebecca, who nodded. She was out of the bedroom like a shot. All the kids were fearful of Polly's temper, more so even then Mike's.

"That's not fair." Gabby said as Polly sit down on Rebecca's bed. At least it was made and the book that she had been reading was on Polly's approved reading list.

"Life isn't. Gabby, your dad has had a rough couple day. He misses your brother. His emotions are closer to the surface. I have warned you about the 'you're not my real dad' thing in the past. Your dad has been in your life since you were six months old. He has adopted you, supported you, raised you and loved you. He doesn't regret that, no matter how terrible you are to him. Sweetie, your dad is getting older and has been through a lot. You have to understand, he may not be around forever. So, no, biologically speaking, he isn't your dad but that never mattered to him. Why should it matter to you? You have gotten the best end of the deal. Now, I want you to sit down and write a note to your dad, apologizing for your behavior. An 'I love you' is also requested. I will read the note before it given to your dad. You will also clean this room. Rebecca's side isn't bad and what is on her side, is your stuff. You will clean it all. You have also lost your phone for a month and at the end of that month, I will evaluate if you get it back. Tomorrow and from now on, you will help your dad with the kids. I would guess we'll have Grace's and possibly Henry as well. Your dad needs some help occupying them and Matty had to cancel his day with Tara to help him. That won't be happening again. Clear?" Polly asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Gabby said.

"That better not be lip service. You have done that before." Polly stated as she stood up.

"Its not." Gabby said.

"Have that note written by dinner and bring it to me." Polly said before she left the bedroom. Polly typically handled the tough love part of parenting her and Mike's kids. Mike was admittedly a bit indulgent where his kids and grandkids were concerned. If he and Polly had one argument; it was his parenting skills. Polly had simply learned to compensate, which typically made her the disciplinarian.

Mike had heard Polly's raised voice a few times but knew better then interrupt her when she was arguing or disciplining with one of the kids. He wasn't that brave. Rebecca had come out and was sitting the table for him, even though it was a little early. Grace sent him a text to let him know she would be picking her four kids up before dinner and Mike was already planning on having Hannah, Sam and Henry for supper. Polly came out with a smile on her face, especially when she seen Rebecca setting the table.

"Grace will be out before dinner to get her four. Hannah is planning on eating here with Henry and Sam." Mike explained.

"Good, kids; clean that living room up." Polly yelled into the living room. Polly was a doting grandma but even the grandkids knew better then to ignore her. Matty started showing them how to fold the blankets and set everyone to work and walked into the kitchen to speak with his parents.

"Hey, Tara is going to pick me up in a bit. We wanted to go bowling. If you need me at home though, I can stay?" Matty asked. He and Tara had dated all through high school and Mike suspected that within a few years; he would be attending their wedding. Both Mike and Polly loved Tara and loved how she adored their son.

"That's fine. I assume you'll be gone for dinner?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, if that's okay?" Matty asked.

"Its fine. Why is Tara taking her car?" Polly asked.

"She didn't say. Just said she'd drive and I'm saving my money." Matty said.

"Please tell me you are paying for the bowling and dinner? I know the two of you have been dating for a few years; but you still need to be a gentleman." Mike asked.

"Yes, sir." Matty said. Polly had gone back to the bedroom wing, presumably to change clothes.

"Good." Mike answered.

"Dad…uh; you remember when you told me that you had saved my mom's engagement ring for me to give to the right girl at some point? Can I have the ring now?" Matty asked. Mike had kept Christine's ring back for Matty so that his slightly disorganized son wouldn't lose it. Mike was slightly bawled over by the request. Matty and Tara were only eighteen. Entirely too young.

"I have it and you can have it, but son; you are a bit young, don't you think?" Mike asked.

"You told me that you nearly married your high school sweetheart out of school. Why am I different? And you and Mom married fairly young too." Matty asked. Mike could hear the aggravation in his voice.

"True but that isn't what I want for you. You and Tara both need to go to college, experience life. Son, being married is…its harder then you can imagine. Mom and I love Tara, but you are both so young." Mike argued. He could tell how tense Matty was becoming and he didn't want to argue. He grabbed Matty's arm and led him to his and Polly's bedroom, partly so she was there and partly to just end the argument.

"I don't know if I'm giving her the ring immediately and besides, we can have a long engagement." Matty stated. Polly walked out of the bathroom with a confused look on her face, while Mike went to the box in his dresser where he kept keepsakes, including the ring he had given to Christine many years before. He wasn't thrilled and suspected the proposal would be soon and the engagement wouldn't be a long one, but he didn't want an argument with his son over a ring he had promised him years before.

"I just want you and her to have some experiences. Grace married young, but she and Ryan did some living before they had Mikey. That's all I ask." Mike said as he handed Matty the ring box. It was odd to explain, but it felt like he was giving a piece of himself away. His marriage to Christine had been flawed and there were issues; but he still missed her and wondered what his life would have been like had she survived. Polly had stood in the background and not said a word.

"Yes, sir." Matty said before walking out of the bedroom. Mike didn't like the way the argument ended but Polly pulled him into a hug.

"You okay?" Polly asked.

"Kind of. Can't say I wasn't expecting it, but I was hoping for a couple years for them." Mike remarked.

"Mike, he is surrounded by happy couples. Me and you, Grace and Ryan, Hannah and Sam, Maggie and Alec, and the list goes on. He and Tara love each other. They may have a good life together. My suggestion is, even though you don't like it, give him your blessing. You love him too much not to." Polly told him as she tied her back and took her earrings off.

"Yeah. Glad you grouped me and you into the happy couples." Mike teased as he landed a kiss on her lips.

"You bet I do. I did talk to Gabby. She's lost her phone for a month and that might be extended, and she is to write a note to you, apologizing for her behavior." Polly explained.

"It really wasn't that big of a deal." Mike argued.

"It is because I warned her about saying that and it hurt you. Mike, you've raised her, provided for her and loved her. I get it, she's a typical teenager but we cannot allow this behavior to continue. I refuse to allow her to become self-centered and selfish. She has to think about her actions and words and how they affect others." Polly stated.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike said. He knew Polly was right and would back her up where the punishment was concerned. One of Gabby's little tricks was to cause a division and play her parents against each other. Mike knew it was another typical teenage thing. They walked back into the living area. Grace was there to pick her own kids up and Matty had apparently already left.

Mike wished that Matty had stuck around so he could talk to him before he left, but he would later. He talked for a bit with Grace and helped her load her own kids up in her vehicle. By the time he got back inside, Polly was dishing up their supper and Hannah and Sam showed up, but Mike couldn't shake the odd feeling he had concerning Matty.


	5. Chapter 5

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 5

It was extremely unusual that Matty wasn't back by the time Mike and Polly went to bed. Normally, if he was going to be running late; he would call Mike to explain. Granted, Matty was eighteen and Mike could hardly hold him to a curfew. He wasn't angry at Matty for running late, but was more concerned, especially when Matty didn't answer any calls or texts from either Mike or Polly. While things were a bit sour between Mike and Matty, he was always good about answering his phone.

Polly finally convinced Mike to lay down about eleven and she fell asleep fairly quickly, but Mike tossed and turned. Gabby had given Polly her note and after Polly's close inspection, she gave it to Mike, but he hadn't read it, due to his concern over Matty. At a little after twelve, Mike's cellphone finally rang. He immediately picked it up, anticipating a call from Matty but his heart sunk when he read Ryan's name on the ID. He immediately answered it.

_"Ryan, is there something wrong?" Mike asked. _

_ "Mike; you and Polly need to get up and dressed right now. A friend from a neighboring department just called me. There was a wreck up there. The car was pretty well obliterated and there was nothing identifiable about it. The driver was killed on impact and the passenger…the passenger was in bad shape. They didn't immediately find identification on them either and once they did…Mike, the passenger was Matty. He was transported to the hospital as a John Doe until his wallet and ID was found. My buddy recognized his name and knew it to be Grace's maiden name and called me. I called the hospital and got the run-around, but I did get out of them that Matty was in brain surgery. He is completely unresponsive. Grace is getting up and moving. We are also waking our kids up and once we get out there, if its okay; I will stay with the kids and she can ride with you all." Ryan spilled the whole speech with barely taking a breath. _

_ "What…happened?" Mike asked. He had shaken Polly awake and was grabbing his jeans from the clothes hamper. _

_ "Drunk driver. Driving wrong direction. He survived. Apparently, from what they can figure out, he was going about 100 mph at the time of impact. I have a call into a friend of mine with highway patrol to see what he knows." Ryan stated. Mike could hear the kids grumping about being woke up so late and could hear Grace's tearful voice arguing with them. No one loved Matty the way Grace did. _

_ "Okay. Do you know if Tara's family knows?" Mike asked. They went to the church with the couple and knew them quite well. _

_ "Kirk is in the process of making the notification." Ryan answered. Mike closed his eyes in pain. He had made the same notification to parents more then once. It was the hardest part of either of his career's and Tara had always been another kid to Mike and Polly. They loved her. He had put the phone on speaker to Polly could hear the conversation, and she also closed her eyes in pain. _

_ "Thanks. We will be here." Mike said as he hung up. _

Fifteen minutes later, Ryan and Grace showed up with their four kids, and surprisingly Hannah. Mike had gotten used to her not being there that he forgot to even call her. Fortunately, Ryan or Grace remembered. Ryan quickly got his sleepy kids settled and Mike, Polly, Grace and Hannah headed to the hospital. Mike drove at unthinkable speeds, while Polly called Pastor John to get to Tara's family and to Maggie and Alec, who immediately decided to come home from Arizona.

Once they arrived at the hospital, they were moved to a private conference room with a 'The surgeon will be with you within the hour.' No explanation or update. Grace was fortunately holding up better then any of them, arranging for coffee and pastries to be delivered and conducting many phone calls. Hannah didn't handle any of it well at all. Sam was also on his way up, leaving Henry with Tom and Sasha.

The hour passed, then two hours and then three. Sam had showed up and was trying to get into the OR to find out Matty's status, with no success. Mike had finally stood up to stretch and was looking out the window, where the sky was starting to lighten up; when an exhausted, sweat-covered surgeon finally walked in. After confirming that he and Polly were Matty's parents, Mike knew it had to be bad because the surgeon insisted on them sitting down. He had always done the same thing before giving a death notification.

"Is…my son alive?" Mike asked. He noticed the look of sympathy in the surgeon's eyes and immediately shut his eyes. Polly and Grace both grasped his hands and the surgeon started.

"His…heart is strong. There has been a catastrophic brain injury. I am going to tell you this in the simplest way possible. His brain basically bounced against his skull, causing a great deal of injury. We have tubes in to help with draining and we have drilled holes in the skull." The surgeon answered.

"I'm familiar with the procedure." Mike stated as he glanced over at Grace, who had had a similar surgery after her sexual assault. She had come out of it pretty well, only having occasional migraines.

"Alright. The problem is…there appears to be no brain activity. According to the paramedics, they don't know how long Matty was in the vehicle before they received the call and it took awhile to cut him out." The surgeon stated in choppy sentences, probably to make sure Mike and Polly understood.

"Do you expect to have an increase of activity as time goes by? I am a doctor by the way, just family practice now though. I spent four years in Africa, so I am only familiar with some of this from medical school." Sam asked.

"Honestly, no. The reason I brought it up, is because Matty is in perfect health and would be a perfect…donor. His organs didn't sustain any damage whatsoever. I know this is uncomfortable and we are just now getting an organ donation list back up, but it might be something you'd consider. I know you don't want to think about this, but would organ donation be something Matty would want in this circumstance?" The surgeon asked.

"That is not a conversation I've ever had with my eighteen-year-old." Mike answered sharply. Polly, while crying, squeezed his hand, trying to calm him.

"I understand. Time is of the essence right now. I know this is a hard decision to make, but I can arrange for the organ donation counselor to meet with you. Matty's organs could benefit a lot of people." The surgeon answered. Mike released Grace's hand and rubbed his face.

"Doctor, if we don't do this; what is Matty's prognosis?" Polly asked.

"Its my belief that he will be in a constant vegetative state. He also has a badly crushed leg. The orthopedic surgeon stated that if he is not…taken off life support, the leg will have to be amputated. There is nothing left to do with it. It is basically attached by skin. If that isn't done and you don't disconnect him, gangrene will set in and destroy the organs." The surgeon answered.

"So, I'm supposed to let my boy to be dissected and his vital organs sold to the highest bidder? Do you get some sort of kickback for suggesting this?" Mike asked sourly. What he knew about the organ donor registry was that the people that received the organs were the ones who could afford to bribe someone, not the patient who really needed the organs and couldn't afford them.

"Mike…" Polly said with a warning look.

"No. Perhaps if you see Matty, you will understand. Everything that you see, will be what the rest of Matty's life will be like. It is not a life." The surgeon answered before standing up and gesturing for Mike and Polly to follow him. Hannah, Sam and Grace also followed but were pointed towards a waiting room. Mike was prepared for what he saw when they walked into the room. Matty was a mass of bandages, lines and wires. There was a steady beep of a heart monitor and a ventilator working. Apparently Matty had had a tracheotomy as well. His bad leg was peeking out from under the covers and Mike could see blood on the bandaging. "I'll give you a few moments. I assure you, I am not suggesting this lightly. Just think about what Matty would ask for." The surgeon stated before walking out.

They stood in complete silence for a few moments. Mike was afraid to even touch Matty's hand for fear of hurting him. A nurse walked in to check the bandages and before she left, she spoke. "I know what the surgeon said was all gloom and doom, but I have worked on this floor for over twenty years and I have seen patients come out of situations a lot like this. Their families talked to them, touched them, and held their hands. I know that the doctor told you that there is a time factor, but this is your son. I don't want to give you false hope, but your boy was roadside for a couple hours before he was found. He fought that long and I would say, he's still fighting. Oh, and his clothes came with him. The shorts were pretty well destroyed because of the blood, but I found this ring box in his pocket. Thought it might be important." The nurse said as she handed Polly the ring box, along with Matty's wallet. She walked out and Polly put the box in her purse.

"Mike, this is your call." Polly stated as she came around and pulled him into a hug.

"I…want to wait awhile. I know that I should want to help other people and that is what Matty would want me to do, but…I just can't let him go yet." Mike stated and Polly nodded.

"I'll go tell the surgeon." Polly said before kissing his cheek.

"Can you ask him if Matty is in any pain?" Mike asked. She nodded back at him and walked out of the room to apprise the surgeon of Mike's decision. Mike just couldn't deal with him at that point. He sat down next to Matty's bedside and touched his hand, hoping for a flinch. A flinch would tell him that Matty recognized Mike's touch but there was nothing.

There was a reason why Matty had hung on for so long without life support. Was it to give Mike and the rest of the family a chance to say goodbye? A goodbye was not something that he had gotten with Lucas. As Mike turned Matty's hand in his own, he focused on the tattoo on Matty's wrist, identical to the one on his wrist and on Hannah and Grace's wrists. Matty had gotten his tattoo the day he turned eighteen, as a symbol of unity with his dad and both sisters. It was an infinity symbol and for them it meant unending love. Mike touched it lightly with his finger and could have sworn that he felt Matty's pinky finger move ever-so slightly. Polly and the nurse walked in just then as Mike stared at Matty's hand, willing it to move again.

"His finger just moved." Mike told the nurse. The surgeon happened to walk in behind them and made a clucking noise.

"Not possible. There is no brain activity. He isn't responding to painful stimuli at all." The surgeon stated. Mike nodded, but there was something in the back of his mind, that while Matty may not be responding to anything else, he had responded to Mike's touch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 6

There were more meetings with several more doctors and organ donation counselors. Matty's leg was crushed in several places and if he recovered from the head injury, the leg would be unusable. The organ donation counselor suggested having another EEG performed approximately twelve hours after the end of the surgery to see if there was anymore improvement. Mike had told her about the pinky moving and while she and her assistance were optimistic, they reminded Mike that it might have been an involuntary muscle movement. Mike's hope was almost defeated until he and Polly walked into the hospital room where Grace was sitting with her little brother. Mike had purposely left Grace with Ryan because Grace had an even stronger connection with Matty then what Mike did. She had raised him through the most formative years of his life and loved him no differently then she loved her own kids. Hannah had gone to the cafeteria to pick up breakfast sandwiches and coffee.

"Is something wrong?" Mike asked Grace who seemed to be staring at Matty, much like Mike had done earlier.

"I…was talking to him and touched his wrist. Dad, his eyebrow moved. It arched, like Mom's did." Grace stated.

"Which wrist?" Mike asked. Grace seemed perturbed by the question but lightly touched Matty's tattoo again. Sure enough, Matty's other hand moved, ever so slightly and his lip also moved. Polly had also been a bit unsure until she saw the movements. Mike sat down in the chair that Grace had vacated and ran his hand up Matty's arm. The one thing that he hadn't done was talk to Matty because he just didn't have the words. It was time. "Son, I don't know what is going on it that head of yours, but I know that you are still in there somewhere. The doctors are telling us that we need to disconnect all this and let you go. I know that you are in pain and the pain is not going to be any better when you wake up. You are one of the most selfless people I have ever met, so I want you to think about what this is doing to me and the rest of the family. We need you back and we all love you so much. Whatever your future will be like, we will handle but you gotta come back." Mike begged and then leaned over and kissed Matty's cheek. He didn't expect a response at all, but Matty let out a very low groan.

" Did you hear that?" Grace asked. She was standing next to Mike, while Polly was on the other side of the bed.

"Yeah, Matty, come on, son. Squeeze my hand." Mike ordered in a commanding voice as he held Matty's hand. Sure enough, there was a small squeeze and a moment later, a whisper.

"Hurt…Daddy." Matty whispered. It was barely even a whisper but gave Mike exactly what he needed. He stroked the side of Matty's face and squeezed Matty's hand.

"I know, son. Can I see those eyes now?" Mike asked.

It was like Matty was fighting consciousness and Mike had all but given up hope that Matty was waking up. Polly had explained the situation to the doctors and nurses, and they all agreed that the EEG needed to be done sooner. Hannah had come back in but had stepped back out to make a call to Sam, who had left a few hours prior and Polly was also out making calls, but Mike stayed by Matty's side. He wasn't sure if Grace was staying for Matty or to support him, but regardless, she was. Mike was thankful for how steady she was. He had expected something different out of her but was glad he had her to lean on.

A full hour after his initial words and long after Mike and Grace had stopped encouraging him, Matty's eyes popped open. Mike immediately noticed and stood up so Matty could see him. Grace had run out to get a nurse and Mike began talking to Matty.

"Son just stay with us. I know you're hurting and its easier to go back to sleep, but you are proving those doctors wrong. C'mon, Matty." Mike begged as a group of doctors and nurses rushed in and more or less, shoved him out of the way. Mike desperately wanted to stay by his son's side and could hear occasional groans while the doctors and nurses poked and prodded.

"What does this mean?" Grace asked. She had put her arm around Mike to hold him back. No one answered her question and the groans become more insistent. Matty was in pain.

"She asked what this meant?" Mike insisted. Polly and Hannah had also walked in and was standing back.

"Let's step out." A surgeon suggested. He wasn't the same one that had performed Matty's brain surgery and wasn't among the steady stream of medical professionals that had been in. Polly and Mike followed him out and they walked to a private waiting room.

"Doc, what is going on?" Mike asked.

"Okay, first of all, my name is Allan Davis and I am Chief of Surgery here. Obviously, our original assessment was wrong, but the one thing we are right about is that leg. Now that Matthew is awake, he has some say, but we don't know how much damage has been done, so he may have some…diminished capabilities. I also understand that his girlfriend was killed in the same accident. It is entirely your decision, but my suggestion is that you not tell him that she's died because it might affect his will, at least until the leg is amputated. Without a doubt, your son is a fighter. There is no telling what his future looks like, but I can promise, it is altered. I read that he was a star athlete with a full-ride scholarship? I hate to be pessimistic, but those days are gone. In situations like this, I give parents an option and I realize that most parents can't do this, but if at any point you are going to walk away, the time is now. Matthew will quite possibly require care around the clock and can be admitted to a nursing facility. I know that is a hard decision to make and a lot of people would want to hit me after saying that; but it has to be said." Dr. Davis stated as he, Mike and Polly made their selves comfortable in the waiting area.

"We…already have a daughter who is developmentally disabled." Polly answered weakly.

"I will leave the two of you to discuss this." Dr. Davis said before standing up and walking out of the room.

"You aren't actually thinking about walking away from him? I get that he isn't yours but…" Mike said but stopped when Polly held her hand up and stood up. Mike also stood and knew the argument was on.

"Mike, I have known that boy his entire life, longer then you. I have called him my son for thirteen years. I love Matty. That isn't going to change, but this is not just about him. We still have four kids at home. The fortunate thing with Charlotte is that she is capable of doing everything any four-year-old can, but the kids are aware that they might have to care for her once you and I are gone. Can you honestly say that you will give your other kids the attention they deserve and be Matty's full-time caregiver? We all want Matty to be okay, but how can he ever be okay again?" Polly asked. Mike was absolutely furious. He knew things weren't going to be perfect, but he never imagined that it would be his own wife that would create the ripple.

"You know what? You might have known Matty his entire life, but you are not his mother. Get out!" Mike said angrily before leaving the waiting room and heading back to Matty's hospital room. He didn't even bother looking back at Polly. He didn't realize that she was at his heels until she caught his elbow and turned him around in the hallway outside of the room.

"You are not getting rid of me that easily. Just think, Mike." Polly stated. Mike's temper was still boiling over, and he just nodded back at her and walked into the room. Dr. Davis was sitting at Matty's bedside, trying to explain what was going on, but Matty didn't seem to be able to articulate what his wishes were. Mike listened for a moment and then went to Matty's other side so he could see him.

"Son, Dr. Davis needs your permission to perform this surgery. I know that it is hard to understand. If we keep your leg, we will lose you. I would much rather have you with a prosthetic, then have you with both legs, but in a casket. Don't try to talk, can you do a thumbs up or down?" Mike asked.

It took Matty a moment to be able to make the motion, but he finally made a thumbs up sign. Mike nodded at Dr. Davis and squeezed Matty's hand. Polly was also on the same side as Mike and rubbed his arm.

"Do we need to sign anything?" Polly asked. Mike started to make a remark that she had no say, but Matty didn't need to hear it.

"Probably wouldn't hurt. I'll be back after I get the O.R. set up and get the paperwork in order." Dr. Davis stated. He left the room and Grace looked at Mike and Polly like they had lost their minds.

"What is going on with you two? We could hear you arguing in here." Grace stated.

"Don't worry about it." Mike snapped.

"Alright. I know that you both want to stay with Matty through the surgery, but I think as soon as he's in recovery, you need to both take a break. I'll stay with him. The nurse told me that they have rooms for family members on the tenth floor and I have reserved the two of you one of them. Ryan is on his way up with a couple changes of clothes for you all and your shaving kit, Dad. The only way we will make it through this is by sticking together and not biting each other's heads off. Now, kiss and make up." Grace ordered.

"You…need to…rest." Matty stated with a halting voice. It was the longest sentence he had said but was looking at both his parents. "Now…kiss." Matty said as he pointed at the two of them. Mike and Polly glanced at each other. To satisfy their kids, Mike put his arm around her, and Polly kissed his cheek; but that was not enough to satisfy them.

"Not what I meant." Grace remarked.

"Kiss." Matty added. Mike and Polly exchanged a look. The kids would not be satisfied until Mike and Polly 'kissed and made up,' no matter how angry he was or hurt she was. Added to that, Grace had a point. Matty needed his parents together. Begrudgingly, Mike pulled Polly closer and landed a kiss on her lips. They prolonged it for the kid's benefit, knowing it really didn't solve any problems, other then making the kids happy.

"I love you." Polly said quietly. Dr. Davis and a team of nurse's showed up and Mike wanted to give his son some sort of reassurement, but part of that was reassuring him that his parent's marriage would be intact.

"I love you, too and I am sorry." Mike responded and gave Polly another kiss, this time on the forehead. They released each other and then both bent down next to Matty.

"We'll be okay, son. You just have to be okay." Polly said as she kissed Matty's cheek. Mike felt horribly about what he had said because he knew that Polly loved Matty just as much as she loved the kids, she had given birth to. Just like he loved Max and Gabby. It had been an unfair shot.

"That's right. We will handle whatever happens. We love you, Matty." Mike said in agreement as he kissed Matty on the cheek. Both Hannah and Grace also bent down on the other side of the bed and kissed Matty while Mike signed the paperwork. It took some finagling to get Matty out of the hospital room and headed to the OR and Mike struggled watching him go.

**I am no medical expert so bare that in mind! Thanks for the reviews. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 7

The surgery took four hours but finally Matty was wheeled out. The trach had been taken out as well; and he seemed to be breathing well on his own. Mike had a lot of trouble looking down and seeing the missing leg and foot. It had been amputated above the knee, but the doctor was optimistic that he would be fitted for a prosthetic.

They kept him sedated and Mike desperately wanted to be there when he woke up, but the nurse told him and Polly to rest because Matty had a lot ahead of him. They hadn't discussed their argument at all, and Mike could feel the tension in the air. Ryan had brought them a duffel bag of clothes for them and Grace pushed them onto the elevator with a promise that she would call if Matty woke up. As they stepped out of the elevator, the tenth floor reminded them of a hotel reception area. Polly walked to the desk to 'check-in' while Mike hung back.

"Our daughter reserved us a room. Slattery?" Polly asked.

"Oh yes. Room 23. Now, the rooms are small and not particularly luxurious. And…it is only a double bed, but it will serve a purpose. There's a bathroom attached, so you can freshen up. We have a continental breakfast, lunch and supper served at eight, noon and six." The receptionist explained.

"That's fine…uh, I've kind of lost track of time. Is it day or night?" Polly asked.

"Its eight-forty-five pm, ma'am. Get some rest." The receptionist answered as she handed her the key. Mike followed Polly to the room, wondering if they would talk about their argument and the ensuing tension. As soon as they walked in, Mike groaned at the room.

"A tiny bed and no window?" Mike stated. He was prepared to let Polly rest and go back to his son's room. Other then he really wanted to freshen up.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Short of leaving the hospital and going to an actual hotel, this is the best option. Go ahead and take your shower. I'm going to call home. I'm sure the kids need to talk." Polly said as she sat down on the bed and turned her cellphone on. Mike pulled a pair of boxers out of the bag and groaned. Ryan hadn't gotten crazy packing. There was a pair of wind pants and a t-shirt for the next day, and sweats and a sweatshirt for Polly.

"May have to see if one of the girls can pack us an actual bag. This is a little lacking." Mike said as he walked into the bathroom. It was sufficient for his needs, but the water was not as hot as he preferred, and the pressure was low. Despite that, it felt good to get cleaned up. He shaved and walked back out. Polly had the bed turned down and ready to just lay down.

"Kids are alright. Worried. I told them that I would try and come home tomorrow." Polly told him as she opened the bag and let out a low laugh. "And I will definitely pack us a better bag. This is my pajamas for the night." Polly said as she held up the pink nightgown that she had worn on their wedding night and a few times since. She rarely wore it anymore because it had gotten a bit snug on her.

"I still haven't figured out why you keep that old thing." Mike stated. He meant it as a joke, but Polly gave him a hurt expression.

"I keep it because I like to be reminded how magical that first night was, at least for me." Polly said as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Mike shook his head, not knowing even how to respond. It was going to be a rough night.

Polly took a bit longer with her shower and when she came out, Mike was certain that her eyes were reddened from tears but didn't say a word. He had settled in bed. Normally, Polly slept with her head on his chest but as soon as she laid down, she rolled away from him, not that she could get very far in the double bed.

It took both quite a while to get comfortable and it felt odd not having Polly in his arms. Mike wasn't sure how to fix his suddenly fractured marriage. Things had been going well for years. They talked, laughed, discussed and loved each other. Now, things just hurt.

Mike and Polly slept hard and for a lot longer then they intended. When they finally did wake up, they were in their normal sleeping positions, him on his back with Polly laying on her side, with her head on Mike's chest. It took them a few minutes for them to get their bearings and Mike found himself rubbing Polly's back, just like he always did.

"Mike, I know you want to stay up here with Matty. I understand that, but I need to get home to our other kids. I hope you understand?" Polly finally asked. She had propped her head up on his chest and he rubbed his face. He didn't really understand it. He couldn't understand how Polly could leave Matty.

"No, I don't. You say he's your son and you love him. If you did, you would want to stay here." Mike argued as he stood up. Polly also sat up in the bed and crossed her arms over her chest. She was still in the nightgown and normally Mike would be trying to get her out of it, but neither were in the mood for that.

"I do love Matty, don't imply that I don't. No, I didn't give birth to him, but I love him all the same. Why are you suddenly questioning this? I have defended you, countless times to Gabby when she pulled her crap. Said you weren't her dad. I've punished her. I've raised Matty. Fixed his favorite foods, rocked him to sleep, bought his favorite fishing lures when you were too cheap to, reminded him that you loved him when you couldn't man up and say it; and now that he's hurt, you are throwing around that I'm not his mom and no one loves him as much as you do? How would you feel if I suddenly questioned your love for Max or Gabby? Told you to leave their bedside if they were hurt and then act all self-righteous when you felt the need to care for our other children, who I might mention, are scared and confused. I don't think you'd like it very well." Polly said as she got out of the bed and threw her clothes on. Normally, Mike would have loved to watch his wife dress or undress, but he was too angry.

"The difference being is that I adopted them. Shelled out thousands to keep Max. Didn't so much as get a thank you for it." Mike said as he dressed. He had no idea where all the venom was coming from, but he couldn't stop it.

"Wasn't aware that I needed to thank you. And as far as what you got in return, you got Max and Gabby. I maybe mistaken but I am pretty certain that you love them, correct?" Polly asked.

"Yes." Mike agreed sheepishly.

"Point made. Mike, no, I didn't adopt Matty but that doesn't mean that I don't love him. I also didn't adopt Grace or Hannah, but I love them. I am not sure what is going on between you and I, but I think we need some separation. The kids need me at home, and I will come up and visit Matty, if that is alright? I just want to make sure he's okay today and help you tell him about Tara. That is going to hit him pretty hard." Polly said as she threw their personal items into the duffel bag and grabbed the key. She had thrown her hair into a ponytail while they argued. Mike had also finished dressing and getting ready. They walked out of the room, made a donation to the floor and headed to the elevator to go to Matty. They really hadn't solved anything. They were alone in the elevator and Mike looked over at his wife, when he realized what she had said.

"What'd you mean by separation?" Mike asked, wondering if she meant a legal separation. He didn't think things were quite that bad.

"What do you want it to mean? I meant only some time away from one another. I'd stay at home and you could stay here with Matty. Were you wanting something more…legal?" Polly asked.

"I…" Mike started but they had arrived on Matty's floor and it wasn't the proper time to answer. He should have made the time because his lack of answer told Polly the wrong thing.

"I see. Well, I will say one thing. I am glad that you held me last night. I'm going to miss that." Polly said with a cracking voice. She walked away, towards Matty's room before Mike could stop her. He could only follow her to Matty's room, hoping he could clarify things but as soon as he walked in, he knew there would be no time. Matty was sitting up in bed and looked better but was looking around in confusion.

"Where's Tara?" Matty asked. Hannah had left the room entirely and Grace moved out of the way so Mike and Polly could deliver the news. With a nod from Polly, Mike sat down on the chair next to the bed and squeezed Matty's hand.

"Son, there is no easy way to tell you this, but Tara died. From what Ryan has found out, probably instantly on impact." Mike told him simply. Polly was rubbing Matty's arm and Mike hadn't let loose of his hand. Matty hadn't really reacted and Mike started to repeat himself when the orthopedic surgeon stepped in.

"Admiral Slattery, can I speak to you for a moment out here?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." Mike said as he walked out, leaving Matty with Grace and Polly. As soon as he was out of Matty's line of sight, the dam that Matty had built up, broke. He started crying and Grace looked at Polly, uncertain of what to do. Polly lowered the bed rail and sat down next to Matty, pulling him onto her chest so he could cry.

Thankfully, Mike was gone for several minutes and Matty cried himself to sleep in Polly's arms. She was gently rocking him back and forth and rubbing his shoulder. None of their boys liked Mike seeing them cry and so it was always Polly they sought out when they needed comforted.

"Dad's walking back down the hallway." Grace warned. Polly gently laid Matty back down and wiped the tears off his cheek so Mike wouldn't see. Mike walked in with Hannah following.

"He's already back to sleep?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. Everything okay?" Polly asked.

"Just had to sign some forms for insurance. Get the game plan for a prosthetic. Matty has good upper body strength, but it will be awhile before he gets it. This is going to take a while." Mike explained.

"Well, at least he's alive. I'm going to take the girls home and spend some time with the younger kids. Will you be okay?" Polly asked.

"Yeah, we'll be fine." Mike answered. Grace and Hannah had noticed how stiff Mike and Polly were towards one another. Their normally loving relationship seemed strained.

"Alright. I will come back tomorrow with a couple changes of clothes for you and some of Matty's things. We will figure out the other stuff later." Polly stated as she grabbed her purse and the duffel bag. Mike wasn't sure what to do and didn't want to make the girls think anything was off; so, he bent down and kissed Polly's cheek. She even leaned into him for a moment and patted his chest.

"Talk to you later." Mike said as he kissed her again on the cheek. There were no 'I love you's' or 'I'll miss you's.' Just an awkward goodbye. It didn't say much for the fate of their marriage and there was no time to fix it.

Polly, Grace and Hannah left a while later, leaving Mike to focus on Matty. Mike was really worried about the young man. He had reacted too well to the news of Tara's death. Mike wasn't sure how he was even functioning. A brain surgery, his left leg amputated, a dead girlfriend and months of physical therapy ahead of him. He would still get a college education and Mike could certainly afford to send him, but his hopes to play football and baseball were gone, all because of a drunk driver. Mike was angry and Polly had become the scapegoat.


	8. Chapter 8

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 8

Mike was shocked at how quick Matty started trying to walk. Granted, it was halting steps with a crutch, but he was trying. Mike felt he was pushing himself too hard. The physical therapist was really good to make Matty rest when he overdid it. Since Mike didn't have any stairs at his house, Matty could be released, with therapy three times a week.

Polly had only visited once, and that was with Charlotte, so she and Mike didn't really have a chance to talk. Mike could tell she hadn't slept well. He hadn't either. Matty had been moved to a regular hospital room, where Mike could sleep on a couch. Despite that, Mike was ready for his own bed with his wife next to him.

Polly showed up at one, thankfully alone. Matty had been in the hospital for over a week and he was finally being released. There was a wheelchair, crutches and a cane also going home. Mike helped Matty get dressed, pinning up the pant leg around the amputated leg. He had learned how to do the bandage changes, how to help Matty in the shower and a hundred other things that Mike never thought he'd have to do for his son. Polly followed Mike out to take the items to her SUV and as they were putting the equipment into the back, Mike focused on a moving box.

"What's that?" Mike asked as he pointed at the box.

"A separation, Mike. I've moved out. Back to the parsonage. Gabby, the twins and Charlotte have moved with me and we will figure something out where visitation is concerned. Granted, of course, you want visitation with them." Polly answered him. Mike's heart was broken.

"Of course…I don't even want a separation. Why would you think…oh, right." Mike stated, remembering his conversation from a few days before. He had never given Polly an answer and now it was too late.

"Mike, I think we need to spend some time apart to figure out if there is still even anything left of our marriage. I will help you with Matty. He needs a mother right now and is seeking me out. I know you don't think so, but I do love him and despite all this, I love you. I just can't be around you right now and I really don't know how to fix this." Polly said as she wiped a tear away.

"I…don't even know what to say. I know I didn't answer you the other day and I should have, but…" Mike started but Polly put her hand up. The nurse had rolled Matty out and they needed to present a united front for their son.

"Later, Mike." Polly said as she wiped the last of the tears and walked to where Matty was sitting. She offered him a smile as Mike helped him out of the wheelchair and up into the SUV. It took some positioning and pain before Matty was properly belted in. Polly handed Mike the keys and jumped in the passenger seat. Mike had gotten about a mile down the road when Matty finally spoke.

"Hey, Mom; I am so sick of hospital food. Can we have spaghetti tonight?" Matty asked. Mike glanced over at Polly, not sure how she'd respond. She turned around slightly in the seat so she could look back at Matty.

"Son, I would be happy to make anything you'd want but the thing is, your dad and I have separated. I have moved to the parsonage with Gabby, the twins and Charlotte. There are stairs there, so you'll be staying with your dad. This doesn't mean that I've stopped caring for you or your sisters. I love you, so, so much. That will never change. Your dad and I will be working out things and I'm sure the kids will be there to visit." Polly answered. Mike looked back in the rearview mirror and saw the shock and pain on Matty's face. It made him wonder how the other kids had responded.

"Why does everything have to change? You guys love each other, that's all that should matter." Matty asked, with tears in his voice. It was the first sign of emotion from him and Mike was shocked.

"Son, the one thing that won't change is the fact that we love you kids. This is new to all of us. We might even figure things out and end up back together, but for now and for the foreseeable future, this is what it is. Mike, could you stop up here? I need to use the restroom." Polly asked and Mike made the turn. He pulled into the gas station and she got out of the SUV and walked into the building.

"Do you need anything to drink or eat?" Mike asked.

"I'm fine. I just really wanted to be home, but I thought my family would be there." Matty answered.

"Son, I'm sorry. I will try to work things out with her, and I will make a point to involve her in your life." Mike stated.

"Why did she and the kids have to move out? You could have moved into town or something? Even into one of the other bedrooms." Matty asked.

"I didn't ask her to move out. I don't like this either, son and I promise, I am going to do everything I can to fix it." Mike answered. Polly had reappeared and jumped in the SUV with a coffee for Mike, bottles of water for her and Matty and Matty's favorite cookies.

The rest of the ride was made in silence. The one thing Mike had noticed was that Polly's engagement ring and wedding band was still on her left ring finger, just as his wedding band was on his finger. It gave him hope.

Getting Matty into the house was a harder task then Mike had imagined, because he had a couple steps up to the front porch. Fortunately, Polly had stuck around and encouraged Matty. Finally, they got him settled on the couch. Matty was exhausted and quickly fell asleep. As Mike watched Polly tuck the blanket around him and kiss his forehead, he looked over at a wedding photo of them. He stood to lose a lot more then just his wife if he couldn't fix things.

"Can we talk for a minute?" Mike asked once Polly stood up.

"Sure, but just for a minute. I need to get back to the kids. Maggie and Alec got in and I'm sure she'd like to go home and rest up." Polly stated. Mike nodded and led her onto the back porch and to the swing, an area that they had spent hours talking, laughing and sleeping. Mike sat down and pulled Polly down with him, even putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I don't want this. I know that I shouldn't have said those things to you, and I know that you love my kids just as much as I love Max and Gabby. However, the horse is out of the gate. What I need from you is, I need you to tell me how to get you back? Is there a way?" Mike asked.

"Can…can I think about it, Mike? You have no idea how badly that comment about not being Matty's mother stung, especially since I have defended you so many times to Gabby. If the roles were reversed and I threw that in your face; you'd be as hurt. I have no doubt that you love me, but you don't hurt people that you love like that. I also realize that I hurt you, by not staying, by you thinking I would walk away from Matty, but I only did it for the good of the entire family, not just him." Polly stated.

"I understand and I am sorry. I truly hope we can work this out. I will do everything I can possibly think of to get you back." Mike answered as they both stood up. He decided to take a chance and pulled her into a hug. Thankfully, she just melted into him.

"I love you, Mike. That isn't going to change." Polly said before pulling away and walking back into the house. Mike stood and locked down at the dock where he and Polly had gotten married thirteen years before, wishing he could just go back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 9

The first night at home was not pleasant for Mike or Matty. Matty, because he was frustrated, angry and sad. Mike, because he was at odds on how to deal with Matty and missing his wife and other kids. The house was too quiet and because Matty needed to stay home; Mike couldn't exactly go to the parsonage to see his other kids. He had expected that Grace and Hannah would be around, but they weren't. He wasn't certain if it was because they were upset with him or because they were busy with their own kids. He felt like an island and he didn't like it at all.

Fortunately, Matty would be able to attend physical and occupation therapy in town. They were figuring out if there were 'neural deficits' still, but so far, aside from being easily angered and overly tired, Matty seemed like his self. The only person that had had to deal with the anger and exhaustion was Mike. Everyone else got Matty's sunny disposition. Mike was half tempted to take his suggestion and allow Polly and the other kids to move back in and move into one of the spare bedrooms so he could still take care of Matty's physical needs. He just wasn't sure it would do any good other then to confuse his entire family.

After therapy, Mike suggested going to Maggie's to eat, hoping that Polly would be there. Matty apparently hoped the same thing because he agreed to it. Neither he or Mike had realized how difficult it would be to get into the restaurant. Finally, they made it inside and took a table towards the entrance. Matty was disappointed because Polly was not there and was not afraid to let Mike know about it.

"Where's Mom? I thought you said she would be here." Matty questioned. It didn't help that the waitress was one they didn't know, and she was frustrated because Matty's crutches were in her way.

"I wasn't sure if she was or not, but figured you wanted to get out of the house for a bit. It'll do you good to be around other people." Mike stated. He had not been prepared for Matty's moods.

"Other people stare. Mom understands. You even stare." Matty remarked as he looked at the menu. It was like he couldn't figure out the words on it. Mike had noticed that he had seemed to be having difficulty reading. It would go on the list of 'neural deficits.'

"I do not stare at you." Mike argued.

"Yes, you do." Matty argued back. The waitress was making her rounds and seemed even more frustrated that Matty hadn't figured out what he wanted.

"Okay, I'm not arguing with you here. What do you want to eat and drink?" Mike asked, trying to get Matty off subject.

"Didn't bother you to argue with Mom at the hospital. That was embarrassing." Matty stated.

"Matty, please? We can get out orders to go if you prefer?" Mike begged.

"I have no idea what I want because I can't read the damn menu. The letters are all messed up. I wanted spaghetti, but because you caused Mom to move out, I didn't get that." Matty said with a raised voice. Several people were staring at him now. Mike was not thrilled with the entire restaurant knowing that he and Polly had separated but had to calm his own bad temper.

"Well, here? Do you want a burger and fries? Or…a patty melt? Those are on special today. That's what I'm getting." Mike asked.

"Whatever." Matty stated. The waitress had reappeared and was ready to take their orders.

"Alright, two Patty Melts, one with mushrooms, one without. Onion rings in both cases. I'll have a coffee and he'll have a…orange soda?" Mike stated. The waitress looked at Matty to answer, but he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright. Is he okay?" The waitress asked, making air quotation marks with her fingers.

"I am fine. My sister is the one that is mentally retarded. Not me." Matty answered. The waitress looked at Matty like he had grown a second head and Mike groaned. One of his and Polly's pet peeves was the term 'mentally retarded.' They didn't like it regardless but having a special needs child reinforced it.

"MATTY! Enough!" Mike scolded his son, who just rolled his eyes. Fortunately, Maggie walked through the door and he turned back into an angel. She rushed to him and hugged him, but completely ignored Mike.

"How's my favorite Matthew?" Maggie asked. She was one of the few people who could get away with calling Matty by his Christian name. Mike wasn't even allowed to.

"I'm okay." Matty said. Maggie was fussing over Matty and giving Mike a cold shoulder.

"You don't lie very well. Sorry we couldn't get here sooner. Our tire blew in Texas and it took a day to get the replacement. Wait until you see our pictures of the Grand Canyon. It's amazing. We hiked it and…" Maggie droned on, but Matty had seemed to lose interest.

"When is our food going to be here? I'm tired and I want to go home." Matty interrupted.

"I'll check. I can get it changed to a take-out order?" Maggie asked.

"No. Its fine." Matty answered. All Mike could do was shrug. Alec walked in and Mike decided to take an opportunity to give Matty time with one of his maternal figures. Alec had squeezed Mike's shoulder before sitting down at the bar, out of ear-shot.

"Maggie, would you care to sit with Matty for a couple minutes? I'll just be over here. I think he needs some time with one of his mom's." Mike asked, referencing the joke about Matty having three moms, Polly, Grace and Maggie. All three women were fiercely protective of the young man and could temper Matty's moods.

"Sure. Go ahead." Maggie said before shooing Mike away. Matty just nodded at Mike before he got up out of his chair and walked to the bar. He sat down next to Alec, waiting for the same cold shoulder.

"Man, you gotta get a grip!" Alec stated after a moment.

"Me? What did I do?" Mike asked. He hadn't anticipated Alec saying that. He figured as a man, Alec would be on his side, if there was a side to be had. But he had also known Polly since she was eight. It wasn't terribly surprising.

"You are going to lose everything." Alec warned.

"For your information, I didn't ask her to leave. Told her I didn't want a separation." Mike insisted.

"Mike, marriage isn't contingent on one partner's wishes. It is give and take. And, you stand to lose more than just Polly. The kids are not thrilled by this. You got home yesterday, and did you try to see the younger four kids?" Alec asked.

"No, but that wouldn't have been an issue if she hadn't moved them out. She did that without even asking me. I have some say in where they live." Mike argued.

"Or call? They know your home. I will agree, Polly is wrong in some of the things she's done, but the phone is not broken. Those poor kids think that you have forgotten them. Gabby, Tommy and Rebecca semi-understand this, but Charlotte? She's totally lost. All four kids are miserable too. Yes, Polly should not have jumped to conclusions and should have allowed you to have a say, especially where the kids are concerned. Now you have to fix it." Alec stated.

"So how?" Mike questioned. His food had arrived, and Mike took his sandwich. The waitress had taken Matty's to him.

"Years ago, Maggie and I separated for six months. She and Ryan moved into town, with Polly. Up in the apartment. I was miserable." Alec told him.

"You two? You have the perfect marriage." Mike questioned in surprise.

"It was after the Red Flu. Aiden and McKenna had died, and I blamed…everybody. I was angry and Maggie and Ryan got the brunt of it. It came to a head one night when I told Ryan that he should have just died too. I had been drinking and Maggie was furious. He was about thirteen then and I know he remembers it. She and Ryan moved the next day while I was at work and she didn't let me see him for two weeks. The thing is, I exhibited behavior that she didn't want around her son. She was protecting him, and it took me a while to realize that. How could she protect my own son from me? I had never physically hurt him or her. I didn't realize that what I said to Ryan, did far more damage. It still haunts me. Polly and Maggie are a lot alike. They are mama bears. Polly gets that you are angry. You had so many plans for Matty and now, he may never be able to obtain success. She is worried that that anger will spill over to the other kids and so she has done something to make you angry at her." Alec answered.

"So, what do I do to get her back? What'd you do?" Mike asked.

"Maggie and I started dating back in high school. We married straight out of school and had Ryan a year later. We loved each other but we had both fallen out of love. When you've been married for so long, that euphoria ends and the love you have for your spouse can just become a habit. Its what you've done for so long. I had to date Maggie. Make her fall back in love with me and rebuild my relationship with Ryan. It was not easy. You and Polly barely took any time to date. At the time, it worked, and I have no doubt that the two of you are soulmates, but sometimes even that takes some work. The reason Maggie and I have lasted so long now, is that I haven't stopped treating her like my girlfriend. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. Show up to her work with her favorite donut and coffee, send flowers or love notes. I get it, right now things are crazy and living separately doesn't help, but it can still be done, and you have a whole slew of people who want the two of you back together and will help. With the kids, with Matty. And where Matty is concerned? Mike, he's lost so much. His leg, his future, his girlfriend and now he thinks he has lost his mom. He adores Polly, but he also adores you. He is afraid that if he picks her over you, he'll lose you too. He also is a good big brother and those kids miss him." Alec explained. It made sense. Mike had gotten out of the habit, or maybe had never really been in the habit.

"And it took six months?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I think it only took about four months, but Maggie wanted to make sure. Just don't get out of the habit and call us. We will look after the kids and Matty." Alec said before he stood up and walked over to Matty. Mike followed with his plate and coffee. Matty was a bit more upbeat under Maggie's influence and thankfully the lunch was peaceful.

Matty fell asleep as soon as Mike got him home, leaving Mike to his own devices. It gave him time to reflect on Alec's advice. He needed to 'date' his wife. It made him realize, it had been years since Mike had sent Polly flowers. He didn't even bother on their anniversary, her birthday or Mother's Day. It was time. He would have preferred to write the card out himself but was very specific with what he wanted it to say when he called the florist.

_"I haven't done this in a long time and its high time, I stop treating you like a doormat, and more like the love of my life. Love, Mike" _


	10. Chapter 10

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 10

Mike felt like he had been holding his breath all afternoon, not knowing how Polly would react to the flowers that had been sent to her. She had always told him not to waste their money on such things. Maybe that was part of the problem. He had simply stopped bothering.

Thankfully, Matty slept most of the afternoon. Once he did wake up, he was not in a bad mood; he just wasn't talking. Mike had received a call from Matty's college recruiter, which Matty returned. His scholarship had been rescinded. He was encouraged to reapply on his scholastic accomplishments but would not be getting a full-ride scholarship. Mike had tried to assure him that they could afford to send him to college without a scholarship, but it was just another blow for Matty, even if it had been expected.

When Mike's high school sweetheart had died in car accident, Mike had been sent into a tail spin and he hadn't even been in the accident with Katie. Matty was struggling with far too much. And in true Matty fashion, he was trying to be okay. Mike finally sat down on the couch next to him, but Matty had turned away, looking out the window.

"You know, son; its okay not to be okay? No one expects you to sail through this. I don't understand about the leg or scholarship, but I do understand about Tara. I don't remember if I ever told you, but I dated a girl, named Katie, all through high school. We were going to get married, but she died in a car accident a month after graduation. It hurt for a good, long while. I went to college and met your mom. We started dating about a year after." Mike tried to reassure Matty, who only shook his head at him.

"You've told me before." Matty answered finally.

"Son, I want to help you. I just have to know how?" Mike begged. Polly was better at figuring out what was bothering all their kids, but she wasn't readily available.

"You missed your chance to help me." Matty remarked.

"How so?" Mike asked out of confusion.

"They told you that I was brain dead and that I could have been taken off life support and my organs could have helped people. A lot of people. You insisted that wouldn't happen and instead, I woke up like this. At least, if you had let me just die; I could have helped people. I can't even do that now. Everyone has to take care of me, and because of this; you and Mom got in a fight and she's left you and effectively me. Taken the younger kids with her and Grace and Hannah aren't around either. All of these years, all the hopes that you had for Lucas; you've pinned on me. Now what? Tommy? You'll fixate on him like you've done with me? What happens if he cracks under the pressure you've put on me to be like Lucas? You let him leave like you let Mom leave? Why do you think Grace and Hannah both took off for years? Because they couldn't handle all the pressure you've put on them too. They had to travel to Spain and Africa to get away from you! I'm not even capable of that! And Max? He told me before the accident that he is going to sign up for submarine service in the Navy. If he gets to do that, he'll be going to the bottom of the ocean to get away from you!" Matty raged. Mike knew most of it was due to the head injury, but it was still hard to hear. He also knew, Matty needed to say everything he was saying.

"I am not going to apologize for wanting you to survive and it wasn't only my decision. Your mom and your older sisters had an opinion in it too. We all wanted to give you a bit longer, and then you showed signs of improvement. Maybe I have put a lot of pressure on you kids, to succeed, to exceed what I accomplished. I hate to break it to you, but that is what parents do. I am sorry if you think I have pinned all my hopes for Lucas on you and now am disappointed in you. I am not. As far as your mom is concerned, it is going to take me some time; but I am working on getting her back. I didn't realize how I had been treating her, not just after your accident, but even before. It is going to take us some time to fix all of that. You have not lost her or your brothers and sisters. We all love you." Mike stated as calmly as he could. Matty had gone back to looking out of the window and Mike rubbed his face. He heard his cellphone ding on the counter and stood up. Mike squeezed his shoulder as he passed by and then walked into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw the text from Polly.

_"Can I drop Tommy off? Gabby and Rebecca have a softball game and Charlotte is with Hannah, playing with Henry. Tommy is missing you and Matty and has a new video game that he wants to play with Matty." Polly's text read. Mike was a little shocked that she didn't mention the flowers but decided not to draw attention to it. _

_ "Of course. It would do Matty a lot of good. Me too. Hate that I'm missing the girls' ball game, but it is just not logistical right now for Matty. And he lost his scholarship. He's in a mood." Mike answered._

_ "Who could blame him? I'll be there in 15. I'm running late so I'll just drop Tommy and Hannah may need to drop Charlotte off with you, depending on how late the game goes." Polly answered back._

_ "Alright." Mike texted back. _

"Hey, Matty; Mom just texted. She's dropping Tommy by and Charlotte might be dropped off later. She says Tommy has a new videogame he wants to play with you." Mike told Matty.

"Okay." Matty responded. Even though his back was turned away from Mike, he could hear a slight smile with the simple response. It gave Mike the hope he needed.

True to her word, Polly pulled in fifteen minutes later. Tommy jumped out of the SUV, and she left without talking to Mike who had stepped out onto the front porch. Mike was a little disappointed but thrilled to see his youngest son. It had been a week since he had seen Tommy and he had missed him. Tommy gave him a huge smile and Mike wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Thank you for wanting to come over. Matty and I have both been missing you." Mike told the twelve-year-old.

"I wanted to. Mom said to tell you that Hannah was bringing Charlotte by in about an hour." Tommy said with a smile as they walked in to the house. Matty was still on the couch, but at least greeted Tommy with a big smile.

"Okay. You guys play your game. I'm going to get supper started. Burgers on the grill sound good?" Mike asked.

"Yeah! I'm starving." Tommy stated as he was setting the game system up. Fortunately the controllers reached to the couch and Mike stepped out on the back deck to start the burgers. He had wanted to watch Matty play to test his hand-eye coordination, but Mike also knew, he needed the time with the happy-go-lucky Tommy. Mike had lost track of time, knowing that Tommy would get him if he was needed. He was shocked when Hannah stepped out on the back deck.

"Hey, sis." Mike stated.

"Hey. You okay? The boys said you had been out here for a while. I was just dropping Charlotte off." Hannah asked as she gave Mike a hug and kiss.

"Yeah, was just messing around with this new grill. How are things? I've barely asked." Mike asked.

"Good. We found a house. Working out details now, but its nice. Course, we have lived in a converted shipping container for the past couple years, so our version of nice is questionable. Once things settle, I have a couple projects that I could use my dad for?" Hannah hinted.

"Of course. Probably would do me some good to work on a project. How's Henry?" Mike asked.

"Oh, he's having a blast. I watched Hope, Andrew and Christa yesterday at Grace's. Loves all the cousin time. Dad, stop beating around the bush; how are you really? We are all worried about you." Hannah asked.

"I'm…okay, I am not okay. Yesterday took me by surprise and I don't much like being separated. Alec told me I needed to 'date' Polly. I sent her flowers today, but she made no mention of them when she texted me about Tommy coming over." Mike stated.

"Did you have them delivered to the church?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah, figured that is where she was." Mike said as he flipped the burgers.

"Well, I can explain why she didn't comment on them. Grace, Maggie and I took her out for the afternoon. Ryan and Alec watched the kids and we spoiled Mom. Figured she needed a bit of a reset. We took her to Springfield, got her hair done, a facial, a manicure and pedicure. The whole bit. Couple new outfits too. Totally new haircut and color and make-up. When you do see her…Dad, I know this isn't your thing, but mention it. Don't use words like pretty or beautiful. Use hot or sexy? Whatever. I think she needs to hear that from you. And I do think you will like what you see." Hannah told him.

"Okay, thank you for taking her out. And saying she is hot or sexy right now might get me slapped." Mike joked.

"Or kissed." Hannah said before she walked back into the house. Mike took the burgers off the grill, shut it off and followed her inside. Charlotte was sitting between her big brother's, engrossed in their game, but also cuddling close to Matty. As badly as Mike would have wanted a hug from her, what she was doing for Matty was much more important.

"Are you staying for supper?" Mike asked as he set everything up on the table.

"No, I got to head back. Talk to you later. I love you, Daddy." Hannah said as she grabbed her purse and gave him another hug and kiss.

"I love you too, sissy. Thank you for what you did for Polly." Mike said. Hannah nodded back at him and walked into the living room, giving both her brothers hugs and giving Charlotte a kiss.

"Just remember what I said, Daddy. It goes with the dating that Alec talked about. Mom loves you and you love her but you need the same spark back that you had way back. Us kids will help you both get that back." Hannah said before leaving.

It took some work to get Matty to the dining table, and Mike hated seeing all the empty chairs, but at least having Tommy and Charlotte there helped Matty's disposition. They talked, laughed and visited. As Mike cleaned up supper, he received another text from Polly.

_"Game is done, and girls won. They want ice cream. I figured that I would go and get the fixings and we could all have sundaes together?" Polly asked. It was a frequent tradition after the kid's games. _

_ "That sounds good. I've missed all of you." Mike responded. He didn't get a response back but at least he would get to see his daughters. _

A half-hour later, Polly pulled in. Mike made a point to walk out on the porch. The girls got out of the car first, but Polly was talking on the phone. Rebecca gave him a hug as she passed by but Gabby completely ignored him. They had carried the ice cream in with them, but Mike waited on Polly. Finally, she got out of the SUV and offered Mike a slight smile. Hannah had been right about one thing. She looked incredible. Her normally curly hair was straightened and fell to just below her shoulders. It had been dyed and covered the gray. Her make-up was done and Mike didn't recognize the outfit. She was wearing what his girls called a skort and a tank-top. It accented her figure perfectly.

"You look incredible. I love the hair. I was told to tell you that you were sexy, but I was too afraid that you'd slap me; although you do look sexy." Mike said as he gave Polly a stiff hug. Despite that it was not like their normal hugs, it felt good to just hold her, even if it was only for a second.

"Yeah, I caught you checking me out. You've not done that in a while." Polly said with a smile. Mike still had his arm around her, and they were walking up the walk to the house.

"Yeah, you got me on that. I should have. It is really good to have you here too." Mike answered.

"Well, despite everything, I've missed you too. So, that was Pastor John that I was talking to. He said that I have a dozen pink roses on my desk. You know anything about that?" Polly asked.

"A thing or two. I thought you were working this afternoon, but I am really glad you got away." Mike said as they stepped up on the porch.

"Yeah, the girls insisted. It got a little expensive and…I hadn't separated our checking accounts yet. That seemed…final. Hope you don't mind. If so, I can pay you on Monday when I…" Polly started.

"Its fine. We have it. I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself. Do you have everything you need at the parsonage? As badly as I want you and the kids back here, I also want you all comfortable for as long as this lasts. How are the kids doing with this?" Mike asked. They sat down on the front porch in the rocking chairs and Polly visibly faltered.

"Not…well. Gabby is tackling everything with her typical attitude. I have the girls in one bedroom and Rebecca and Charlotte on a bunk bed. It has not been a good adjustment for them. They are used to a lot of space, even though they share rooms and since Tommy is the only boy there, he gets his own room. When Max and Gabby were little, the parsonage worked perfectly for me, but now; not so much and I still haven't figured out how I am going to make Max's boot camp graduation. I can't afford the plane ticket and I can't ask you to fork the money out. He's…struggling with all this too. Matty getting hurt, and he is afraid now that you and I are separated, he isn't allowed to call you. I told him that even if you don't love me, you still love him and Gabby, but…I don't know." Polly finally finished and Mike reached over and squeezed her hand.

"First of all, I still love you and I love Max and Gabby too. Have him call me. The kids can stay over anytime. You too, for that matter. We have enough room that we can sleep in separate rooms, although I will admit, I would much prefer you sleeping on my chest. As far as Max's graduation; I want to go too but it'll depend on Matty. Regardless, you are going. The kids can stay with me, if I can't go. I will take care of your travel and hotel arrangements. I want you at the safest hotel in Chicago. If I can't make it, I do ask that you video it. I love that boy and have since well before you and I got married. He's the reason that I found you. If…and I don't want this to be the end between you and I, but if it is, I will always be thankful that I met that little boy. Had you and him and Gabby all these years. Babe, I still haven't figured out how to fix this, but I do know, I want to. Alec gave me a 'Come to Jesus' today. Told me that I needed to date you, hence the flowers. I don't really know if that is an answer or not. You can tell me to bug off, for that matter. I am not done with this marriage, but I know that I hurt you; and probably long before Matty's accident. I stopped noticing you. Alec told me that I might have fallen out of love with you, while I still love you. I don't really understand that because I have always loved you. Hannah said we lost our spark. I don't know about all that. We didn't really date when we could have, but would you go on a date with me?" Mike asked and then laughed when Polly laughed.

"I suppose so. I am not ready to move back in though. Not just because of what you did, but also because of what I did." Polly remarked.

"I'm not understanding you." Mike stated.

"Mike, I could have been more supportive when Matty was hurt. I should have understood why you would want to stay with him. I also shouldn't have implied that you didn't care about and would stop caring for our other kids. Shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and should have spoke with you before I moved out. I also had a 'Come to Jesus' talk today, first with Maggie and then with Pastor John and Melody. I also love Matty and I know he's struggling too. He needed me here when he got home and I've failed him. I think that is probably more unforgivable then what I've done to you. He had already lost so much and I took even more away from him." Polly explained.

"Sounds like we have ourselves quite the dilemma. How do we fix it?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. I just know that because of what I did, the choices I made, I made things harder and caused more problems between you and Gabby. That is part of the reason that I can't move back in here immediately. She's terribly angry at you right now and I don't want to expose Matty to it. They have always been so close and he...Maggie said he is really hurting. Gabby thinks that you threw us out. And then you didn't call or come by. I understand it, you were hurt by what I did, and you were busy with Matty, but it made matters worse. Fourteen-year-old mind doesn't understand the specifics. Its confusing. I do think that she needs to see us doing what you suggested. Dating? Falling back in love? There is going to be a lot to work through and it will take time. I am sorry I can't just move back in and I do…want to be careful in how we do this. We had better get back inside. Good talk, though?" Polly asked.

"Yep, just what we needed." Mike stated as they both stood up. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head and grabbed her hand. They walked in and smiled at their kids all sitting on the couch, talking with Matty and eating their ice cream. For Mike and Polly both, it was a sign of hope.


	11. Chapter 11

**Too Many Years **

Chapter 11

Mike felt a lot better after his talk with Polly and being able to spend time with his kids was always welcome. Matty was almost more upbeat, but it didn't last. He went to bed in a good mood and Mike was even able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, but was woken up with Matty yelling for him by three am. Mike ran into Matty's room and found him on the floor.

"I had to go to the bathroom and forgot about my stupid leg. I fell." Matty said angrily.

"Are you hurt?" Mike asked out of concern as he knelt next to Matty. He had picked up an odor but hadn't figured out what it was.

"NO! And before you ask, I had an accident! I said I had to go to the bathroom." Matty answered. Mike could tell he was embarrassed, and Mike's heart broke for about the fiftieth time that week.

"Its okay. Let me help you up and into my bathroom. Will be easier to get cleaned up." Mike said as he stood Matty up and handed him his crutches.

"It isn't okay. I'm eighteen. You shouldn't have to clean pee off me." Matty argued.

"Matty, it is okay. I am your father. It is my job to do this stuff, and someday, the roles maybe reversed." Mike said as he steered Matty into his bathroom. He helped him out of his gym shorts, boxers, bandages and into the shower, sitting him down on the built-in shower bench that Polly had begged for when they had remodeled their bathroom a few years before. She wanted a huge walk-in shower and now, it was a God-send for Matty. It also gave Matty the privacy that he needed. "Okay, son; I will let you do this part. Holler when you're done and I'll help you stand up and do the rest, okay?" Mike said as he handed Matty a wash rag and his own body wash.

"Okay." Matty agreed quietly. Mike stepped out of the bathroom and sat down on his bed. He looked at his cellphone and was shocked to see a text from Polly, sent five minutes before.

_ "You awake?" Polly's text read._

_ "Yeah, everything okay? Matty had an accident and is taking a shower right now. He's upset." Mike answered._

_ "Oh, poor kid. Anything I can do? Charlotte and Rebecca both ended up in my bed and its only a double. Doesn't work out very well." Polly admitted. _

_ "If you need a bigger bed, we can get you one? Or, you can use one of the ones in the spare rooms." Mike offered. _

_ "Its okay. I just couldn't sleep. You're busy with Matty. Sorry." Polly texted back. _

_ "Hey, its alright. You can call or text me anytime. No matter what." Mike answered._

"Dad!" Matty yelled for him. Mike had gone back into Matty's room and got a fresh change of clothes and bandages for him. Mike walked back into the bathroom, opened the shower door, and helped Matty stand up. Mike could tell how embarrassed Matty was to have his father cleaning his backside up and Mike was less then thrilled to do it, but he couldn't leave it undone, either.

"I can call your doctor and see about getting you an in-home health aide?" Mike offered. It had been suggested but Matty had refused it.

"No. I don't want a perfect stranger giving me showers either." Matty said after Mike helped him out of the shower and dried him off. Mike helped him dress and guided him into the bedroom to fix the bandages up. He could tell that Matty was getting tired, so he sat him back down on the bed.

"Do you need a pain pill?" Mike asked. Matty had barely taken any pain medicine, apparently preferring to be in pain.

"Actually, yes. I don't understand how a leg that isn't even there could hurt so bad." Matty commented.

"It's the nerves firing. Just relax." Mike answered as he finished wrapped the stump that was left of Matty's leg. It was the one thing that Mike had trouble with. Seeing what was left of the leg but Matty couldn't do it himself. He settled Matty against his pillow and walked into the kitchen to get Matty's meds and a glass of water. The problem with Matty taking pain meds was they disoriented him, and Mike was worried that he would 'forget about the leg' again. Mike needed to figure something out to keep Matty safe. He walked back into the bedroom and gave Matty one of the pain pills and the glass of water. "First thing, we need to figure something out so if you need help, I'll hear you. Doesn't help tonight though." Mike remarked.

"Can I just stay in here?" Matty asked. It made Mike's heart hurt even more, because Matty was intensely independent. There had been a point in time that Matty had slept in Mike's bed every night, and Mike had loved that time with Matty, bonding with him and having one-on-one time with him. It had stopped about the time Matty turned eight.

"Of course, son." Mike answered and then helped Matty relax into the bed. It didn't take Matty long at all to go to sleep, but Mike never fully went to sleep.

Matty didn't have therapy that day and so it was a relaxing day at home. Tommy had left his video game there and Mike and Matty spent part of the morning playing it. At noon, Grace waltzed in with three to-go containers from Maggie's restaurant. Mike was a little surprised to see her but happy.

"Hey, don't you have work?" Mike asked as he helped Matty off the couch and into the dining room, where Grace was sitting up the to-go containers.

"I do but took my lunch break. Figured I would hang out with the two of you." Grace said. Mike helped Matty sit down and then sit down next to him. Without a word, they switched food containers. Matty wasn't much for green salads and Mike wasn't wanting a greasy cheeseburger. Grace groaned when she saw them switch but didn't say anything.

"It's good to see you." Mike told her genuinely. He and Grace struggled with their relationship through the years, but Mike had always been amazed by Grace's strength and tenacity.

"You guys too." Grace said as both she and Mike sit down.

"Can you bring the kids out some time? I miss them." Matty asked a few minutes later. It surprised Mike, but Matty was the favorite uncle and he had to admit, he missed his grandkids almost as much as he missed his own kids.

"Sure, this weekend good? Ryan has to work Saturday day, and we don't have anything going on in the morning or afternoon." Grace asked.

"Yeah! Oh…Dad?" Matty asked with a hopeful look.

"Its fine." Mike remarked. He needed to figure out a day to go on a date with Polly. He needed the time with her.

"Something on you mind, Dad?" Grace asked as nibbled on her French Fries.

"Its…Polly and I are working on some stuff and I wanted to take her on a date. Just trying to figure out a day and all." Mike answered. He felt stupid for even bringing it up. Normally Mike and Polly made sure that Grace had childcare so she and Ryan could have time away and now, the roles needed to be reversed.

"And he needs help with me since I'm an invalid now that pees all over myself." Matty remarked awkwardly. Grace looked at Mike with a little uncertainty.

"I never said that. Matty just needs some help sometimes." Mike stated.

"And he had to help me clean up my backside and take a shower…" Matty added.

"Matty, without a doubt, if I needed help with any of that, Dad would help me. Stop beating yourself up. You are only a week out from brain surgery and having your leg amputated. There is nothing wrong with needing help. When I had my brain surgery, Dad had to massage my temples all the time because of how bad my head hurt. He also had to help me dress." Grace argued, obviously exaggerating what all Mike had done for her after her attack.

"Oh." Matty said without saying much more.

"Let me talk to Ryan, I don't think we have anything on Saturday night. He could just come out after work and we'd look after all of the kids. Maybe have Hannah, Sam and Henry out too. That way, if Matty needed help, there's a doctor in the house." Grace offered with a smile and joke.

"Thanks, honey." Mike told her. He really hated putting his older kids out, but if it was only childcare, they could just pay someone. Matty presented a problem. Mostly since he was pretty taciturn since he had gotten home.

"What kind of date do old, married people go on? Grocery shopping?" Matty asked.

"Actually, yes. The last couple Ryan and I have been on, we've gone and done our bulk shopping. But we also get to eat out and go to a movie. Stuff we wouldn't get to do if it wasn't for Mom and Dad giving us the time away from the kids. And in doing that, they've neglected taking the time away for themselves and each other. Its time they did that. Being married is a lot of hard work and Ryan and I took it for granted that they were okay, so that we could be okay. Its time to return the favor." Grace said with a smile.

"Oh." Matty said before Grace stood up. They had all eaten and Mike helped Matty to the couch while Grace cleaned everything up. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door with Mike on her heels. As she climbed into her SUV, she patted Mike's cheek.

"Just be patient, Dad. It'll get better. Don't go thinking that no one loves you. We all do. Even Matty. He's just hurting right now." Grace stated.

"I love all of you too. Even if things get better with Polly, I'm afraid my relationship with Gabby is a lost cause. She will barely be in the same room as me." Mike remarked. He had tried to talk to Gabby the night before, but she made it clear, she didn't want to hear what he said.

"I don't have the parenting experience that you have, but the day you think she is a lost cause and that whatever relationship you have is all that you can have; is the day that you lose her. Keep trying. As much as you have to date Polly, you may have to do the same with Gabby. Not…like that sounds but redevelop your relationship with her. And I know you are capable of it. You are a great dad and we are all blessed to have you. And, you know that Polly will encourage it. Just don't lose hope where Gabby is concerned, no matter what." Grace told him as she rubbed his shoulder.

"When did my kids get so wise?" Mike asked.

"Just happened. Not sure when. Plan on taking Polly out on Saturday night and spoil her. She mentioned wanting to go for sushi when we took her yesterday. I know that isn't your thing, but they have steak. Take her. Don't worry about Matty or the kids. You and Polly have helped Ryan and I many times. Now, its your turn to be helped." Grace said.

Mike walked back into the house after Grace left, and smiled down at Matty, who was sound asleep on the couch. Mike tucked a blanket around him and found his cellphone. He wasn't sure what Polly was doing but decided to call her. She answered on the third ring with a frustrated sound to her voice.

_"Hey, I was only calling to let you know I have child care and Matty-care secured for Saturday night. Grace is checking with Ryan, but she said for us to go out if you want? Is everything okay?" Mike asked._

_ "Oh, the school called me. Gabby was caught smoking weed in the bathroom. She's been suspended indefinitely. I have no idea what I'm going to do with her. I'm on my way to get her and then I have to be back at the church by one for a meeting. I can't trust her to stay at the parsonage by herself." Polly answered and Mike groaned. _

_ "Bring her here. Where'd she got weed?" Mike asked._

_ "I have no idea. It doesn't matter either. I will be there in a bit." Polly answered before hanging up. _

Knowing that Polly wouldn't have a chance to eat lunch on her break because she was dealing with Gabby, he quickly fixed her a turkey wrap in a tortilla like she liked and wrapped it in foil. He also bagged her up a couple carrot and celery sticks, a bag of M & M's and a bottle of water. By the time that he had it all in a lunch bag, she had pulled up and he met her at her vehicle. Sure enough, Gabby was sitting in the front seat with her arms crossed over her chest. Mike handed Polly the bag and listened to Gabby complain for a moment.

"Why do I have to stay here? Its not like he wants me here!" Gabby said loudly.

"Gabby, I don't have time to argue with you right now, but I will remind you; again, I was the one who decided to move out. Your dad didn't throw me out or force me to move and would much prefer I just move back in. Now, behave yourself. Matty doesn't need to deal with this attitude." Polly ordered. Gabby got out of the SUV in a huff and walked up the walk and into the house.

"I didn't figure you would have time to eat, so there's lunch. All food that can be ate on the go. Don't worry about Gabby. Do you have the twins and Charlotte figured out?" Mike asked.

"Charlotte is a preschool today and the twins are riding the bus to the parsonage." Polly answered as she opened the lunch Mike packed and took the wrap out and began eating it.

"Okay, if something comes up, let me know. I could even leave Matty for a bit to pick them up if necessary. Have you figured out a punishment for her yet?" Mike asked, referencing Gabby.

"I don't know, Mike. I've already taken her phone away and moved her out the only home she's ever known. I don't really know what else to do." Polly remarked.

"Alright, go to your meeting and don't worry about her. I will see what I can come up. Drive safe." Mike said as he leaned in to kiss Polly's cheek. It surprised him when she turned towards him and they ended up kissing each other on the lips. Mike would have pulled away a lot sooner, but Polly had a hand on the back of his neck, anchoring his face close to hers. It reminded him of the kisses that they had shared before they married, full of sexual tension and desire.

"Sorry, Mike; I wasn't thinking." Polly finally said.

"Its okay. I enjoyed it." Mike answered genuinely.

"Probably tasted like mayonnaise though?" Polly said as she started her vehicle back up.

"Good thing I like mayonnaise. It was welcome. Go on about your day." Mike said as he slapped the top of the vehicle and walked towards the house. Polly backed back out and Mike walked towards the house, not sure how he was going to deal with Gabby.


	12. Chapter 12

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 12

Matty had another difficult day in therapy and had had an outburst at his occupational therapist. It involved not being able to read simple words like 'the' and 'or.' He also was showing lapses in his memory from before the accident. He fortunately didn't remember the accident itself and the last thing he did remember was the argument that he had with Mike two days prior to his accident.

Mike didn't know how to even help Matty. He could dress him, help him read things, change bandages and make sure all of his physical needs were meant, but he couldn't put Matty's leg back on, or help him think, or get his family back any sooner. Polly was in the final planning stages of a huge mission's banquet at church and trying to juggle Gabby's school suspension. She didn't really have time to listen to Matty's rants, so that left Mike dealing with all of them. The only time that Matty brightened up was when one of the younger kids was around. One day; it was Rebecca, Tommy came over during the next morning, Mikey had also stopped in and Charlotte has spent a night.

Mike had gotten Matty home from therapy and tried to distract him with a new action movie that Matty hadn't seen yet, but Matty just sit on the couch and stared out the window. Matty's occupational therapist had suggested Matty seeing a psychiatrist, but Mike knew that it would never work. Matty was too much like Mike and Mike would never feel comfortable talking to a stranger about his problems. Mike was sitting at the kitchen island, reading through the accident report that Ryan had gotten for him. There were also pictures of Tara's car, but Mike couldn't look at them. The one glimpse that he had allowed himself was disconcerting. Blood, broken glass and what Mike could only call brain matter all over the windshield.

Polly had gone to Tara's funeral. It had been a closed casket because Tara had been severely traumatized in the accident. Ryan had identified her for Tara's parents and had only told Mike that she was almost unrecognizable. The doorbell rang and Mike shut the folder so Matty didn't see the pictures and got up to answer it. He was not shocked to see Tom on the other side.

"Oh, come in. Coffee?" Mike asked. Tom followed him in but gestured to the back porch. Mike nodded and walked into the living area where Matty was staring out the window. "Son, I am going to step outside for a minute. If you need anything, holler." Mike stated. Matty only nodded at him. Tom had grabbed them both cups of coffee and they went to the back porch and sat down at the patio table.

"So, how's things going?" Tom asked.

"Okay. What's going on with you?" Mike asked.

"You are a bad liar. So, Miller and Courtney are visiting this week. You know, he is counseling veterans now? Went to school and everything." Tom mentioned.

"I don't need a therapist." Mike stated.

"No, maybe not but you do have a son that could benefit from talking to someone." Tom answered.

"You are right there but I also know Matty. He isn't going to talk to a therapist." Mike remarked.

"Not a conventional therapist…no. But a double amputee, maybe. And we all know how Miller is to talk to. He gets under your skin." Tom stated. It was true.

"I wouldn't ask that of Miller. Matty is not himself. He is angry and who could really blame him?" Mike answered.

"No judgements here. He's been through a lot." Tom remarked.

"Lost scholarship, lost leg, lost girlfriend and the way he sees it, lost future. And he hasn't handled the separation well at all." Mike explained.

"That surprised all of us. What's Polly's deal?" Tom asked.

"Her deal is; I said some things I shouldn't have to her. She also said some things and we ended up here. Long story short. We are working on things." Mike answered.

"I see. I always thought you guys got along well." Tom responded.

"Me too. We will get through this though. We are going on a date Saturday night. I'm told by my daughters that I need to take her for sushi." Mike answered.

"You hate sushi!" Tom stated with a laugh.

"But Polly loves it. We hadn't been out for…a couple years. Busy with kids and helping Grace with her kids so she and Ryan can have time." Mike explained.

"Well, its time. Just taking the evening though? No romantic night?" Tom teased.

"No. I'm…like I said, a lot was said that shouldn't have been. Not sure I'm ready to and I know she isn't." Mike remarked and Tom chuckled.

"Funny. I drove by here yesterday, and Polly was here. Not that I was looking but the two of you were on the front porch." Tom stated.

"And? She was picking Charlotte and Tommy up. They were hanging out here." Mike asked.

"Mike, separated couples don't kiss like that. My take on it was that if you had had an empty house; you would not have been on the front porch, but in the bedroom. So, that being said, why is she still living at the parsonage? Not that I was looking, but it looked like she was the aggressor too." Tom joked.

"Polly's passionate. What can I say?" Mike responded.

"More then I want to know. Mike, you didn't answer my question?" Tom stated.

"We still have things to work through and Gabby is presenting an issue. We were having problems with her before, but it has gotten worse. She thinks I've thrown them out and gotten suspended from school. Smoking weed in the school bathroom." Mike answered.

"Oh, l see. My suggestion is, don't just take Polly out for dinner. Take her out for the night if she is good with it. If Gabby is a concern, she can stay with Sasha and I. If she thinks you and Polly are strict, she will hate us. I'm sure you can figure something out with the others, even Matty." Tom answered.

"Thanks. I will let you know." Mike stated.

"And Miller? He'll be in tomorrow. Mike, it would probably help that he's a double amputee. Will show Matty that he can still attain a normal." Tom asked.

"I'll let you know. I'm good with it. Just might not be a bad idea to have a barbeque or something. Something not formal." Mike remarked.

"I think Miller would be good with that. I did mention it to him, and he is happy to help." Tom answered.

"Good. See you later." Mike said as they parted ways, Mike into the house and Tom around the side of the house to his vehicle. Matty was still on the couch but was looking at one of his car magazines. Mike sat back down at the kitchen island and looked at a newspaper until his cellphone rang. Ryan was calling. Mike immediately answered, knowing if Ryan was calling, it wasn't good. He stepped into his bedroom to take the call.

_"Hey, what's going on?" Mike asked. _

_ "Uh…are you where you can talk?" Ryan asked._

_ "Matty's in the living room and I'm in my room. What's wrong?" Mike asked._

_ "Okay…I know Matty had the engagement ring in his pocket at the time of the accident. Has he…okay, Tara's tox screen came back. Negative for alcohol and drugs. Matty too. But…Mike, they did some additional testing. She was pregnant. The hormone levels showed her to be about six weeks along." Ryan stated. _

_ "Oh, God. I wonder if Matty knows?" Mike wondered._

_ "If I got a girl pregnant, a girl that I had dated for years and had been raised like Matty, I would ask for my dead mother's engagement ring, ask the girl to marry me; and then tell the parents." Ryan stated. _

_ "Yeah…but does he remember it? He doesn't remember much after Sunday." Mike wondered again. _

_ "I would say so. Would explain a lot. And now, he doesn't want to tell anyone. For fear of disappointment. We…haven't told her parents…yet. Kirk said that he suspects that her mom knew. Just a remark she made. Something about 'We aren't just grieving for Tara.'" Ryan explained. _

_ "I have no idea how to handle this." Mike stated. _

_ "Mike, you've lost a child. Matty hasn't just lost a leg, a scholarship, or his girlfriend now. You and I both know, a baby changes everything, even if you haven't met that baby yet. Grace and I haven't experienced losing a child, even to miscarriage but you are the only one who might be able to help with this, aside from maybe my dad. Course, I guess the losses aren't quite the same." Ryan answered. _

_ "No. But…miscarriages are rough too. Christine had one between Hannah and Lucas. I wasn't home, but it was hard. I fixate on Lucas' death, but there are times it creeps in. Grace and Hannah were too young to remember it and Christine didn't like to talk about it. I was home for a week or so about three months later, knocked her up and got home in time for Lucas' birth. Typical Navy marriage. Shore leave babies." Mike said, making light of that horrific situation. _

_ "I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't know. Kirk and I weren't sure how to handle this and we've been working as a liaison between Tara's family and the highway patrol." Ryan answered. _

_ "Alright, well; I'll…talk to Polly and see what she says before I say much to Matty. I know Tara's parents want to talk to him. Is her dad still angry?" Mike asked._

_ "He's going through a lot of motions. I have put it off that Matty is still pretty ill. Not totally a lie. I didn't feel he could deal with it yet." Ryan remarked. _

_ "You are right. I understand Mark's pain and if it was my daughter, I'd want the answers but Matty is my kid and I will protect him from it as long as possible. On the flipside, I also know that as long as he keeps it buried, the worse it will be for him. What's Grace say?" Mike asked, knowing that before Ryan called him, he spoke with Grace. Mike would like to think he knew Matty better then anyone, but the reality was, Grace was Matty's confidant. _

_ "I…haven't told her. I don't think she knows. As much as Matty would fear disappointing you, he would fear disappointing her more. Wonder if he would tell Hannah? Grace is good for advice but Hannah is good on screw-ups. Grace holds people to a high standard, especially Matty; while Hannah gets that people are human. If Matty was going to confide in anyone, I would put my money on Hannah…or Polly, but she would have told you, even with everything going on." Ryan remarked. _

_ "Okay. I'll…have Hannah come over for coffee. I'll have her bring Henry over. Matty is only upbeat when the kids are around." Mike admitted. _

_ "Sounds good. Let me know if you need anything." Ryan said before hanging up. _

Mike took a deep breath before texting Hannah or calling Polly. Ryan had been right about one thing. A baby changed everything. If Matty didn't remember that Tara was pregnant; it would be up to Mike to tell him, because Mike refused to keep that kind of secret from his son, regardless of his frame of mind. If Matty didn't know, it could tip him over the edge. He finally pulled his phone back out and typed out the text to Hannah.

_ "If you aren't busy, could you swing by? Bring Henry too. I need to speak with you regarding Matty. No huge emergency, just sometime this afternoon." Mike sent the text and within a minute, got a response._

_ "Henry is due to wake up from his nap in the next little bit. I'll feed him and come over. Everything ok?" Hannah asked._

_ "Not really. Will explain." Mike responded and then walked back into the living area. _

Matty had fallen asleep and Mike took a few minutes to just watch him sleep. He was at odds on how to deal with the news of the pregnancy. Had Tara survived, Mike knew that he would be disappointed in Matty, but he would have encouraged Matty to take responsibility for his unborn child, even if it meant not fulfilling all of Matty's potential. Polly would have also been disappointed and even angry with Matty, but they would have embraced Matty's child and would have welcomed Tara into their family. The anger and disappointed that they might have felt would never matter because the child would never be born, and Matty would have to deal with that.

Hannah walked in with a sleepy Henry about a half hour later and Mike laid him down next to Matty. Matty woke up just enough to wrap his arms around the little boy and cuddle close. Mike wrapped the blanket around both of them and then followed Hannah out to the back porch and sat down next to her on the swing.

"What's going on, Dad? Matty seems alright." Hannah asked. Mike had to be careful because he didn't want to make it seem like he was blaming her if she know.

"Before the accident, Matty had asked for your mom's engagement ring. As you know, it had been promised to him years ago. I gave it to him with some reservations. I knew he would be giving it to Tara. I liked Tara and knew that they would probably end up together but felt they were too young. I wanted them both to have some experiences. It led to a bit of a disagreement with your brother and nothing was resolved before the accident happened." Mike started.

"Okay, but there's more?" Hannah encouraged.

"Yeah. Ryan called me earlier. They had done a Tox screen on both Tara and Matty. Both came back negative for drugs and alcohol. That isn't a huge shock, but Tara's blood work showed an increased hormone level. She was about six weeks along." Mike explained.

"Oh…and you think that I knew? Dad, I had barely been home two days when the accident happened. Don't you think, if I had known; I would have said something? I'm a little shocked." Hannah stated. Mike could feel her tensing him up.

"Hannah, we all like talking to you when we are troubled by something. You are like a therapist. I had wondered if he told you before, to get your input. Apparently not?" Mike asked, hoping to simmer his daughter down.

"I would have said something after the accident." Hannah argued as she stood up and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive manner. Mike also stood up and put both hands on Hannah's shoulders. He couldn't afford another argument with another family member. Matty was hurting and striking out at everyone, Gabby hated him, and his marriage was severely fractured. He needed Hannah to settle down.

"Hannah, calm down. I have to break it to Matty that he has lost a child now, in addition to the leg, scholarship and girlfriend. I had hoped that he remembered it and had possibly told you about it. Maybe not wanting to disappoint Polly and I? I refuse to hide this from him. He might remember it, I don't know but if he doesn't, he is going to be in even worse shape. He needs you. Me asking you was me gauging if he had known beforehand. Either not remembering after the accident or bottling it up, for fear of disappointing us." Mike said as he gently massaged Hannah's shoulders. She was calming down slowly.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to tell him? He might never know, otherwise?" Hannah asked.

"Nothing hurts worse then losing a child. Doesn't matter how. Miscarriage or death. I would do anything to protect any of you kids from that pain. Telling him will hurt but him burying it, because he is going to eventually remember it, that could kill him." Mike explained. He could tell Hannah was not convinced.

"What's Mom say? She needs to be here when you tell him." Hannah asked.

"I haven't talked to her yet but intend to, before he's told and she'll want to be here. Would you care to stay here for a bit? She's at the church." Mike asked.

"Yeah. I can stay here. Henry is sound asleep." Hannah said as they walked back into the house. Mike reached over and gave Hannah a hug.

"Hannah, I truly didn't mean anything. I just wanted to gauge things and figured he might have talked to you. I was actually hoping for that." Mike told her quietly as he held her.

"Yeah, sorry; Dad. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions either. Better go to church and talk to Mom. She might have some insight." Hannah remarked.

"I hope. Call if you need anything." Mike said before grabbing his cellphone and keys. As he got into his truck, he realized that it was the first time that he had been away from Matty since he had come home from the hospital, or even beforehand. Mike realized that he needed the time away, to just collect his thoughts. As he walked into the church, Polly wasn't in her office, but Mike steered himself into the sanctuary, thinking she'd be in there. It was her 'thinking spot.' None of the lights were on but the sunlight was pouring through the stained glass windows.

Mike was not overly religious. It was a bone of contention between Mike and Polly. He went through the motions for her benefit, attended church every Sunday morning and night, and Wednesday night. He also helped with the Men's group, but it was half-hearted and Polly knew it. He put on a good front though.

Since Matty's accident and his separation from Polly, Mike had become increasingly angry. Angry at himself, angry at Polly and his kids, angry at God. The list was longer then Mike's arm. And he didn't know what to do about it. He had sat down in one the chairs towards the back of the sanctuary and just stared at the stained glass. He didn't hear Polly come in until she sat down next to him and squeezed his hand.

"You okay?" Polly finally asked.

"I had a call from Ryan earlier. They had performed blood work on Matty and Tara. Negative for drugs and alcohol but Tara showed an increased hormone level. She was right around six-weeks along. I think Matty was going to ask her to marry him, and then tell us. Accident happened first." Mike answered.

"Oh, wow. That's…tragic. Mike, we can't hide this from him. I understand wanting to. I…want to. But he has to know." Polly stated.

"I know. Do you think he knew before?" Mike asked.

"Possibly. Why else would he ask for the ring? I do have it by the way. The nurse gave it to me and I put it in my purse. Honestly forgot it until I moved out and then just didn't want to…didn't know if it was okay to go in our…your bedroom." Polly explained.

"Thanks. I haven't figured all this out. Tom was by earlier. Said Saturday when you and I go on our date, he could keep Gabby if we wanted to spend the night somewhere. Maybe see if Ryan, Grace, Hannah and Sam would stay at the house. I wasn't sure how you would feel about it?" Mike asked.

"Mike…I…I know I have given you some mixed signals. I'm…okay with the date but the night…I don't know if I'm there yet. I'm not saying it won't ever happen, but not Saturday. Besides, I am not certain leaving Matty for an entire night is a good idea. And Gabby?" Polly asked. Mike was a little disappointed but understood.

"Yeah, you're right." Mike said in agreement, trying to hide the disappointment. He just wanted his life back. When his kids were healthy and well adjusted. His marriage was strong.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I have certainly not helped in this department. Part of me wants to back away completely, but I miss you. I miss what we had, and I am afraid that because of this, we may never accomplish it again." Polly said as she rubbed his leg.

"I miss it too. Just don't back away completely. Maybe, we can work to accomplish something better? For now, I want to just concentrate on the kids. I'll cancel the reservation." Mike said before standing up. He started to walk away, but Polly caught him by the hand.

"I agree we need to concentrate on our kids but don't cancel the reservation. Our kids need to see us trying to work through things. Now, let's go tell Matty. We need to do this together, Mike. He needs us, not you and me, us." Polly said as she followed him out of the sanctuary, to destroy what was left of their son's life.


	13. Chapter 13

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 13

Mike felt like the worst father in the world. Matty didn't take the news about Tara well at all. Fortunately, he did do better with Polly there and so Mike was left to deal with their younger kids. He wanted to be there for Matty, but the young man was emotional and those emotions had to come out. Mike knew that wouldn't happen with him there.

When he walked back in with the kids, Polly was making spaghetti and Matty's favorite chocolate pie. He was sitting at the kitchen island, staring into space. Mike had warned the kids about Matty, not knowing what kind of shape Matty would be in. All four of the younger kids were visibly saddened by the news but as soon as they all walked in, Matty gave them a big smile. It wasn't completely heartfelt, but Mike's smiles hadn't exactly been genuine lately either.

Mikey had come out with Mike, not wanting to go to the after-school program that Grace had him enrolled in. Normally Mike wouldn't have gone against Grace's wishes, but Mike missed the little boy. He and Mikey had a special relationship and Mikey was cathartic. All the kids, including Matty headed into the living room to watch a movie and cuddle. Mike walked up behind Polly and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you for being here for him. It means a lot." Mike stated. He had both hands-on Polly's shoulders and was watching her make the noodles.

"I love Matty." Polly remarked.

"I know that you do. I was a little shocked with his reaction to the kids." Mike said as he massaged Polly's shoulders.

"He's a good big brother and uncle. He's hurting but he knows they need him. They will be who pulls Matty through this." Polly told him.

"Yeah he is. I wish I could do something to help him." Mike remarked.

"Just be there for him, Mike. You understand what he's going through, where Tara and that baby are concerned. Don't give him sympathy, give him empathy. Let him know, its okay to be mad and upset, to cry and to be sad and depressed around you. One of your failings where the boys are concerned, is that you tend to not handle their emotions as well. I don't think you do it intentionally and I think they've misconstrued things. I talked to him, told him that it was okay to be emotional around you. He is really struggling with 'What's next?'" Polly explained.

"Yeah, me too." Mike agreed. He walked around to the other side of the kitchen island and sat down on one of the stools.

"Just give it all time." Polly advised.

"Tom did tell me…remember Eric Miller? Apparently, he's coming for a visit and is willing to talk to Matty. He's a double amputee and has become a therapist. He works with veterans, but Tom said he is good with talking to Matty. I know that Matty won't go for an actual sit-down with a therapist. He needs it but it won't happen. So, I was thinking we'd do some sort of barbeque." Mike told her.

"That's a good idea. I really think he would do better in a situation like that. He has the idea that he won't ever accomplish anything now and everyone will have to take care of him. He needs to see someone who has attained success with a similar injury to his. Course, Miller didn't have a brain injury, did he?" Polly asked.

"No. I think that's frustrating him. Some of the simple tasks that he used to do with no problem, he needs help with now. Reading a menu or book? I am struggling with keeping his mind busy." Mike stated.

"Have you tried puzzles? Board games?" Polly suggested.

"He gets really flustered during board games. Its like he can't strategize anymore. Puzzles and maybe card games are a possibility." Mike remarked.

"Do the therapist think it'll get better?" Polly asked.

"Yes and no. He'll have to find a new normal. They do think he will be able to read again, to keep his temper in check, and to navigate society. He just thinks this is his norm." Mike explained.

"So, when were you figuring we would have the barbeque? I have my missions banquet Sunday." Polly reminded him.

"And Saturday is still date night? Maybe Friday?" Mike asked.

"Yes, Saturday is still date night and Friday will be the best day. I do have to set-up on Saturday for the banquet. And I have to cook on Saturday too." Polly stated.

"We can postpone our date? I don't want to but don't want you struggling." Mike asked.

"Its alright. I may need to make a pit stop though. I need a special paper plate and napkins. So, it'll be me, you, and the party supply store." Polly teased.

"That's fine. The girls tell me that they have steak at the sushi place?" Mike asked hopefully.

"Yeah, and chicken and shrimp. Not just sushi. They also have vegetables. You'll be fine." Polly said with a laugh. Mike's hatred of sushi was well-known in his family. Mike glanced into the living room and saw Mikey sitting on Matty's lap reading to him. He remembered when Matty was first learning to read. He would read to Mike every night before bed. Now he had to read to Matty. It wasn't fair.

"Good." Mike answered.

"Mike, as you've said, its okay to not be okay. His loss is also your loss. This can't be easy for you." Polly said as she came around the corner of the island and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, Mike put his face into her shoulder and just paused. He hadn't done that much.

"It isn't so much the baby. It's watching him suffer. I never wanted this for him." Mike commented softly.

"Me either but it is his reality. And ours. Mike, more than anything, he needs our love. Nothing else matters." Polly remarked.

"I know, even when he's being difficult." Mike remarked.

"Not unlike Gabby. Love her even when she isn't very likable." Polly stated.

"Difference is, Matty's situation is understandable. Lost leg, lost girlfriend, lost baby, lost scholarship, lost future and he thinks his family is lost. Gabby has no rhyme or reason for her behavior, other then being fourteen." Mike argued.

"I remember another fourteen-year-old who gave you fits at one point. You and she got through that and grew a beautiful relationship. There were several points that I really wondered about you two. And you know what, it got better when you stopped and listened to what Hannah was saying. When's the last time you sat down and talked to Gabby?" Polly asked.

"Quite a while. She won't be in the same room with me." Mike admitted.

"You are the dad. Force the issue. You also had to do that with Hannah." Polly stated with a smile. She bent down and gave him a short kiss that Mike wanted to prolong but her water was boiling, and she had supper to finish. She pulled away but patted Mike's cheek.

"I will say, it will be good to have you all here." Mike remarked.

"I had promised Matty spaghetti and didn't hold up to my end of the deal." Polly answered as she walked around the island. Mike took the opportunity and walked into the living room. Gabby was sitting on the other end of the couch then Matty and Mikey and Mike sat down next to her. Normally, Mike would have sat in his recliner, but Polly had made a point. Mike did notice that Matty's crutches were not within his reach. It was odd. Instead of remarking on it, he put an arm around Gabby. Surprisingly, she didn't draw away from it. Mike didn't say much, just pulled Gabby closer.

They sat for a bit, until Polly called the girls to set the table. Mikey had jumped off Matty's lap and Mike watched Matty struggle for his crutches. He got up and handed them to him.

"Who sit them so far away?" Mike asked.

"Gabby." Matty said simply as he struggled to get off the couch and Mike's blood started boiling.

"Gabby, what the hell were you thinking? He could have hurt himself!" Mike shouted into the dining room. Gabby looked at him in complete confusion.

"I…" Gabby started.

"Dad, I asked her…" Matty started.

"No. I am sick of this, young lady. You are completely self-involved. You don't care what everyone else is going through. It is only what is good for you. I am completely ashamed of you…" Mike continued.

"Mike, stop!" Polly yelled back. Gabby had sat down the forks and ran to her old bedroom with Polly at her heels.

"Dad, this will never work. You cannot stop being a good dad just to care for me. I will not be the blame for that. I will admit myself into a nursing home if it comes down to it. They are far more important." Matty scolded Mike as he struggled into the living room.

"I don't want that." Mike argued.

"Then figure it out. You have to find a happy median." Matty answered.

"Dad, I got this. Go in there." Rebecca answered as she put the noodles in a bowl. Mike took the offer and walked to the girl's old room. He could hear Gabby sobbing and Polly trying to comfort her. As soon as he peeked in, he knew he was in for it. Polly was holding Gabby and rocking her gently. She evil-eyed him while Gabby buried her face in Polly's shoulder.

"Mike, you cannot do this. This is most of the reason why I haven't just moved back in and this has further cemented me staying away. Every time something doesn't go right, you find someone to blame for it and you break them. You break their spirit. That is what you've done here. I hope you are proud of yourself." Polly stated and Mike knew he had just lost any hope of saving his marriage or family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 14

It was not a good night for Mike. Soon after supper, Polly packed up their younger four kids and took them with her. Matty was also emotional and when Mike tried to apologize to Gabby, but the young girl was simply too overwrought. Polly had spent most of the time that she was there trying to comfort her, but Mike had a feeling he wasn't the only one in for a rough night. The one highlight was that Rebecca and Charlotte both gave him hugs, and Tommy gave him a high five before they left.

Mike couldn't get a read off of Polly, other then that she was absolutely furious at him. He was made enough at himself. He just had to have a chance to fix things with Gabby. He hadn't meant to hurt her so badly and Polly had to understand that. He couldn't stand to lose either Gabby or Polly because of his stupidity or temper.

Matty went to sleep about eleven and Mike settled in his bedroom. He wasn't very sleepy and pulled out a photo album. It was from the time period when Mike and Polly were first married. One picture caught his attention; Gabby had had an ear tube surgery when she was about a year old. There was a picture of Mike holding her at the hospital and she was snuggled up on his chest. It made Mike wish he could back, back to when he was a better father, worthier of the kids he had. He pulled his phone out, knowing that Polly was still awake.

_"Is she okay?" Mike texted._

_ "No, Mike. She is not okay. You cut her deeply. My dad used to do stuff like this all the time and his words still haunt me. Now, you've done the same thing to my daughter." Polly responded, sharply. _

_ "She's my daughter too." Mike answered. His blood was boiling again. _

_ "Then act like it. You are the example for her on how a man is supposed to act. You aren't setting a good example. Good night." Polly answered. _

_ "Good night. I love you and the kids." Mike responded but knew he would not be getting a response back. _

Mike didn't sleep well at all and by four, was getting a headache due to trying to sleep. He got up, showered, shaved, checked on Matty and then started deep cleaning. He didn't know what else to do with himself. Before Matty even woke up, he started breakfast for him. For Mike, it was hard to only cook for two people. He had gotten used to fixing huge breakfasts for his kids and grandkids. It was highly unlikely that any of them would be there that day and besides, Matty had therapy that day.

His appointment was at ten and Mike was just getting his bandages fixed when the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting anyone and most of his friends would just walk in. He was shocked to see Kirk on the other side of the door. Why would the sheriff be visiting him?

"Mike, could you step out for a minute?" Kirk asked and then stepped away from the door so Mike could step on the porch.

"Sure, something about the wreck?" Mike asked.

"No. Uh…so, Missouri is a state where you can get an order of protection against someone for emotional abuse. Its shaky at best but can be done." Kirk started.

"Why do I need to know that?" Mike asked.

"Because you are being served. There are now four child order of protections against you. For Gabby, the twins and Charlotte. You cannot contact them in any manner or be within a hundred feet of them. At this point, Polly has not requested an adult order of protection against you. I would suggest not contacting her. It could make matters worse and the judge may very well dismiss them on that court date. I am honestly shocked she got them." Kirk said as he handed Mike a copy of the paperwork. Mike was completely heartbroken.

"I've never physically abused any of my kids and to my knowledge, have never emotionally abused them." Mike answered.

"Polly was very clear that you were not physically abusive and emotional abuse has a lot of definitions. My advice is, don't contact Polly. Let her come to you. It is hard but if you have any hope of these being dismissed, that is what you will have to do. Do you have an attorney?" Kirk asked.

"I…we have one." Mike answered.

"I suggest getting one of your own. If this is headed for a divorce and custody battle, you'll need one." Kirk answered before stepping off the porch.

"Does Grace know about this?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. She wanted to call you, but I wouldn't let her. I didn't want to put her or Ryan in the middle. I would imagine, she and Hannah will be contacting you soon." Kirk said before getting into his patrol vehicle. Mike took a couple deep breaths before walking back into the house. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain it to Matty. Matty's one bright spot was the kids and now, the kids had been taken away from him. Mike was mad at Polly, but not for what she had done to him. He was mad because she had taken one more thing from Matty. Some mother.

Matty's therapy went better than it had been, and they had begun talking about fitting him for a prosthetic. It gave Matty a little hope. Mike hadn't explained the orders of protection to him, not knowing even what to say. When Mike took Matty to fast food place for lunch instead of Maggie's, Matty looked at him suspiciously.

"Not Maggie's today?" Matty asked.

"No, son." Mike answered as they started the drive home. Mike had ordered them both cheeseburgers and onion rings and they would eat at the house.

"Dad, what's wrong? You've been quiet all day." Matty asked.

"Don't worry about it." Mike answered, a little too sharply.

"Was it something to do with Kirk being at the house this morning and that stack of paperwork that you carried back to your bedroom?" Matty asked. The kid was too observant.

"Yes. Polly had me served with orders of protection for the kids. I can't see or contact them." Mike answered. No sense in lying now.

"Orders of protection? Like, restraining orders?" Matty asked.

"Yeah." Mike said.

"Does that mean I can't see them?" Matty asked. Mike could hear the trace of emotion in Matty's voice and knew that Matty was hurting now too.

"You can see them, just not if I'm around. Kirk also suggested that I not contact Polly because it could make things worse. I suppose, if you want to see them, Hannah or Grace will have to help you." Mike explained.

"Don't you want to see them?" Matty asked.

"Of course, I do. The court date is two weeks from tomorrow, so hopefully we can work something out then." Mike said as he pulled into his driveway.

"Why did she do that?" Matty asked.

"I wish I knew, son." Mike answered. He got out of the truck and went around to help Matty get out. He wished he had the answers for Matty. All he knew was that it really hurt. As he helped Matty, he could feel the tension in the younger man's shoulders. Within two weeks, Matty had lost everything and Mike wasn't sure what good he was to him. Surely, someone else could do a better job caring for him.

"Would it help if I tried to talk to her, Dad?" Matty asked.

"Maybe, but it might make things worse too. I would like to see them at some point. I think the best action right now is no action. I get that that hurts, son, but it maybe for the best." Mike explained as he helped Matty up the porch steps.

"If…she drops them, will you and she get back together?" Matty asked.

"I don't know. A lot of water under the bridge that's been burnt." Mike told him as he unlocked the door.

"Do you still love her?" Matty asked simply.

"Actually, yes." Mike answered. It shocked him but he did.

"Then kill her with kindness. Don't react. She's expecting a reaction. If you have to communicate in the next two weeks, let it be cordial. You might miss the kids, but it might get them all back here, where they belong." Matty said.

"Hope you are right." Mike stated as he sat the food out.

"I think so." Matty said as he began eating. Mike followed suite, even though the food just didn't interest him. He needed to keep his strength up, because Matty still needed him, even if someone else could have done a better job.

After lunch, Matty fell asleep on the couch. Normally, Mike would have been cleaning or occupying one of his other kids. He felt lost. There were no calls from Grace or Hannah, and Mike was feeling a bit betrayed. He tried to convince himself that they were busy with work, kids, moving, and life in general but a phone call would have been nice. A little after two, the doorbell rang again. Mike was dreading it, figuring it was Kirk with an adult order of protection. He was surprised to see Alec on the other side. Mike glanced over at Matty and then stepped onto the porch.

"For whatever its worth, Maggie and I are not agreeing with Polly on this." Alec finally stated.

"I don't want to cause any issues between you all." Mike stated.

"Maggie is trying to get her to dismiss them. What happened with Gabby was not good but shouldn't cause this. Polly is stubborn, and she is a mama bear." Alec said as they both sat down in the rocking chairs.

"I know I screwed up with Gabby, and at first opportunity, I will be apologizing and trying to right my wrong. Just have to have the opportunity." Mike answered.

"Has Polly ever told you much about her and Maggie's parents?" Alec asked.

"Not a lot. She really doesn't talk about her parents a lot. I know they were hard on her." Mike responded.

"Well, James and Sarah were…difficult. They held Maggie and Polly to a very high standard and when the girls couldn't attain it, they just…dismissed them. They were mentally and at times, physically abusive. Maggie and I started dating when we were fifteen. Early on, I knew there were issues and Maggie brought Polly along to a lot of our dates. Maggie and I got married, partly to get her away from her parents. Polly was eight. As we had our kids, Polly spent a lot of time at our house, using the excuse of helping with the kids. She didn't like going home. Anyway, there were not thrilled that Maggie never went to college and settled down so fast. I was beneath them. Then, Polly went to college. They had dreams of her going to law or medical school and marrying a lawyer or doctor." Alec explained.

"Instead she become a pastor. I knew they had issues with her keeping Max." Mike stated.

"Yeah. She was raped and they thought that she had asked for it. Wanted her to abort Max. When she wouldn't, they wanted her to give him up for adoption. Again, Polly refused. She got through her master's program and moved back home when she was six months along. We had bought the restaurant and she moved into the apartment. Then she had Max and Sarah told the nurse that Polly would be giving Max up. Polly was asleep and thankfully, Maggie got it stopped. Not long after, James and Sarah were killed in a car accident. I don't think either Maggie or Polly ever grieved for them. If they did, they were grieving for what should have been." Alec told him.

"Look, I know I screwed things up with Gabby, but Polly knows, I love her, and I love my other kids. I understand the anger and frustration, but I think the orders of protection are a bit of a far reach. How is she explaining this to the kids?" Mike asked.

"I honestly don't know. She does know that you love them and would never physically harm them. I honestly think she is seeing a pattern in your behavior that is consistent with her own father. She wants to save the kids from that, and I think she is making a point." Alec explained.

"I know it sounds stupid, but I am not going to try and make contact with her or the kids. I am afraid if I push the issue, I'll never get them back. It is going to be a long two weeks and I am going to miss them. But more so then that, Matty is going to miss them. The kids are what is getting him through this, and I really wish Polly would think of that." Mike answered.

"It makes sense and while I am not supposed to be the messenger, I will tell the kids that you love and miss them. And I will make it clear to Polly, that the person she is really hurting is Matty. Let me ask, if you and she can get this resolved, as impossible as it seems right now, do you still love her?" Alec asked.

"Yes. And before you ask, I would give our marriage another shot. Just not sure she wants that now." Mike replied.

"You might be surprised. Just…stay like a duck. Calm and cool on the surface and paddling like crazy under the water…subsurface?" Alec said as he stood up.

"Yes." Mike answered as he stood up and shook Alec's hand. They parted ways, Mike into the house and Alec, to his vehicle.


	15. Chapter 15

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 15

Mike was not handling the time away from his younger kids well. He missed them and he missed his wife. Hannah had been in contact and was just busy moving and going to doctor's appointments with Henry. Grace had texted him asking if he was okay and saying that Andrew and Christa had summer colds, and she didn't want to expose Matty to it. Mike had to wonder if there was more to it then that, but for the time being, he would take his daughters' word for it.

He had also not heard anything from Polly. He had gotten Matty a replacement cellphone, since his had been destroyed in the accident, giving Matty the ability to talk to Polly or the kids without involving Mike. He knew that Matty had been in contact but didn't know what was said.

Alec and Tom had stopped by several times checking on him and Tom was having the barbeque with Miller at his house, giving Matty someone to talk to. Matty had fixated on trying to help Mike and despite missing the kids, was a bit more upbeat. The most that he knew was that Maggie was working overtime to convince Polly to drop the orders of protection.

Mike had not gotten an attorney, wanting to hope that he and Polly could still work things out. He had also left her name on their bank accounts. He had always managed their money but would not let Polly or his kids do without. He had noticed that on Monday, she had deposited her check into their account, rather then setting up her own account. On Thursday, Mike was paying bills when his cellphone rang. It was Polly.

_"Mike, my vehicle is broken down. I got it to the mechanic, but he said the transmission was going out. Said it isn't worth fixing since its so old." Polly said before Mike could even get a greeting out. _

_ "Where are you?" Mike asked. _

_ "The mechanic. And Maggie and Alec are in Springfield. I'm not sure what to do." Polly answered. _

_ "Okay. I'll bring you my truck so you have a vehicle, until we can find you one. I can drive Matty's car or Max's truck." Mike answered. He could hear the frustration is Polly's voice and it gave him the opening he had been hoping for. _

_ "Thanks. I…didn't intend on the transmission going out." Polly said._

_ "Not your fault. Its thirteen years old. Has over two hundred thousand on it. Was only a matter of time. I will get Matty packed up or see if he wants to stay home, and I'll be there." Mike told her before hanging up. _

"Matty, I need to go and pick Mom up. Her vehicle is broken down. I'm going to let her use my truck until we can find her something new. Do you want to go with or stay home?" Mike asked. He had been letting Matty stay home alone for short periods all week.

"Do I need to go with to keep the peace?" Matty asked.

"No. I'll be good, I promise." Mike stated.

"Remember, Dad, kill her with kindness. I wouldn't say a word about the protection orders." Matty said.

"Yes, son. Thanks for the advice." Mike teased while he grabbed his keys, wallet and phone. He left the house and headed to the mechanic that they used. Sure enough, Polly's vehicle was parked in the lot and he found her in the lobby, talking to their mechanic, George.

"Hey, Mike. So, the transmission is not completely out. Its well on its way and the motor is iffy too. I doubt you can get a good trade in on it. I can take care of it and send you a check?" George asked.

"Yeah that sounds good." Mike answered. Polly nodded in agreement.

"I've pretty well cleaned it out. Just needed help with Charlotte's booster seat. I can drop the title off tomorrow, George." Polly stated.

"That's fine." George answered and Mike followed Polly out. He quickly pulled Charlotte's booster out and installed it in his truck. They didn't talk at all and Polly drove him home. As they pulled into the driveway, Mike broke the silence.

"When do you want to try and find a new vehicle?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. I have to work tomorrow." Polly said.

"Do you want me to try and find something? Bigger, smaller?" Mike asked.

"Same size is fine. Why are you doing this?" Polly asked.

"Because you have my kids and you need a vehicle. Despite whatever you might think, I still care about you and I love my kids. Even still love you. I will let you know what I find out on a vehicle. Take care, and give the kids a kiss for me, please." Mike answered before getting out of the truck. He didn't want to argue with Polly. That was his normal route. If he had any chance of getting his wife and kids back, he needed to do things differently.

Matty was asleep on the couch when he walked in. Mike covered him with a blanket and patted his shoulder. Since Mike had been served, it was like Matty had done everything he could to help Mike, even though he was still hurting himself. It gave Mike a whole new respect for the young man.

Mike spent his afternoon looking at car dealership websites and making calls. He finally found a much newer model of the same SUV that Polly had had for years, within the budget that he had set. It was new and perfect. Mike put a hold on the vehicle and arranged to pick it up the next day. He just had to arrange for a ride there. He knew Grace had to work, so she was out. He decided to call Hannah, hoping she'd help.

_"Hey, sis." Mike greeted his second oldest. _

_ "Hey, everything okay?" Hannah asked._

_ "Yeah. Polly's SUV died today. I have one spotted but need a ride there tomorrow? You free? I'll spring for lunch." Mike asked._

_ "Yeah, Henry doesn't have any appointments tomorrow. I could use a break from cleaning the house. I'd have to bring him though, Sam started working the other day." Hannah answered. _

_ "That's fine." Mike agreed. _

_ "Dad, why? Most men in your situation would turn their backs." Hannah asked. She had been fairly angry at Polly, always being Mike's biggest advocate._

_ "Because I love her. Because I don't want my kids to do without. Because I want them back, including Polly. I typically would fight and argue with her, but by doing this; I hope that I am showing her that I can be different." Mike answered._

_ "I never thought you were that bad. Dad, you are a good husband and father. I don't know why Polly doesn't see it that way and I really don't see how you can get past this." Hannah argued._

_ "Sissy, you know better then anyone how terrible of a father I am. As far as getting past this, I just hope we can. I want to. The one thing I ask of you kids is that you support me. I understand you being frustrated with Polly, but there is a grain of truth to her claims and you know it. Now, I am sorry if you don't like that." Mike explained._

_ "Dad, you know that I support you. I just don't have the same perspective. I don't see how things can go back the way they were." Hannah stated. _

_ "They won't, but it might also come back stronger." Mike answered._

_ "True. If it does, you and she will have an amazing love story. Alright, what time do I need to be there to pick you and Matty up?" Hannah asked. _

_ "My meeting at the dealership is at ten." Mike answered. _

_ "Okay. Nine or just after?" Hannah asked. _

_ "Yep, sounds good. I love you, Sissy." Mike responded._

_ "I love you too, Dad. See you then." Hannah answered before hanging up. _

Mike walked back inside and smiled down at Matty who was starting to rouse. Matty typically experienced some phantom pains when he first woke up and there was nothing Mike could do to ease it. Mike hoped for a day when Matty could attain some sort of normalcy. Until then, all Mike could do was support him. The talk with Miller would do Matty a lot of good.


	16. Chapter 16

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 16

Mike had to laugh at Hannah in her newly bought sedan. From the time she was fourteen, she had been all about fast cars, nose rings and blue or pink strips in her dark-brown hair. She was a mom now, and those fast cars didn't work for a four-year-old, and whatever other kids that she and Sam either acquired or had on their own.

Getting Matty into the car was an experience, especially when he insisted on sitting in the back next to Henry, who was in a booster seat. Mike looked back at one point and Matty was coloring with Henry. It was sweet but made Mike a little sad, because Matty was going to forever grieve for a child he never had a chance to know. Even if he had other kids later in life, he would still grieve for the one he had lost. Matty, despite his age, would have been an amazing dad.

They got to the car lot and Mike began checking the SUV out. He drove it a short distance, checked the tread on the tires and other numerous things that he used to deem a vehicle safe for his family. Once he was satisfied with it, he texted Polly some pictures of it before signing any paperwork or handing over the cashier's check to the dealership.

_"It looks perfect to me. Expensive though?" Polly asked. _

_ "Within a budget. I moved some stuff around and it doesn't have a payment. If you are good with it, I'll sign the check over to them and take it. I'll get it tagged and insured this afternoon. I promised Hannah lunch for bringing Matty and I up here." Mike assured her._

_ "Go for it. Mike, thank you." Polly texted back. _

_ "Your welcome. I will call once I have everything done. May have to have you bring the truck to my house so I'm not too close to the kids." Mike answered. It pained him to say it, but he had to. He couldn't go to the parsonage. _

_ "Okay, no problem." Polly answered. _

Mike found the car salesmen, signed over the check, got temporary tags and loaded Matty up in the vehicle. Hannah and Henry were following him to a local barbeque joint for lunch. Hannah loved barbeque and it was Henry's first experience eating barbeque.

It was fun watching Henry eat his first barbeque. He was a huge fan of it and particularly liked the cornbread. What saddened Mike was how people looked at Matty. It was a strange mix of sympathy and curiosity. And unfortunately, Matty noticed it too.

"Dad, when we get done, can we go home?" Matty asked.

"Sure, but I promised Polly that I would get this vehicle tagged and insured." Mike agreed.

"Dad, I can just follow you to the house and stay with Matty until you get back from your errands." Hannah offered. They were walking to their vehicles and Mike had a hand in the middle of Matty's back as he navigated across the unlevel ground.

"I AM NOT AN INVALID!" Matty said loudly and angrily, just as his crutch went off balance and he fell into Mike.

"No one is saying that you are. You just need help sometimes." Hannah answered as Mike helped Matty rebalance himself. Mike had gotten used to Matty's frequent outbursts and had been lucky the past few days because Matty hadn't had one.

"Its okay, son. We'll get you home and you can stay there when I run my errands. No problem." Mike answered. He preferred that Hannah stay with Matty but wouldn't push the issue. They got to Polly's new SUV and Mike had to lift Matty into the passenger seat. Matty was exhausted.

"Dad, do you want me to follow you to the house?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah. He is most likely going to go to sleep but I would prefer someone be there with him. He's kind of off today." Mike admitted.

"I noticed. See you there." Hannah said as she gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. As always, Mike was thankful for Hannah. She might be slightly flighty, but she was genuine. Mike couldn't even say that about Grace at the moment. He had only heard from her once and it didn't seem like a good excuse. She and Polly were close, and Mike wasn't shocked that Grace felt conflicted. It just hurt.

Matty was quiet on the trip home and as soon as they got there, settled on the couch. He was asleep in no time and didn't argue at all about Hannah being there. It made it easier for Mike to make his exit and it did him good to have a bit of a breather, without worrying about getting back so Matty wasn't alone.

He got the vehicle insured and at the DMV, was waiting when Mark, Tara's dad walked in. He knew the man was angry and understood the anger, but he didn't really know what to say to him. He had known that Tara had had issues with her father that she had talked to Polly about a lot but had never really asked what was going on. Now, he was uncomfortable.

"What are you doing here, Slattery?" Mark asked loudly.

"Just tagging a vehicle." Mike said as he walked up to the desk. Thankfully the woman took the paperwork and began working quickly, obviously wanting to get Mike out of the situation.

"Must be nice to be able to afford that. I'm hoping they will let me transfer Tara's tags. We still haven't gotten an insurance check on her." Mark remarked.

"I'm sure its in the mail." Mike said sarcastically. They also hadn't gotten a check on Matty. They knew that the car insurance was going to be paying out a large amount of money for Matty's injury, but it would never be enough, and no amount would ever be enough to make a difference where Tara and her unborn child was concerned.

"Don't know. I can't afford a fancy lawyer like you." Mark remarked.

"I have my attorney checking into it because I am busy caring for my permanently disabled son. Mark, I am sorry for your loss. Tara was an amazing young woman and Polly and I would have been proud to welcome her into our family. I am familiar with the pain of losing a child and nothing will ever make sense again, but do you really think that Tara would want you to act like this? You are drunk, at one thirty in the afternoon. The girl I knew would have been beyond ashamed of you." Mike remarked. Thankfully, the clerk handed him the paperwork and Mike could leave. He had had the SUV put in Polly's name, that way if they ended up divorced, they didn't have to deal with a vehicle. The house belonged to Mike, having bought it before they married, so it would be about kids and money.

"You don't know anything about my daughter." Mark stated.

"Well, neither do you. Best of luck." Mike said. He hoped that Mark wasn't driving himself and couldn't see his vehicle anywhere around. Without a vehicle description, he couldn't call the Sheriff's Department. He drove home and as soon as he pulled in, he called Polly to let her know the SUV was at his house.

_"Okay, its tagged and insured. I had it titled in your name. The clerk said the title would be here in a week or so. I will put all the paperwork in the glove box and put the plates on. Do you want me to leave the keys under the driver's side floor mat?" Mike asked._

_ "I would like to see Matty." Polly replied. Mike thought about telling her no. If he couldn't see their kids, she shouldn't be able to see his son; but remembering that he wanted her and his kids back, he came up with a different response._

_ "He's had a rough day. It would probably do him some good to see you." Mike answered. _

_ "Okay, I'll be there in a bit. Thank you." Polly answered and hung up. _

Mike drove home, put the license plates on the SUV so that Polly wouldn't have to worry about it and walked inside. Matty was sound asleep on the couch and Hannah was getting Henry ready to leave.

"You didn't just take it to the church?" Hannah asked, as she indicated the SUV outside.

"No. I was afraid of getting too close to the kids. Polly is picking it up and going to see Matty at the same time." Mike answered.

"So, you can't see the kids, but Polly can see Matty whenever she wants? Dad, she's taking advantage of you. I know that you want to think this will all work out but if Polly loved you, she would have never had you served with restraining orders. Don't you think that it's odd she didn't get an adult order of protection against you? I think she wants to string you along and once you really get your hopes up, she will do something to hurt you again." Hannah questioned.

"You might be right, but I am going to still let her see him. Not just for Polly, but also because Matty needs her. Hannah, I understand why you don't believe me, but please; just trust me. I also would like you to try and forgive Polly and understand, part of this is on me. Polly does love you and she has been in your life for a long time. Don't be too mad at her. Now, I love you, but I don't want you to do something to mess this up. Thank you for helping me out today." Mike told her.

"Alright, just hope I'm wrong. I love you too." Hannah said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. She gathered Henry up and left.

Mike hesitated about letting Matty sleep. He definitely needed it but on the other hand, he also needed to see Polly. Mike decided to leave it up to Polly. He knew that Hannah might be right, but like her, hoped she was wrong. Until then, he could only hope for the best. About a half hour after Hannah and Henry left, Polly rang the door bell and Mike immediately opened the door for her.

"You didn't have to ring the bell." Mike told her.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure." Polly remarked.

"He's sleeping but I know he would love to see you. Go ahead and wake him up." Mike told her. He had handed her the keys and paperwork and she tucked them in her purse and gave him his truck key back.

"Okay." Polly said. She walked to the couch and knelt next to it and gently woke Matty up. Mike had intended on giving them privacy but also knew that Matty had a rough time when he was waking up.

"Polly, he is generally in a lot of pain when he first wakes up. Be ready." Mike told her.

"Okay…Matty, son?" Polly said as she gently woke Matty. He had opened his eyes and looked around in surprise. He was obviously surprised to see Polly. As she rubbed his shoulder, Mike noticed that her wedding band and engagement ring was still on her left hand. It honestly shocked him.

"Mom?" Matty asked.

"Yeah, I'm here. I was just picking up the new rig and your dad said I could see you. I've missed you." Polly said as Matty sit up on the couch. Mike wanted to remark that he missed his four younger kids but decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I've missed you too. And the kids." Matty remarked.

"I am sure we could work something out so that you can see her and the kids more often. I don't know exactly how, but we could figure something out." Mike offered.

"Yeah, something." Polly answered.

"Dad misses the kids…and you." Matty hinted. Mike thought about scolding him, but it was not a lie. Polly smiled at Matty and nodded.

"I know, son. I'm…working through some stuff. How are you?" Polly asked, changing subjects.

"Tired." Matty admitted.

"How's therapy going?" Polly asked.

"They're fitting him for his prosthetic next week. It will be a bit of a process but it's a step in the right direction." Mike told her.

"Literally." Matty joked. Polly had sat down next to Matty and Mike sit down in his recliner.

"I'd really like to be there when you take your first steps with it…" Polly remarked.

"I'll let you know once we know more. It takes a bit to make it. I know they are fitting him for it tomorrow and it could take a couple weeks before its there. I will know beforehand and will let you know." Mike explained.

"I appreciate that." Polly said as she leaned over and gave Matty a kiss on the forehead, indicating it was time for her to go.

"When can I see the kids?" Matty asked.

"I'll…figure something out. Soon, I promise." Polly answered as she stood up. She leaned back over and whispered something in Matty's ear, and Matty grinned from ear-to-ear.

"Yeah!" Matty answered. Mike wondered what was happening but wouldn't intrude.

"I will see what I can do. You have my number." Polly stated. Mike also stood up to walk her out to her vehicle. They left Matty sitting on the couch and walked out onto the porch.

"If anything is off about the SUV, let me know. The tires are in good shape and it is mechanically sound. I also filled it up, so you won't have to." Mike said as he opened the driver's door for Polly.

"Thanks. Mike…uh…I really am trying. I…know the protection orders were not the best course of action. I…was afraid of you doing the same things to the kids that my parents did to me." Polly stated.

"I…understand. How are they?" Mike asked.

"They miss you." Polly answered simply.

"Well, as Matty said; I miss them too, and you. I see you're still wearing your rings?" Mike said as he gestured at her left hand.

"Yeah. The first day, I tried to take them off, but they're stuck. Then I just stopped trying. You're still wearing yours?" Polly asked.

"Yeah, I haven't even tried to take it off. I'm…it sounds silly, but I'm not done with our marriage." Mike said.

"After everything?" Polly asked as she started the new vehicle up.

"Yeah, after everything. Normally, it's you that's full of hope and faith but I'm taking that role this time. Hannah made the remark that if you and I could make it through this, we would have an amazing love story." Mike answered.

"True. I'd better go. I'll be in touch." Polly said. Mike had noticed the hint of tears in her voice but decided to just let things play out.

"Can you give the kids a kiss for me? Tell them that I love them?" Mike asked.

"I do every night." Polly answered before putting the vehicle in reverse. Mike backed away and waved at her as she left. He wasn't sure why, but he had more hope then he'd had in a week. He just hoped that Hannah was wrong about Polly leading him on.


	17. Chapter 17

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 17

Mike didn't hear from Polly all week and was beginning to wonder if Hannah had been right. Was Polly only using him? And to make matters worse, he also hadn't heard from Grace. He could understand Grace being conflicted. She and Polly were close, and Polly was also Ryan's aunt, but it still stung. He was her father. He had always made sure that Ryan and Grace had childcare so they could go have free time. He loved his grandkids, but in some ways, he had sacrificed his own marriage to make sure that Ryan and Grace had the time they needed.

Despite how he felt where Polly was concerned, he had still made plane reservations and hotel reservations for her and Maggie to go to Max's graduation. He wasn't sure what she would do for child care and was afraid that it would feel like he was pressuring her to drop the protection orders. On Friday, Matty was at his therapy, the kids were at school, so Mike decided to drop by the church to give her the information on the flights and hotel. He had spoken with Maggie and knew that Polly had been scared she wouldn't be able to go. Polly was sitting in her office, reading something at her desk. He knocked on the door and she indicated for him to come in.

"Hey, I…um…uh…I knew I had promised to make the arrangements for you to go see Max graduate. I…here? I also arranged for Maggie to go with you. Graduation is on Thursday and I figured you would want to spend time with Max on Friday. You'll come home on Saturday. Leave Tuesday. Will give you some time with Maggie too." Mike said as he handed Polly the folder. He had noticed the shocked look on her face.

"I…had told him I wasn't sure I would make it. He was disappointed. Has he called you?" Polly asked as she indicated at one of her conversation chairs. She also stood up and sat down in the chair beside his.

"No. I figured it made him uncomfortable. I miss him, but I understand." Mike remarked.

"I told him to not hesitate to call." Polly remarked.

"Its alright. I just wanted to make sure that you got there for his graduation. I…didn't want it to seem like…I knew I had offered to watch the kids before and didn't want to seem like I was pressuring you to drop those orders. I even thought about having you take them along but wasn't sure…" Mike explained.

"Is that offer still in place?" Polly asked.

"Absolutely. Just isn't legal and besides, Gabby?" Mike mentioned.

"She's…hurting. I haven't had any more behavioral issues out of her, but…" Polly stated.

"But I broke her?" Mike asked.

"Put strongly, but yes. You did." Polly agreed.

"What if…doesn't help with the younger kids; but what if I got her a plane ticket? The hotel room has two queen sized beds. She could sleep with you or Maggie. I did just get the one room but… If you could do one thing for me? I'm already planning on making sure you have plenty of spending money, but could you spoil her?" Mike asked.

"Might help, especially if she knows that its from you. She…cries a lot. Maggie told me I needed to take her to the doctor. Maybe get her some sort of anti-depressant. I will only do that as a last resort." Polly explained.

"I hope…she knows that I am sorry and that I do love her." Mike remarked.

"I tell her, but…maybe this is where I should drop those orders. Maybe, it needs to come from you. I don't know. I do think that she misses you a lot, despite everything." Polly stated.

"Well, I will happily talk to her, but I am not going to pressure you. There isn't anything I want more then to have those orders dropped." Mike said as he stood up. Polly also stood up and grabbed his arm before he left.

"If I do…this sounds selfish, but what about me? Mike, I can understand that you would be hurt and angry…" Polly asked. She still had ahold of his arm and Mike wondered if she was needing the physical contact. He thought about it, thought it was a bad idea, but pulled her into a hug. Polly just kind of melted into his chest.

"We do what we were talking about. We…date? Fall back in love. I could ask that you move back in immediately but…I think we need that time. And I think the kids need it too." Mike remarked as he held Polly. He could hear her crying and could feel his t-shirt growing damp from her tears.

"You'd do that?" Polly finally asked as she pulled away. Mike leaned down and grabbed a tissue for her.

"I would. I…want my wife back. And my kids. I am afraid if we rushed it, whatever was broken, and I haven't figured out what it was yet, we'd get right back there. So, I think falling back in love is the best option. I still love you, but that…spark, is what Hannah called it, is gone. I want it back. I don't know how else to get it back." Mike stated.

"Part of what was broken was with me. Maybe even most of it." Polly remarked.

"I think if nothing else, all this? The separation, the orders of protection, Matty's accident, Tara and their baby? I think it has caused both of us to look inward a little. We've had a lot of wake-up calls." Mike stated.

"True." Polly agreed.

"I do really need to go get Matty. He's at therapy. They fit him for the prosthetic Wednesday, and it should be in within two weeks. I will let you know." Mike told her.

"Oh, please do. I have been texting with him some, but sometimes the responses are a bit…confusing. He's still having trouble reading?" Polly asked.

"Yeah, I told him to do the talk-to-text, but he's stubborn." Mike stated.

"Hmm, wonder where that came from." Polly teased.

"Hey, have you talked to Grace? She hasn't…right after I was served, she texted me that Andrew and Christa had summer colds and she didn't want to expose Matty to that. I haven't heard much from her since. I've called her and texted. Yesterday, I called her, and she denied it. I understand why she would be conflicted but…its odd." Mike asked.

"She is conflicted. We can both agree that there have been times that you have struggled with her. She…I really don't mean to hurt you, but she agrees that you are emotionally abusive. I am not even sure I agree with that term in regards to you but Grace is…I don't know. I will talk to her. Has she been talking to Matty?" Polly asked.

"No. That's what bothers me. I can understand her being conflicted and agree with you, but Matty and Grace have always had an unusual relationship. Matty needs her. Besides, and I don't mean this harshly…if she felt I was that terrible of a father, why did she have no problem leaving her kids with me?" Mike asked.

"It is a good question. Mike, she does love you. Please, don't think otherwise." Polly pleaded.

"It just hurts. And I'm sure Hannah hasn't been the most gracious where you're considered?" Mike asked.

"She's hostile but I expected it. Hannah is your biggest advocate. She hasn't been terrible, just off." Polly explained.

"I'll talk to her again. I've told her that you love her." Mike promised.

"I do. So, you talk to Hannah, I'll talk to Grace, and see about getting those orders dropped?" Polly asked.

"Just as long as you don't feel pressured. I will see about getting another plane ticket too." Mike asked.

"Sounds good. Mike, thank you. You really don't know how much I appreciate this." Polly stated.

"Your welcome. I only wish I could go with. Tell Max to call me anytime." Mike said as he opened her office door.

"I will." Polly said with a smile. Mike nodded at her and walked out, feeling a lot better about certain things then he had in a couple weeks, but also feeling terribly about Grace and Gabby. Both of his girls tended to be a bit on the dramatic side, but it hurt. Gabby being in such pain bothered him and he wasn't sure he could solve all the problems where she was concerned, but Grace doing what she was doing really hurt. But he and Grace were good at one thing, hurting one another.

Mike drove to the therapist and picked Matty up. Thankfully, Matty was in a good mood and seemed upbeat. They went to the grocery store and got the needed items for the barbeque at Tom's. Mike considered inviting Polly and his kids but wasn't sure how Tom would feel and wasn't sure if she would have the protection orders dropped by the next day. He could hope but it was Friday afternoon and she had only said she would see about dropping them. The judge might not agree, and Polly might have been on the fence. He couldn't get his hopes up. When he got home, there was a packet of papers attached to his door.

Mike helped Matty up the steps, got the groceries in and put away before he read the papers. The packet was the dismissal notices for the protection orders. Polly had asked for the dismissal and the judge granted them. Mike could have jumped for joy but Matty was sound asleep on the couch. He decided to see about Polly and the kids coming for dinner. He even though about extending the invitation to Grace, Hannah and their families and as much as he loved them, he didn't need their drama. He didn't need Hannah's open hostility towards Polly or whatever Grace had going on. He grabbed his cellphone and sent a text to Polly to make the invitation.

_"Thank you. You have no idea how much that packet of papers meant to me. I would really like to drive straight to your house and see the kids, but Matty is resting. Would you and the kids like to come over for dinner? I'll grill." Mike texted._

_ "That sounds good and the kids are excited to see you and Matty. Anything I can bring?" Polly asked._

_ "I am out of hamburger buns and maybe something for dessert?" Mike asked._

_ "Okay, no problem. Five o'clock?" Polly responded._

_ "Anytime." Mike answered. _

Mike prepared all the food for the barbeque, cleaned the house from top to bottom and waited for Matty to wake up. As excited as Mike was, Matty would be more so. About the time Matty started rousing, Polly pulled in. Mike really needed to stay inside with Matty due to his pain level, but he stepped out on the front porch. Charlotte was the first to get to him, and he immediately picked her up and was hugging her.

"Oh, baby; I've missed you." Mike whispered.

"Daddy, you've got tears?" Charlotte asked. The other kids were helping Polly with the groceries. He hoped they would be as receptive to him. He smiled at Charlotte and nodded.

"Yeah, I really missed you guys. I had better go back in with your brother. Hey, Polly?" Mike hollered towards his wife. She turned towards him and smiled. "I need to go back in with Matty. He's waking up." Mike stated and she nodded. Mike carried Charlotte in with him. Matty was sitting up on the couch and looked disoriented but shocked to see his youngest sister.

"Matty!" Charlotte yelled and Mike sit her on her own feet. She immediately ran for Matty and he hugged her tightly. If Mike wasn't crying before, he was definitely crying now. As he watched them, Polly came in with Gabby and the twins, carrying the groceries. Gabby's arms were free, and Mike wasn't sure what he was expecting to happen but Gabby rushing for him and throwing her arms around him wasn't it. He expected an angry outburst but instead had a soaked t-shirt for the second time that day.

"Mike, why don't you step outside with her?" Polly suggested. Mike nodded in agreement. He knew that he needed to spend some time with his twins too, but hopefully they understood. He kept his arm around her and walked her to the porch swing. As soon as he got her sit down and sat down beside her, she was crying on his chest again.

"I am so sorry, sweetie. So, so sorry. I love you so much. Please don't cry." Mike said into Gabby's blonde hair. He could tell that she was trying to calm herself. He kissed the top of her head and waited.

"It hurts…" Gabby finally said into his chest.

"I know, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you like that…" Mike started.

"You always mean what you say." Gabby argued.

"True. Okay. How about this, I said it and I regret it, deeply?" Mike stated.

"Are you?" Gabby asked. She had finally set up and was facing Mike with her knee drawn up.

"Am I what?" Mike asked. He felt things going downhill.

"Ashamed of me? That night you said you were ashamed of me. Said I was self-involved and only cared about myself. Mom stopped you before you said much else. I know I'm not your kid but…" Gabby questioned.

"Gabby, that never mattered to me. I've known you since you were six months old and DNA never mattered. I love you. As far as being ashamed of you, yeah, I said it and I shouldn't have. I regret those words and always will. You have a choice to make. Whatever happens between Mom and I, I will always love you and I will always take care of you, but you have a choice. You can choose to forgive me or not. Regardless of what you decide, I'm here." Mike stated. He really didn't know what else to say.

"But are you?" Gabby persisted.

"Ashamed? No. Disappointed, sometimes. The two are not always alike. And there are times that you do things that makes me so, so proud. You are fourteen. It's a weird age and there are all kinds of things going on in your head and body. Confusing things. I forget that sometimes. It is not your fault. The days that I am proud of you far outweigh the days that I am disappointed in you." Mike answered.

"That's kind of what Mom said too." Gabby admitted.

"Gabby, it is your choice. I am not going to pressure you and I promise I am not a perfect father, but I do love you. That won't change. You can take time and think about it if you want. Like I said earlier, I don't know what is going to happen between Mom and me. We are going to go on some dates. Just her and I. Figure out what is going on. You have time." Mike explained.

"Can…you do things with all the other kids. Just you and them. Its been forever since you and I did." Gabby hinted.

"I didn't think you wanted to spend time with your old dad anymore?" Mike asked.

"I did but you didn't ask, either." Gabby pointed out.

"Okay. I will see what I can do. I'll talk to your mom. I promise, you and I will go and do something together too." Mike answered as they both stood up. He put his arm around Gabby and kissed the top of her head. She nodded up at him and they walked through the door. Polly was working in the kitchen and the kids were all in the living room. Mike walked in the kitchen and grabbed the burgers and hot dogs that needed grilled and Polly followed him out.

"How'd that go?" Polly asked as Mike put everything on the grill.

"Not terrible, but I am going to have to give her some one-on-one time." Mike stated.

"Oh, if Matty is a factor, I can help?" Polly offered.

"Thanks. I also want to block out some time with you but with Grace…I don't know." Mike admitted.

"I don't expect anything formal. And I have a lunch meeting with Grace tomorrow. I will talk to her. What's your plans for tomorrow?" Polly asked.

"Have that barbeque at Tom's. Miller will be there to talk to Matty." Mike reminded her.

"Oh, good. You know, we could just move it here? It's bigger." Polly suggested.

"I'll talk to Tom. He might want to. I'll let you know. I want to give Miller plenty of time to talk to Matty. You understand?" Mike asked.

"I do. You are a good dad." Polly answered.

"Don't say that to Grace. She'd disagree." Mike joked. He had put his arm around Polly, and she had an arm around his waist. It was casual and easy. He thought about leaning over and kissing her but didn't want to push his luck. She might not be there yet.

"I will do what I can." Polly said. Mike nodded down at her and before he realized what was happening, she had pulled his face closer to hers and landed a kiss on his lips. Before she had him served, her kisses had been full of passion and sexual tension, but this kiss was sweet. Sweet and welcome. Mike shut the grill lid while they were still kissing and wrapped his arms around Polly. Finally, they both took a breath and he kissed her forehead. "That was nice. I wasn't sure how you would feel about kissing me after everything." Polly said.

"I've missed those kisses. More then you could ever know." Mike admitted.

"I'll remember that." Polly said with a smile. At that point, Mike would have let the burgers and hot dogs burn, because he pulled her in for another kiss, which Polly was very receptive to. There was a lot to work out, but for now, nothing mattered.


	18. Chapter 18

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 18

It was the happiest night that Mike had had in a couple weeks. The surprise was Polly and the kids staying the night. Polly even slept in their bed, albeit with Charlotte between them, but it was a huge gain for Mike. He had wondered if they were rushing things a bit, but he didn't really care. All their clothes were at Polly's house and something about seeing Polly in one of his t-shirts was very amusing to Mike. It would have even been a bit sexy to Mike, if it wasn't for their four-year-old that was between them.

"Just a thought, I really like seeing you in this t-shirt." Mike teased as they tried to settle down. Getting the kids calmed down and in bed had been a trick.

"Just this shirt or any t-shirt?" Polly asked with a grin.

"Any of my shirts." Mike answered.

"Ah. I see. If I had known that all these years, I would have not spent so much money for sexy lingerie to interest you." Polly commented. Mike checked to make sure that Charlotte was sleeping before he answered. Thankfully, she was snoring softly.

"I don't remember any lingerie other than from our wedding night." Mike answered.

"The mood really didn't present. Just stayed in a drawer." Polly replied.

"Where is it now?" Mike asked.

"Back at my house. I…don't know why I kept it and I don't know if either of us is ready for that after the past couple weeks. Especially you after what I did." Polly answered.

"True. Maybe…once we figure things out, we can plan a night away. Or a weekend? We haven't done that since…when Hannah was sick?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. It has been a while and that weekend got cut short." Polly stated.

"Yeah, but it isn't the last time we made love. We have her to prove that." Mike remarked as he pointed at Charlotte.

"True but its nice to have a night to ourselves. We don't have to worry about the kids too much, can eat what we want and do what we want." Polly stated.

"I agree with that. I promise, we will do something." Mike answered. Had it really been that long since he had taken Polly out? No wonder they had issues.

"It'll be nice. Right now, a dinner out sounds good too." Polly said with a smile.

"Yes, we will definitely do that. I need to figure out what to do with Gabby." Mike remarked.

"I have a suggestion for that. She had shown me a brochure for a charity thing. She loves architecture and they are having this tour of old homes. She really wants to go, but I have been trying to save money and didn't want to pay for the tickets. The money goes to the children's hospital so its for a good cause. It starts on Sunday at 2 pm, so you would be able to take her after church. Maybe out for dinner after? I can stay here with Matty and the other kids. I have the brochure at my house and can make the call in the morning to get the tickets?" Polly asked.

"That sounds great. I did text Tom and he agreed that moving the barbeque here would be a good bet. My question is, should I invite Grace, Hannah and their families?" Mike wondered.

"Honestly, Mike; I don't think it is a good idea. I agree that we need to make amends with them, but we need to do it on our terms without a lot of witnesses. Matty needs the time with Miller and needs the privacy. I am afraid he won't get it if everyone is here. I am still planning on having my lunch meeting with Grace, and hopefully I can get through to her." Polly explained.

"I don't really know what to do where she's concerned. At least with Hannah, she will respect my decisions. Grace, not so much." Mike answered. He had thought he had been doing good with Grace, but apparently not.

"I realize Grace can be difficult at times and hard to love, but you have to love her, Mike. That is the part of the equation that can never change, no matter what. We'd better get to sleep." Polly remarked.

"I know. There is something wrong with all this, hang on?" Mike said before gently lifting Charlotte up and maneuvering her to his other side so that Polly could sleep with her head on his chest. She smiled at him but shook her head.

"I'm all for this, but can you take your shirt off? Charlotte won't care." Polly asked. Mike raised up enough and complied. Polly settled on his chest and Charlotte cuddled up in her sleep. Granted, Mike would have preferred to have the bed to himself and Polly, but having Charlotte there kept them from hurrying things that didn't need to be hurried.

They both quickly fell asleep and slept better then they had in weeks. Thankfully, Matty had a good night too. Typically, Mike was woke up with Matty needing help with something through the night and even had a baby monitor set up. Mike had realized that he had missed the time in Matty's life that would have required a baby monitor and had missed Matty's first steps, but within a few weeks, would be witnessing Matty take his first steps with his prosthetic. He also had to help Matty with his basic needs, like showering. It wasn't quite the same, but it was an odd turn in events.

After breakfast, Polly and the kids went on their way, with a promise that they would be back for the barbeque. Miller was coming over about three with the excuse of bring Tom's supplies and would speak with Matty then. Mike had the feeling that he was also going to be counseled. Normally, he would balk; but maybe it was needed? Polly had even made a comment about talking to someone.

Their day was calm, and Mike spent the day working on things for the barbeque. At one, his phone rang, and Hannah was on the other side. Mike thought about not answering, but if nothing else, his daughters deserved honestly.

_"Hey, Dad; we're working on the house and Sam is needing to borrow your tall ladder. Can I come by and get it?" Hannah asked as soon as Mike greeted her._

_ "Absolutely but in your car?" Mike asked. _

_ "Oh…and his SUV is too small, isn't it? We didn't think about that." Hannah said. _

_ "Its okay. You can take my truck and leave your car." Mike answered. _

_ "That works. You're in a good mood?" Hannah asked. _

_ "Yeah. Polly dropped the orders of protections." Mike stated. _

_ "That's good. Has she let you see the kids?" Hannah answered. Mike decided to nip things in the bud. Polly loved Hannah and didn't deserve the open hostility despite everything._

_ "Sis, I have seen the kids and in fact; they spent the night here. Now, having said that, I need you to remember that Polly loves you. I get that you are upset that she hurt me, but there was a lot at play, and I have a lot of room for improvement. You are proof positive of that. Not telling you that I love you for fourteen years. Barely having anything to do with you. I was falling back into those habits and didn't realize it. If nothing else, Polly gave me the wakeup call I needed. Yes, it hurt like hell, but it made me realize that I was a lucky man and needed to act like it. Polly also has a lot going on. She's also working through some stuff. What she needs now is for you to forgive her for hurting me. If you can't do that, as much as we all love you, I need you to steer clear right now." Mike explained. He couldn't believe he was giving Hannah an ultimatum and hoped it didn't blow up in his face, but he didn't know what else to do. _

_ "Are you back together?" Hannah asked. _

_ "No. Like I said, we are both working through things. And before you ask, she did stay here last night and she did sleep in my bed with me, but Charlotte was with us." Mike answered. He and Hannah had always had an open relationship. _

_ "I see. Well, as long as she doesn't hurt you again like this, I will…be okay with her. How long does working things out take?" Hannah asked. _

_ "I don't know. I need to date her again. It has been a long time and I have not been the most attentive. I also need to spend some one-on-one time with Gabby. Sunday afternoon, I'm taking her to an architectural tour; out for dinner. Otherwise, I have no idea what to do with her." Mike commented. _

_ "Oh, I loved our Sunday afternoon outings! Gabby likes ethnic food. She was asking us about Indian food. She knew we had spent some time in India. Might dress nice, do the tour and take her out for supper at one of those places. Better then sushi?" Hannah teased. Mike was a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Ethnic food really wasn't his thing, but if he wanted to bond with his fourteen-year-old; it was going to have to be. _

_ "No monkeys?" Mike asked. _

_ "Monkeys? No, Dad. Gross! Where did that come from?" Hannah asked. _

_ "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I do like curry." Mike answered. _

_ "There you go. So, I will be by a little later for the truck and ladder. Thanks, Dad." Hannah said. _

_ "Thank you, sweetie. Thanks for giving Polly another chance. She does love you a lot." Mike answered. _

_ "I never doubted that, but my thing is, she needs to love you a lot and her behavior was telling me she didn't." Hannah answered._

_ "I think she does, and she told me that much this morning." Mike answered. _

_ "Alright, I'd better go before Henry paints the bathroom. Love you." Hannah stated. _

_ "I love you, too. I'll have things ready." Mike answered and Hannah hung up. _

Matty was resting, so Mike went out, put his ladder in his truck, along with some painting supplies that Sam and Hannah might need but wouldn't ask for. He needed to take some time and visit their new house. He didn't even know where it was, other then on the next neighborhood over from Grace. It didn't say much for his parenting skills that he had one daughter who wouldn't speak to him, another one moving into a new house that he hadn't seen, a son that was hurting as badly as Matty and having the issues he was having with Gabby.

At three, Miller pulled in. Mike noticed that he was wearing shorts so Matty would be able to see the prosthetics. Like Mike, Matty wasn't sure how they would work, but it might help him to see someone actively wearing them. As soon as Matty got out of the truck with the bags of supplies from Tom, Mike shook his hand.

"Thank you for this, Miller. Matty doesn't know about you being a counselor, by the way." Mike said as they walked to the house. Mike had noticed that Miller's pace was no different then his own and he didn't even have much of a limp.

"Oh, no problem. I actually wasn't going to say much about that. Was going to talk about the marathon I just ran and my basketball team. I also coached my son's little league team this year. Stuff like that. Normal stuff. I could use a bunch of psycho-babble on him, but it would never work." Miller explained.

"Okay. Do I owe you anything?" Mike asked and Miller chuckled.

"Not in the least. Due to the recommendations that you and Tom wrote, I was able to get the top of the line care and my education. Besides, even though Matty isn't a veteran; he is the son of a veteran and a friend. I have a duty to act, but more then that, I need to." Miller stated.

"Thank you, his mother and I appreciate this more then you could ever know. Did you know about his girlfriend and unborn child?" Mike asked.

"I did. While I don't have a lot of experience with that sort of loss, I have plenty of experience in the terms of survivor's guilt; as do you." Miller answered.

"Alright. We'd better get inside. He's had a nap, but he doesn't get tired easy." Mike warned as they walked into the house. Matty was sitting on the couch and looked at Miller in shock. Before Mike could make an introduction, because he wasn't sure if Matty remembered Miller, Matty spoke up.

"You drove yourself here, with those?" Matty said, pointing at Miller's prosthetic legs.

"Yep, I drive all the time. Although, I will admit, a clutch is hard to operate, but I've done it." Miller explained.

"So, I could drive my car again?" Matty asked. Mike groaned inwardly. The difference was that Matty had also had a brain injury; but he choose not to vocalize that.

"Matty, do you remember Eric Miller? I served with him on the James. He's been here a couple times for reunions? He is visiting Tom and Sasha and we are having them for a barbeque tonight. He and his wife and their kids…" Mike started.

"You have a wife and kids?" Matty asked. Miller and Mike exchanged a look and Miller made his way to the living area where Matty was.

"I do. We met before this happened, married after and we have four kids. We just barely knew one another beforehand." Miller explained.

"I'll put this stuff over here. Sweet tea, Miller?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, that's good." Miller said. Mike put the items in the kitchen and got both Miller and Matty glasses of sweet tea.

"I think I will run over to Polly's, if that's okay?" Mike asked. He most wanted to give Matty the time to talk to Miller and he wouldn't if Mike was there.

"Perfectly fine. If I need something, I'll call." Miller stated. Matty just nodded at him in response.

"Okay. Make yourself at home. There's food and more sweet tea if you want it. I'll be back in an hour or so." Mike stated as he grabbed his ballcap, phone, keys and cellphone. Both men nodded at him and Mike left. Part of him wanted to stay, but it was better that he didn't. Hopefully, he would be welcome at Polly's. Before he pulled out of his driveway, he called her.

_"Hey, Miller is at the house talking to Matty and I wanted to give them some privacy. Can I come over?" Mike asked. _

"_Sure. I have apple dumplings fresh out of the oven." Polly stated. _

_ "Sounds good. Be there in a minute." Mike answered before hanging up. He remembered that she had had a lunch meeting with Grace, but he had forgot to ask how it had gone. _

Five minutes later, he pulled up to the parsonage. He remembered years before, visiting Polly there when they were engaged. It was definitely a throwback. He wasn't sure rather to knock on the front door or not, so he tapped on it twice and stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?" Mike asked. Polly was in the kitchen that was right off the entryway.

"Of course." Polly said with a smile. She had straightened her hair and was wearing the skort and tank-top. Polly was well into her forties but looked much younger. She had struggled with her weight for years, but Mike loved her figure. "Checking me out again?" Polly teased.

"Honestly, yes. You look amazing. Where are the kids?" Mike asked.

"Outside in the back getting some fresh air and running some energy off while Charlotte is napping. She isn't happy that she can't stay at your house again tonight." Polly explained.

"Oh, she could; but you don't want to break her routine?" Mike asked. The one thing they had noticed with Charlotte was that deviating from her scheduled bugged her. Mike sat down on the other side of the kitchen island, not wanting to press his luck with a kiss.

"Exactly. You forget something?" Polly stated. Mike immediately began trying to figure it out. Should he have brought her flowers or something?

"Uh…flowers? I didn't stop for flowers!" Mike said.

"Oh, my goodness, no. I don't expect flowers every time that I see you. I do expect a kiss, though." Polly said as came around the corner of the island and landed a kiss on Mike's lips. It didn't last nearly enough in Mike's opinion, because Gabby and the twins came in the back door.

"Did you get the tickets for Gabby's tour Sunday?" Mike asked quietly.

"Yes. Hey, Gabby?" Polly called for the fourteen-year-old; who walked in like she was afraid she had done something wrong.

"Yeah?" Gabby asked, all while biting her bottom lip.

"So, that tour that you wanted to go to on Sunday? I talked to your dad and he's going to take you. I'll stay with Matty." Polly told her simply.

"And Hannah mentioned to me that you were asking her about Indian food. I know there is an Indian restaurant up there, unless you want to go somewhere else?" Mike asked.

"No, Indian food sounds good!" Gabby said before giving both Mike and Polly a hug. After she and the twins went to their rooms; Mike finally asked about Grace.

"How did the lunch meeting go?" Mike asked.

"You know Grace. She gets an idea and it sticks for a while." Polly commented, telling Mike that it hadn't gone well.

"Until she needs something." Mike answered.

"Well, her birthday is coming up next week. My suggestion is, make sure you send her a nice floral arrangement and maybe some sort of piece of jewelry. Otherwise, don't push. She knows that I've dropped those orders, that we have talked, and you've seen the kids, she also knows that we spent the night last night. As badly as it hurts, just wait it out." Polly told him. Mike didn't like the answer, but he also knew that pushing it would only push Grace further away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 19

Mike could only hope that seeing that Miller was living a normal life wouldn't end up defeating Matty. Matty's brain injury showed itself at the worst possible times. He had been pretty even tempered before the accident but tended to lash out now, mostly at Mike and Mike preferred that to Matty lashing out at his other loved ones. They had also discovered that Matty had forgotten how to write, button his shirts and tie his one shoe. There were times that Mike felt like he was dealing with a three-year-old, not an eighteen-year-old that had the tiger by the tail a month before.

Everyone was visiting down at the dock while Mike manned the grill. He was allowing himself a rare beer. He had stopped drinking years before and very rarely drank. He was always afraid that it would become a habit again. Courtney had come up to use the restroom, but on her way back down to the dock, she stopped by the grill to talk to Mike.

"I did a lot of Eric's after care, its exhausting. How are you doing?" Courtney asked.

"I'm okay." Mike lied.

"I'll call BS on that. I wasn't okay and there are still times that it bothers me. They don't tell you that the prosthetics can cause blistering no matter how well its fitted. Eric can never see to treat them, so I have to. That bothers me. You will find something that really bothers you too. My guess is, you've already found it. What is it?" Courtney asked.

"Showers. I shouldn't have to help him with his showers. I also have to read to him and he can't even sign his own damn name. All because of a drunk!" Mike raged quietly.

"Do they think he will relearn to read and write?" Courtney asked.

"Seem to. I'm not holding my breath. When we had Charlotte and she was healthy and seems to be high functioning. We knew that she might require care her entire life and we made provisions for that. Neither of us ever thought that we would need to make the same provisions for Matty." Mike said.

"Do you resent him for getting hurt? There came a point during Eric's recovery that I was so tired, I wished that he had just died. I remember thinking that if I heard Eric call my name just one more time, I was going to lose it." Courtney stated.

"I love Matty." Mike said simply.

"I don't doubt that, but you love the Matty that you had a month ago. Do you still love that one down there? Being a caregiver is a lot harder then people think. His needs come before if you eat, drink, shower or sleep. They will come before your other kids and relationships. What you do for him will become an act of duty, not love. And you will have to learn to balance it. The biggest thing I can tell you is that Matty not only needs his caretaker, but he really, really needs his father. He has been through a lot, more then Eric went through. No one expects you to be okay with this. No one would be." Courtney stated before walking away. She had made several points.

Mike finished cooking the meat and carried everything down to the dock where everyone was. Polly had set up the picnic table and before long the kids all had their food and was eating at the side of the pool. The adults all ate at the table. The conversation was light and happy. Matty was upbeat and still talking to Miller.

Everyone went on their separate ways after Miller gave Matty his phone number and reminded him to take his time. Mike helped him up the steps to his patio while Polly cleaned up. Matty was exhausted and had voiced wanting to go to bed. Knowing that Polly was planning on going back to her own house, Mike moved Matty towards the shower so he could get cleaned up. Matty was able to undress himself and Mike helped him into the walk-in shower.

Mike had a couple minutes before Matty needed help, giving him enough time to kiss Polly and the kids goodbye. He wished that they would stay overnight again but knew better then to push. They left and Mike helped Matty to his bed, so that Mike could change Matty's bandages. Matty had leaned against Mike's pillow and was barely keeping his eyes open.

"Do you want to try and go to church tomorrow? Might see Grace." Mike asked. What bothered Mike more about Grace not talking to him was that she was also not talking to her little brother.

"Maybe. I'm just so tired." Matty remarked.

"Okay. We will see how you feel in the morning. Will you be okay tomorrow afternoon while I take Gabby out?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. You need to spend time with the other kids. You can't neglect them to take care of me. I'm not worth it." Matty said simply. Mike was struck by his words and stopped bandaging, putting his hand on Matty's shoulder.

"Matty, this is not permanent. I realize it seems like it is, but it isn't. You have so many people that love you, including me. It will get better." Mike tried to comfort Matty.

"I just wish that people would stop fighting. You and Mom are doing better but now Grace isn't coming around. I miss her." Matty said.

"I know you do, son. So do I. I know Polly talked to her today and Tuesday is her birthday. I'm thinking that I'm going to order her flowers and maybe get her some sort of piece of jewelry." Mike told him, hoping to appease him.

"That would be nice. She told me once that she wished that she had a locket like Hannah's." Matty said. Years before, Grace had told Mike that she didn't want a locket but maybe it was time to get her one. Mike had gotten Hannah hers as a way to make up for an argument.

"I'll see what I can do. Maybe Gabby would help me pick one out." Mike said simply as he finished Matty's bandages. "Do you want a pain pill?" Mike asked.

"I'm not in pain. Just so tired." Matty said.

"Want me to help you up so you can go to bed or do you want to stay in here? You know it doesn't bother me." Mike said.

"Can't I just stay here?" Matty asked.

"You bet." Mike said as he pulled the blanket around Matty and helped him settle to sleep. Mike still had somethings to do before he could go to sleep, but he felt the strange need to stay close to Matty. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed his phone and locked up. The dishes would wait. By the time Mike got to the bedroom, Matty was sound asleep.

Mike would have preferred Polly next to him, but Matty was needing something. Mike wasn't even sure what it was but Courtney had made a point. More then anything, Matty needed his dad. Not a caretaker. Mike got ready for bed and laid down next to Matty. On the other occasions when Matty slept in Mike's bed, it had felt awkward, but Mike didn't care now. He put an arm around Matty and pulled him closer.


	20. Chapter 20

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 20

Matty was still fairly depressed the next morning but agreed to go to church with Mike. Mike was worried that Grace wouldn't be there or would shun Matty because of her issues with Mike. It was a setback that Matty wouldn't handle. Mike could handle Grace's attitude as badly as it hurt, but she had to know that Matty still needed her. Polly had begged Mike to let her handle Grace and Mike knew that was the smart thing to do.

Several people were surprised to see Mike and Matty but were genuinely welcoming. The surprise was probably to do with Mike and Polly's separation. Mike settled Matty towards the front, where he and Polly always sit and was soon joined by his younger four kids, Hannah, Sam and Henry.

"Dad, where's Grace at?" Matty asked Mike quietly. He had purposely sat Matty next to him, not knowing how he would react.

"I don't know, Son. I'm sorry." Mike told him. It angered Mike. It was terribly irresponsible of Grace and Matty was missing his oldest sister and nieces and nephews. He needed them. Polly came in and sat down next to Mike, close to the aisle so she could get out easily. Mike noticed Matty looking towards the back for his sister. Mike wrote a note on the back of the bulletin and handed it to Polly.

_"Have you heard from Grace? Matty is looking for her. He misses her." Mike asked. Polly took his pen and wrote a note back._

_ "No. I told her last night I thought you and Matty were coming to church though. I will call her after church, while you and Gabby are out to see if she'll come see Matty." Polly answered and Mike nodded at her. _

The service was great. It was about overcoming life's setbacks and disappointments, something both Mike and Matty needed to hear. Mike knew that Pastor John hadn't planned on them being there but it was almost like the sermon was planned around them.

After church, Polly followed Mike to his house with their younger kids. She would stay there with them and Matty while Mike took Gabby for their home tour and dinner. Mike had purposely worn a nice button down with khakis and Polly had had Gabby wear a slip dress with eyelet lace so she felt special. Mike helped Matty get settled and he was quickly asleep. Gabby had eaten a quick sandwich and they were on their way with a firm warning to Mike from Polly that he not worry and enjoy his time with Gabby.

Gabby was quiet the entire drive up but came to life as soon as she and Mike boarded the charter bus that would be taking them on the house tour. She poured over the pamphlet that had been given her. Normally, a house tour would not have been something Mike would have cared about it, but it was the most animated that Gabby had been in weeks and it wasn't completely unbearable.

The first house on the tour was a Victorian built in the very early 1900s. Gabby studied every detail, including woodwork and tile work. She used terms that Mike had never heard of, let alone thought a fourteen-year-old would know. She asked questions of the tour guide and even the home-owners when they came out to greet the visitors. She was almost disappointed to leave the first house.

The following three houses had the same reaction. Gabby poured over every detail. Original wallpaper, refinished floors, fireplaces, moulding, everything caught her attention. Mike was impressed with her knowledge. They finished the tour about four and Gabby had said she would help Mike pick out a gift for Grace's birthday.

Mike hated the mall, but he wanted to also treat Gabby to something. Very quickly, he found himself in a bookstore. Figuring that Gabby would pick out a popular teen book, he steered her that way, but instead, she found two architecture books that she wanted desperately. Mike knew that Polly had been very careful with money since her separation from Mike, so he agreed to buy her two books. After the walked out of the store, and towards a jewelry store, Mike decided to address it.

"I didn't realize that you were so interested in architecture and such. Where'd that come from?" Mike asked.

"I had to take a graphing class. Since I was suspended, the school wants me to keep busy so I don't get in more trouble. I just really like the class. The math is hard but I was able to draw a house up on blueprints. The teacher is putting it into a computer program so I can decorate the house. I can have him burn the disc if you want to see it?" Gabby asked. Normally, Mike would have not been interested, but he had to show some interest where Gabby was concerned.

"You bet I would." Mike told her with a smile. Gabby looked thrilled. They walked into a jewelry store, and after a little browsing; Mike found a locket for Grace. It was like Hannah's, only on a longer chain and in the rose gold that Grace preferred. The store inscribed it with, _"Unending love" _and an infinity symbol.

Gabby surprised Mike by requesting they eat at one of the restaurants in the mall. It was a steak place, which appealed to Mike. Mike wasn't sure what the reason for the change was, but she seemed to enjoy it as much as he did.

Shockingly, Mike hadn't thought much about Matty, his separation from Polly or the problems with Grace. He was focused on Gabby and thoroughly enjoyed his afternoon with her. She was a typical fourteen-year-old, complete with eye rolls and a smart mouth, but she was also a delight. Mike hadn't realized how relaxed he would be and knew he had to make a point to spend more time with Gabby. Once he got past the attitude; she reminded him a lot of Polly. As they got in the truck to go home; Mike had a thought.

"We can do this more often." Mike stated.

"I'd like that but I know you are wanting to spend some time with Mom too." Gabby remarked.

"I have time. We will work something out." Mike said before starting the drive home, not missing the grin on Gabby's face.


	21. Chapter 21

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 21

Matty was a bit more upbeat, probably because he had been able to spend some time with his mom and younger siblings. He seemed genuinely interested in Gabby's books and listened to her tell all about her time with Mike. She was talking a mile a minute and even Charlotte listened to her intently. Mike did know, he was going to have to also make a point to spend time with Tommy and Rebecca. He didn't want them to feel left out. He and Polly stepped out for a moment alone before she took the kids home.

"So, did Grace come by?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Polly said. Mike looked at her expectantly.

"And?" Mike asked.

"She visited with Matty for a while." Polly said.

"Did she say why she hadn't been coming around? I can't fix it if I don't know what it is." Mike asked. He was getting aggravated.

"Mike, settle down. It is going to be a work in progress." Polly said as she put a hand on his arm and gently massaged it.

"Why?" Mike asked angrily.

"You have to get past this anger and move on. Grace is a lot like you. A lot of this is my fault for bringing the emotional abuse thing up. It has brought every argument and disagreement up that you've had with her for the last thirteen years. Everything you didn't handle well. She is fixating on it." Polly stated.

"So, how?" Mike asked.

"Do what you're doing. Take care of Matty and repair things with me and the kids, specifically Gabby. Keep your distance but make it clear that you love her no matter what. Gabby mentioned that she helped you pick out a birthday present?" Polly asked.

"Yeah. A locket." Mike said.

"Alright, I grabbed a birthday card and I want you to sign it. Something generic like 'I love you, Dad.' I will give her the locket and get some flowers for her on your behalf. I know how special the kid's birthdays are to you, Mike and I know that it will hurt, but I think that if Grace realizes that you still love her, and are fixing things, she'll come around. Now, you are both angry and will strike out at each other." Polly said.

"I…miss her." Mike said simply.

"I know, Mike. I wish I could fix this easily. Most of it is my fault and I am sorry. I do think that the kids will help. Mikey was crying because you weren't here. He misses you." Polly explained.

"I miss him too. This hurts." Mike said quietly. He didn't mean to guilt trip Polly, but she pulled him into a hug.

"I know, babe. Do you want me and the kids to stay the night?" Polly asked.

"Of course, I do." Mike said. He would have wanted them there regardless.

"Care if I run back to the parsonage and pack some clothes?" Polly said as she pulled away.

"Of course not." Mike said before leaning down and giving Polly a kiss.

"And maybe I can convince Charlotte to sleep in her old room." Polly said.

"Didn't figure you were ready for that?" Mike said.

"I'm not but it would be nice to share a bed without a kicking four-year-old." Polly said.

"I see." Mike said. It was hard to hide his disappointment. He just wanted his marriage and family back.

"I'm getting there, Mike. I want it to be special, not just because we can." Polly said.

"Yeah, sorry. Just…tired, I guess. I do want you and the kids here." Mike said as they walked back into the house.

"It'll get better, Mike. And don't think for a second that she doesn't love you." Polly said as she grabbed her purse.

"Not so sure about that. Drive safe." Mike told her before giving her another kiss.

"I will. Kids, we're staying here tonight. I'm going back to the parsonage to get clothes for tomorrow and your school bags." Polly explained before walking out.

"Hey, Dad; can you come sit here for a minute?" Matty asked, while patting the couch next to him. Mike immediately complied; not knowing what Matty needed.

"What do you need, son?" Mike asked.

"Just…wanted to make sure that you're okay. I knew that you were missing Grace and I tried to get her to stay, but she wouldn't." Matty was touched by his thoughtfulness. Matty had a lot going on and sometimes seemed a bit selfish.

"Thanks, Son. Yeah, I miss her but I don't want you to fight with her. Don't worry about me." Mike said as put an arm around Matty. Matty kind of melted into him and Charlotte jumped onto his lap, almost sensing his mood.

Polly came back within an hour with clothes for the kids and herself for the next day, school bags and extra bedding. For Mike, it felt good to kiss his younger kids good night and help Matty get ready for bed. And it felt even better to fall asleep with Polly on his chest.

**Tuesday Morning**

Polly was taking the locket and card to Grace along with a floral arrangement that she had picked out. In years past, Mike had taken Grace for lunch and they had a big dinner at the house for her, complete with her favorite foods and a homemade cake. That wouldn't be happening that year.

Matty was having a rough day, pain wise and wanted to stay home but would have done anything Mike asked him to do. While he slept, Mike looked through a baby book of Grace's. Christine had loved scrapbooking and their kids had baby books. As the kids got older, Polly had taken up the hobby. It spanned Grace's lifetime and included pictures of her own kids.

It made Mike remember the day, thirty-four years before when he become a father for the first time. He was in love. Before Christine got pregnant with Grace, he didn't think he wanted kids. The first time he held her was like magic. He remembered crying. She was a perfect eight-pound bundle of beauty.

He was not a perfect father. He had a temper and sometimes his kids got the brunt of that. He couldn't even say that he had loved them perfectly. Before the Red Flu, he had taken them for granted. Just assumed they would always be around and perhaps he had fallen back into old habits. He was smart enough to know, he was lucky to have Grace and Hannah back, and to have his other kids. A lot of men were not so lucky after the Red Flu.

Matty's accident and his separation from Polly had been a wake-up call. He was growing tired of being Matty's caretaker but would never ask someone else to care for him. It had been hard enough the day before when he left Matty with Polly. He thoroughly enjoyed his time with Gabby and it had been a breakthrough with her, but he also felt a bit guilty about leaving Matty.

The bright side was at least Matty had gotten to spend time with his oldest sister, nieces and nephews. He was much more upbeat, despite the pain and felt horribly that Mike hadn't gotten to see them. He slept through the morning and after taking a rare pain pill, slept through the afternoon. Mike was watching him closely, checking him for fever and had even undone the bandages on his amputated leg to monitor it. Nothing seemed out of the norm. He finally called Sam before he called the specialists and got the very unsatisfying, "There will be days when he is just in pain. He's been through a lot. Most patients that have been through an amputation and a major brain surgery are still in the hospital. Don't hurry him."

Mike doubted it but had no reason to call the specialist. He just prayed that there was nothing seriously wrong. A little after three, Polly called to see what they were doing and agreed to come over for supper with the kids, in hope that Matty would feel better with them there.

Sure enough, as soon as they come in, Matty woke up and was genuinely happy to see them. They were visiting with Matty while Mike and Polly prepared dinner.

"So, did you take Grace her gift?" Mike asked as he cut up vegetables for a salad. Polly was battering chicken.

"Yeah, I did. Took her to lunch. She seemed to like it. Had me put the locket on and teared up a little at the card. What'd you write?" Polly asked.

"Good. I wrote a simple 'I love and miss you' on the card. Wasn't sure what kind of effect it would have. I really hate not seeing her today. I'd give about anything to give her a hug." Mike commented quietly.

"I know. Grace has made a stand and she's stubborn. Part of her wants to stick with the stand but the other part of her wants that hug. And you have an ally with Ryan and Mikey. I guess Mikey cried all last night. Ryan told her that it wasn't fair to Mikey. She just isn't sure how to go back on her stand." Polly explained.

"Do we have enough chicken?" Mike asked.

"For us, yeah; plenty." Polly said.

"Not just for us. For Ryan, Grace and the kids?" Mike asked.

"I bought plenty and will just keep frying. Can you text her? My hands are covered in breading. And Ryan's working. She's kind of depressed about that too. Before, if he was working; you'd make a point to make a big deal out of her birthday." Polly explained.

"We don't have a cake for her." Mike said as he picked up his phone.

"Look in the deep freeze. Before the accident, I had bought a couple of those frozen pies on sale. Helps to have them on hand. They'll have to work. Better text her. You know she likes to get the kids fed and settled early." Polly ordered. Mike grabbed his phone and typed out a text message.

_ "We're having fried chicken, mashed potatoes, creamy corn and salad. Not exactly your typical birthday dinner, but you and the kids are welcome. I hear Ryan is working?" Mike texted. _

_ "Yes. I don't want to be any trouble though." Grace answered._

_ "You are never any trouble. I'd love to have you here." Mike texted back._

_ "Okay. Do I need to bring anything?" Grace asked._

_ "Just yourself and the kids." Mike answered._

Mike found the pies and helped Polly get dinner fixed. Gabby and Rebecca set the table and a half hour later, Grace was at the door with her kids. Mikey immediately jumped into Mike's arms and Andrew followed. Hope and Christa were just excited to see their uncle. As soon as Mike put the two boys down, he pulled Grace into a hug. It felt so good to hold her.

They all sat down to dinner and Grace was quiet, but at least she was there. Matty was still in pain and was sitting next to Mike. There had been no mention of the protection orders, or how Grace felt about them and Mike noticed she was wearing the locket. It made him happy.

"Daddy, when are we moving back here?" Charlotte asked innocently. Mike looked across the table at Polly, who looked like she was ready to crawl under the table.

"I'm fine with you all moving back in anytime but Mommy and I have to take care of some stuff first." Mike explained.

"Oh. I hope soon." Charlotte said. Mike had noticed how tense Grace was becoming but didn't want to address it.

"Me too." Rebecca echoed.

"I don't understand why you all would want to. You had made your break; Polly and you came back." Grace said. Mike was shocked and so was Polly. It was like someone had flipped a switch with Grace.

"Huh?" Polly asked.

"You walked out on Dad because he was horrible to you and then again to Gabby. It follows a pattern that he started with my mom and continued with us kids." Grace said. Even the younger kids were quiet.

"But…you came back…" Mike said.

"Yeah, didn't want to cook tonight and Mikey was crying because he hadn't seen you." Grace said.

"Geez, Grace. Why are you doing this?" Matty spoke up. Mike could see the pain on his face.

"Because everyone is buffaloed by all this." Grace said. Mike had thrown his napkin down and was looking at Polly with a 'what should I do look.'

"All this? Grace, Dad has been nothing but good to me. He has stayed with me every moment since my accident. He has never complained and held me when I was hurting or just needed him. He did the same for you when you were hurt. He does it because he loves us. I don't understand why you would do this." Matty said.

"Because…" Grace started but Mike stood up.

"Don't worry about it. I know how you feel about me. You might as well eat." Mike told Grace before walking towards his bedroom. The left side of his jaw was hurting and his arm was numb but he really didn't want to face his family right now. He was completely ashamed of himself.

He sat down on his bed and waited for someone to follow him. His bet was on Polly or even Matty. The numbness and pain were progressively getting worse. Mike hadn't shut his bedroom door and was shocked when Gabby peaked in. He started to stand up but collapsed instead. He heard Gabby run back into the dining room, yelling for help but everything faded to black.


	22. Chapter 22

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 22

They airlifted Mike from the scene, and he never regained consciousness. The paramedics and flight nurse told Polly that he had had a massive heart attack. Somehow, they did keep his heart beating. Maggie and Alec were already in the city and agreed to meet the helicopter at the hospital and Polly packed the kids up and with Ryan's help, lifted Matty into her SUV.

Grace was in a state of shock and hadn't said much. Matty was incredibly angry at him and Polly knew that if Mike didn't make it, the fight was far from over. Polly felt terribly guilty because she had started the fight but she had to keep a clear head to make good decisions for Mike.

By the time Polly got to the hospital, Alec was waiting on her to help her with Matty. Mike had made it to the hospital and was hanging on. The cardiologist was assessing him, trying to decide how to best treat him. Alec told her that he had already referred to the heart attack that Mike had suffered as a 'widow-maker.' It broke Polly's heart. Grace and Hannah were following with their families and the younger kids and Matty were following her aimlessly.

Matty agreed to keep the kids occupied while Polly, Maggie and Alec met with the cardiologist. They could see Mike from where they were, and he was incredibly pale. Mike was fifty-five and was in incredibly good shape. He still worked out regularly and ate well. The cardiologist, Dr. Adams was easy to talk to and explained things.

"Honestly, what saved his life was that he is in really good shape. There are no blockages and his heart is healthy." He explained.

"So, what happened?" Polly asked.

"It's termed 'Broken-Heart Syndrome.' I understand there has been several stressors in the past couple weeks, month?" Dr. Adams asked.

"Yes. Our son was involved in an accident, resulting in an amputation of his left leg and a brain injury. Mike has been his caretaker and Matty's girlfriend and unborn child also died. He and I separated and we were working things out. Today, he had a bit of an argument with our oldest daughter." Polly explained.

"You are still married, though? I noticed that he had a wedding band on." Dr. Adams asked.

"Yes. We were…working through things. Still living separately but were talking a lot. I was there when he had his…was it a heart attack?" Polly asked.

"The medical terminology is 'major cardiac event.' Unfortunately, there isn't a lot we can do for what has happened. Rest and no stressors. We will be keeping him at least overnight and probably longer. His family can visit, but make no mistake, if anyone causes him any undue stress, they will be sent away. He cannot handle it right now." Dr. Adams explained.

"Has he woken up?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, briefly. He is very worried about his son, is it Matty? His son's care. We are going to let him rest as much as possible. I really do not want him stimulated at all. He is very fragile." Dr. Adams said as he checked Mike's chart again.

"Never thought I would hear Mike referred to as fragile." Alec remarked.

"It will not take much for him to have another event and if he does, he will die. He needs lots of rest and not a lot of stimulations or stress. Only with that will that scar tissue heal, but it will never go away." Dr. Adams said as he opened the hospital room door for them.

"Polly, we'll go tell the kids. You need a few minutes alone with him." Maggie said before giving her younger sister a kiss. She and Alec walked towards the waiting room and Polly walked towards the hospital bed. Mike looked twenty years older. There were wires and monitors everywhere and he was sleeping but as soon as Polly touched his hand, Mike's eyes flittered open.

"Hey, handsome." Polly said as she bent down and kissed his cheek.

"So…tired. The kids? Matty needs me at home." Mike said. Polly lowered the bed rail and sat down beside Mike on the bed.

"Matty needs you. His dad. We all need you, Mike." Polly said.

"Not Grace though." Mike said sadly.

"I don't want you to worry about Grace right now. I do want you to concentrate on the kids and how much they love you. Not how much they need you, how much they love you. How much we all love you." Polly said as she gave Mike a kiss on the lips. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, basically laying down with him on the bed. Even his touch was weaker.

**Waiting Room**

"You will not stress your dad in anyway. He only needs to know one thing, that you all love him. Your dad is a very sick man right now and he might not survive this. Take it easy. Two at a time." Alec ordered, pointing first to Matty and Gabby. They were the two that would cause Mike the least amount of stress.

"This isn't my fault." Grace said.

"How wasn't it? Dad invited you over for your birthday and you used it against him. He didn't deserve what you did and I don't think you need to see him." Tommy said as he cuddled Charlotte close.

"How dare you? You are thirteen years old." Grace raged. Her own kids were crying and Ryan stood up.

"Alright, enough. Grace, you aren't staying here." Ryan said.

"Daddy, I wanted to see Gampa." Mikey said. Maggie sat down next to her grandson and pulled him into a hug.

"When your grandpa gets home, I will pick you up and take you to his house to visit him, okay?" Maggie offered. Mikey was clearly not happy with the prospect but knew better then to argue.

"Me too, Nana?" Hope asked. They loved Alec and Maggie but Mike was a favorite grandparent and they knew it.

"Of course." Maggie said with a look to her daughter-in-law and son.

"They are my kids. Don't I get an option?" Grace asked.

"I agree with them, babe. Let's go." Ryan said as he picked Christa up and gave Andrew his hand.

"We'll call you, son." Alec said. He had to admire Ryan's courage in not agreeing with Grace. She could be hard to deal with on a good day. Ryan nodded and ushered his family out. Alec looked at Hannah, expecting an argument but she threw her hands up in defeat.

"I just want to see my dad. I'll keep my mouth shut." Hannah said wisely. Alec nodded and looked towards the hallway where Gabby was helping Matty.

Polly was still laying next to Mike when Gabby and Matty came in and Mike woke up when he heard Matty's crutches hit the floor. Both kids walked to Mike's other side and Gabby leaned over the railing and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm…so…sorry I scared you." Mike said to Gabby.

"Its okay, just as long as you get better." Gabby said as she squeezed his hand and gave him another kiss.

"I promise." Mike told her and then turned towards Matty. "I'm so sorry, son. I don't know how we're going to…do this now." Mike said.

"Tommy and I were talking. He'll help me with my showers and the only thing I'll need help with is getting into vehicles and I was thinking of how I could do that. It'll be alright. Don't worry about me, Dad. Just take care of yourself." Matty said as he grasped Mike's hand.

"And about that, Mike. The kids and I are moving back in. I need to be home with you to help you and to make sure you are okay." Polly said.

"But you're not ready. We hadn't dated and…" Mike started but his heart monitor began chiming and Polly put a finger to his lips.

"Its time. When I'm at the parsonage, I want to be home. I shouldn't have stayed gone so long. Gabby, you okay with this?" Polly asked.

"Yeah. I was going to just move back in so I could help Dad." Gabby said.

"Mike, are you okay with it?" Polly asked.

"Yeah, nothing I want more. Is Grace still here?" Mike asked. Alec stepped in just then and walked to Polly's side.

"Mike, I understand that you wanted to see her but right now, its best that she went home. Maggie is going to talk to her and settle her down. Also, we will take the younger kids and Matty home with us. Sam and Hannah are going to stay at your house to help Matty so Polly can stay with you. We all think that is for the best. You'll be here a day or so. Polly, Mags went to get you some comfortable clothes for here. We don't want the two of you to worry about a thing. We have it covered." Alec said.

"Can I see the kids before you all leave?" Mike asked. He didn't have the energy to argue.

"Absolutely." Alec said as he summoned in the rest of the family. They all hugged and kissed Mike. Charlotte was completely confused and began crying in Alec's arms. She didn't understand what was happening. She only knew that her normally strong daddy was in a hospital bed, not looking well at all.

Mike fell asleep before Maggie came back with Polly's needed supplies and they all wanted to leave Mike and Polly to rest together. She had not taken his sudden illness well at all and blamed herself for it. Despite Hannah's earlier feelings towards Polly, even she gave Polly a hug and kiss, promising to help as much as possible. She and Sam were taking Matty back with them and would stay with him at Mike's house.

The kids, Maggie and Alec finally left, leaving Mike and Polly alone. He spent most of the night sleeping and Polly never left his side. The cardiologist had been back in and reminded Polly to let Mike rest. The nurse and Polly had helped him into the bathroom at some point through the night and it had exhausted him. He slept the rest of the night and agreed to use a bedside commode. That told Polly how weak he was.

There were no visitors until that afternoon and it was Tom and Sasha. Tom seemed very off put by his best friend's sudden decline in health. Mike fell asleep halfway through their visit, but Tom did assure Polly that they would get her and the kids moved back in. They left and Polly settled back next to Mike, knowing he was going to be in the hospital for another night.

Mike slept through the night and by the next morning, seemed to be on an uphill swing. His vitals were better, he had more energy and he ate all his breakfast. He even teased Polly a bit about helping him take a shower. He had talked to their younger kids on the phone and was thrilled that Alec and Tom had gotten Polly and their kids moved back in. Dr. Adams walked in and began assessing Mike.

"Alright, vitals are much better and I do like your recent tests a lot better. You are by no means in good shape though. No stressors, and very light exercise. For a while, walking across a room will exhaust you. Whatever stressed you, you need to stay away from for a while." Dr. Adams said.

"My daughter?" Mike said quietly.

"If she causes you stress, yes. I know that is hard to digest, but if you want to be around for your wife, kids and grandkids; you have to stay calm and keep that heartrate down. The next episode will kill you." Dr. Adams explained.

"Is there a medication that will help? I know you said before there were no procedures." Polly asked.

"I have prescribed a low-dose Aspirin, and an anti-anxiety medicine that will also help him rest. You will feel like you aren't doing anything but its better than being in a casket, which is your alternative." Dr. Adams told Mike firmly.

"I suppose. So, I get to go home?" Mike asked.

"Yes, with severe limitations. You know them." Dr. Adams said as he did one last assessment of the monitors and listened to Mike's heart again.

"I will make sure he adheres to every one of them, Doc." Polly said.

"Good. I'll send a nurse to help you and she'll have your prescriptions. She will also have a follow-up appointment scheduled" Dr. Adams said before leaving.

They quickly got Mike dressed, unhooked from IVs and monitors in a wheelchair. It exhausted him and he was asleep as soon as Polly got him in the SUV. The drive home was quiet and Alec was waiting to help Polly when they pulled in. It took a bit to get Mike into his recliner and as soon as they did, he was asleep. Matty watched every move Mike make and Polly knew that nothing would get past him. Hopefully, things would stay calm.

**I know I have used this 'Broken-heart syndrome' before, but it is real and there isn't a lot that can be done. It was easier to use it!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Too Many Years **

Chapter 23

Mike felt like all he was accomplishing was sleeping. He'd start feeling a burst of energy about the same time it was time for another anti-anxiety med. He had mentioned not taking them but Polly shot that idea down quickly. The one bright side was that the kids, especially Charlotte; spent a lot of time cuddling with Mike.

He missed Grace. He understood why she was being kept away and knew that her mentality hadn't really changed; but he missed her. Polly, Maggie and Alec and Tom and Sasha were fiercely protective of him and even Matty, Gabby and the twins were pretty verbal about Grace coming around. Hannah hadn't said much but Mike got the feeling she felt a little conflicted. If the truth were known, he did too.

Mike didn't have the energy to fight it but also knew, he didn't have the stamina to deal with whatever Grace dished out. If he wanted to be able to grow old with his wife and raise all his kids, he had to not be around her.

Fortunately, Ryan had brought his and Grace's kids by for a couple visits. Mike couldn't imagine that Grace was thrilled but at least he was able to see his grandkids. Ryan was evasive when Mike asked him how Grace was and would only tell him that was fine. Mike suspected there was something going on and his family wasn't telling him so he wasn't stressed.

A week after he was released from the hospital, Polly was getting ready for bed while Mike waited, since he had spent his day alternating between his recliner, couch and then his bed. He hadn't even been able to watch Matty take his first steps with his prosthetic, although Polly had taken a video for him. It made Mike feel bad and Matty was dealing with some blisters that Mike couldn't even help him with. Polly was having to do everything. As she laid down in bed beside him, he could feel how tired she was.

"Tired?" Mike asked. She had picked her Bible up but didn't seem to be able to concentrate.

"Exhausted. And my list has grown. I have to preach Sunday. I need to do some sermon prep." Polly said. Mike wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

"Can you do your prep at home or do you need to go in?" Mike asked.

"I need to go in and get a couple books but I will be able to do the rest from home. Hannah is going to come and stay with you." Polly said after yawning.

"I'm sure I'll be alright to be alone. I doubt you'll be gone too long." Mike said.

"I would feel better if you had someone here. The younger kids will be at school. Just you and Matty." Polly argued.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike said.

"I do have to figure out how I'm going to handle Max's graduation. I really don't want to disappoint him again." Polly remarked.

"You should go. You, Maggie and Gabby. I did get her ticket." Mike said.

"I think I'm going to see if Alec can stay here. He'll help." Polly said all while stifling another yawn.

"Yeah. I…I'd really like to see Grace." Mike said, knowing that Polly would object.

"Mike, I know you do. Despite everything, she's still your daughter and you still love her. But she also deliberately hurt you and since, she has shown little remorse. We cannot have her here to potentially hurt you again. Maggie and Alec have spoken with her and Hannah is working on it, but you need to be patient." Polly instructed.

"Ryan has been here with the kids, though?" Mike asked.

"We wanted you to see the kids. No reason they should not have you in their lives." Polly said.

"This is so confusing. I thought Maggie was bringing them but then Ryan showed up." Mike said. He felt her take a deep breath and straighten up.

"Alright, when I tell you this, do not stress. Ryan and Grace split up. He still loves her deeply and wants to be with her. He also took their kids with him. He's staying with Maggie and Alec." Polly said.

"Why?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. I haven't asked a lot of questions. Its kind of put me in a weird position, I love Grace like a daughter, but he's also my nephew." Mike said.

"Something must have happened for them to split up and for him to take the kids. Do you know how Grace is doing with this?" Mike asked.

"Not really well. She honestly feels like her life has imploded around her. She just hasn't seen her culpability in it. Until she does, she won't be seeing you and she won't get her husband and kids back. I know this seems harsh but what Grace did was completely uncalled for. You'll say you are far from a perfect father, but if she can find it so easy to cut down someone who has done nothing but love her, what will she do to her own kids or her brothers and sisters? She made some comments to Tommy at the hospital, and I think that is what motivated Ryan." Polly explained.

"Do I get a choice in this?" Mike responded. He was a little angered by Polly's comments but also knew he had to stay calm.

"If you really want to see Grace, I will happily call her to come visit, but I will be here every step of the way. Mike, please understand; we are only doing this because we all love you. We know you love Grace and we all love her too, but she attacked you and then attacked a thirteen-year-old boy who was only trying to protect his father. Now, Tommy is alright and honestly hasn't said a lot about it and we are all probably over-reacting over that, but it follows a pattern. I would never ask you to turn your back on your own daughter. I know you couldn't. But I also know, you need to not be stressed about this." Polly pled.

"I didn't know about Tommy. Is he okay?" Mike asked, worried about the young boy. Tommy was a really good kid. He was their easy kid. Happy-go-lucky, with a good sense of humor and fiercely protective of his family. His one fault was he was a little sensitive but it was a quality that Mike and Polly adored about him.

"He's okay. It really wasn't too bad, just the fact that she did it." Polly told him. She was propped up on her hand and looked exhausted.

"I know you are upset with her and I am too, but I really want to see her. She must feel terribly alone. I don't want that." Mike said.

"Okay, I will see about having her out here." Polly said. He could tell she wasn't entirely thrilled with it but understood his reasoning. Mike turned slightly and kissed her on the forehead.

"You're the best. Better get to sleep. I love you." Mike said as he leaned over and turned the light off and wrapped his arms around Polly.

"Love you too. And, Mike; don't stress." Polly said as she settled on his chest.

Several hours later, Mike woke up to a knocking on the front door. Polly was sound asleep and didn't hear it. He carefully got out of bed, so not to disturb her and walked into the living room to answer it. He wasn't sure who would be knocking at their door at three o'clock in the morning and was shocked to see Grace through the sidelight. It was raining and Mike could tell she was soaked, even through the window. He immediately opened the door, not knowing what to expect.

What he didn't expect was for her to run into his arms. She was soaked to the bone, shivering and sobbing. Mike could hold her but she really needed warm clothes and a hot drink. He pulled her inside and was thrilled to see Polly come around the corner.

"I felt you get out of bed and I was afraid that you weren't feeling well…Grace?" Polly asked.

"Yeah, she's freezing. Can you get her some warm clothes and I'll get coffee made?" Mike said as he squeezed Grace and handed her over to Polly to get warmed up. It was summertime, but it was rainy and a little chilly out.

"C'mon, Grace. Let's get you warmed up." Polly said as she pulled her into their bedroom. Mike put the coffee on and warmed up some soup that was in the fridge. He was worried sick about his oldest daughter but knew that despite the anger and frustration that Polly felt towards her, she was in the best hands possible. He could hear the two of them talking and the hair dryer working. He felt badly for Polly because she had been so exhausted. He put the coffee with extra sugar and a bowl of soup on one of the food trays and carried it into his and Polly's bedroom, where Grace was sitting on the bed while Polly dried her hair. Grace had her knees drawn up and her arms around them.

"And Ryan left and took our kids. I miss them so much. I haven't slept all week and I am so tired." Grace continued. Mike and Polly exchanged a look and Polly finished blow drying Grace's hair.

"How about this, I'll braid this hair and you eat and drink that coffee. You can stay here and get some rest. We can't fix any of this at three am. Do you want me to call Ryan to come over? You know he would." Polly asked as she grabbed a hair tie and began braiding Grace's hair. It reminded Mike of Christine.

"No. I don't want him to see me like this and I haven't told him about the baby and he won't be happy. He didn't want anymore. He won't want this baby and I don't know what I'll do." Grace rambled and began crying again. Mike looked at Polly and she nodded at him. Grace was pregnant. She had never handled her pregnancies well and would be horribly moody. Mike sat down next to her and put the food tray over her lap.

"You will tell him. Just because he didn't plan for another baby doesn't mean he won't love it. But first, you will eat this and get some rest. Being this upset won't do that baby a bit of good. How far along are you?" Mike asked as he indicated the food and coffee. In retrospect, coffee wasn't the best option but he hadn't known about the pregnancy before and Grace needed warmed up.

"Ten weeks. I just kept avoiding telling him." Grace said as she ate some of the soup.

"Its alright. We'll get you to a doctor first and foremost. Then, I'll talk to Ryan." Polly said as she sat down next to Grace.

"But you guys are so mad at me." Grace said.

"We are less then thrilled with you but we do still love you and so does Ryan. Us loving you was never a question. Now, eat up. You can sleep in one of the guest rooms." Mike told her sincerely. He stood up and headed towards the room that Hannah had always used, conveniently across from Mike and Polly. When Hannah had been sick, Mike had gotten her a bed heater to help her stay warm. He turned that on and turned the bed down so Grace could just go to sleep. He also was taking his time, to give Polly time to give Grace a bit of a motherly advice. He remembered five years before when she came to Mike that she was expecting Charlotte, how worried she'd been about his reaction. Charlotte hadn't been planned for and was a huge surprise but had been a special blessing for their family. He had no doubt that Grace and Ryan's new baby would be no different.

He had just finished up when Polly and Grace came in. Mike only knew to pull Grace into another hug. She just melted into him. There were a lot of issues and his other kids would have mixed emotions about Grace even being there, but they would have to understand that Mike felt the need to comfort and take care of Grace. Thankfully, Polly seemed to and had joined in. It had been many years, but Mike carefully tucked the blankets around Grace and kissed the top of her head. What surprised him was when Polly also kissed her.

"Get some sleep. We love you." Polly said as she shut the bedside lamp off and she and Mike walked out. Mike walked into the living room and locked the door again and shut all the lights off before rejoining Polly in bed.

"Thanks for helping with her. It was odd that she showed up here." Mike said as they shut their lights off and Polly settled on his chest.

"Yeah. I didn't ask a lot of questions. I would guess she had been out there for a while. And you know, I love Grace. Now, we just have to figure out how to help her." Polly said as she reached up and gave Mike a kiss.

"Maybe I should talk to Ryan?" Mike offered.

"No. You will be on Grace's side regardless. He'll get defensive. I think we need to encourage her to tell him about the baby. Ryan is a softie. He won't reject his pregnant wife or unborn child. That much I know for sure. Once she is a bit more clearheaded, we will know how to proceed. You'd better get to sleep." Polly said.

"Again, you're the best. I love you." Mike said as he kissed Polly's forehead.

"I love you too." Polly said with a smile.


	24. Chapter 24

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 24

Fortunately, Grace was off the next day. She slept until well after ten, which was unusual for her. The other kids were not thrilled that she was there and Mike was worried about the welcome she would receive when Grace did wake up. He was still upset with her too, but she was still his daughter and he still felt a duty to take care of her, but even more so; her unborn child. Thankfully, Polly agreed.

When Grace finally did get up, she was still teary-eyed. Polly had gone to the church to get her books and to talk to Ryan. Mike understood what Polly was saying about Mike being defensive of Grace, but he really didn't know what Ryan's reaction was going to be. Mike got into Polly's stash of tea and fixed Grace a cup and took it out to her. She was sitting on the swing, avoiding the other kids and Mike. Mike sat down next to her and waited for her to speak.

"I shouldn't have come here." Grace said simply.

"Why do you think that?" Mike asked.

"Because I'm making things worse. The other kids hate me. You and Polly should hate me. My husband doesn't even want to be with me and he's keeping my kids from me." Grace said.

"Honey, no one hates you. We all love you. As far as Ryan is concerned; has he said he doesn't want to be with you?" Mike asked.

"No, but…" Grace started.

"No buts. I haven't spoken with him, but from what Polly has told me; he still loves you and he didn't do what he did lightly. You're a lot like me. It takes something drastic to catch your attention. For me, it was Polly having me served with those orders." Mike admitted.

"Well, he isn't going to be thrilled with the baby." Grace said.

"Doesn't mean he won't love it. Polly and I didn't plan on Charlotte but sometimes the biggest blessings are the unexpected ones." Mike told her.

"Yeah, well; you could afford Charlotte and had room for her. We are getting by but we don't want to mortgage the house to build on. We have no room and another baby will be expensive." Grace said.

"You don't remember it, but when Lucas was born; we were living in a two-bedroom duplex. There was no military housing available and I couldn't afford more then what the stipend allowed. You and Hannah shared the larger bedroom. Your mom and I were in the smaller room and we had downgraded to a double bed to just fit it in. She got pregnant and was miserable. We couldn't afford another baby. She had miscarried just before that and…I love Lucas and I hate myself for saying this, but I hoped she would miscarry again. It wasn't that I didn't want Lucas. I did. It just wasn't a good time. I was climbing the ranks." Mike started.

"I remember some of it." Grace said.

"Do you remember that there was no room for even a bassinet in that bedroom and we couldn't put him in with you girls? Remember where he slept?" Mike asked.

"No." Grace said.

"In the hallway. We put his bassinet in the hallway and then when he was ready for the crib; he spent the first year of his life sleeping in the hallway. Didn't mean that your mom and I didn't love him. You also don't remember this, but Mom and I received public assistance. Food Stamps. I couldn't work a second job and with three young kids, it made no sense for your mom to work outside the home. Day care would have eaten us alive. I hated it. Completely ashamed. Felt I should have done a better job providing for my wife and children. Your mom did wonderfully at stretching things. You wore your cousin's hand-me-downs, and then Hannah adopted them. We got Lucas' clothes from Tom and Darien." Mike reminisced. It was a time in his life that he would prefer to forget.

"I don't remember any of that. Us kids didn't know. What changed?" Grace asked.

"We didn't want you to know. I remember for your…seventh or eighth birthday; you wanted a pizza party for your friends. Wanted a bakery cake. Your mom baked the pizza and then got pizza boxes from our neighbors to make it look like we had ordered them and watched a couple cake decorating things on the internet and made your cake look like it was store bought. You never knew until now. We also bought your present, a new bike off a yard sale. I got it for five dollars and cleaned it up. What changed? I got a promotion and with that came a raise and a three-bedroom house. You and Hannah still shared but Lucas got moved out of the hallway about the same time he learned to get out of his crib. We still remained on assistance for a while, but we managed." Mike explained.

"I never knew. I guess I thought since you were in the Navy everything was taken care of." Grace said.

"Just because I was in the Navy, doesn't mean we didn't have expenses. Debt. I was a cop for a long time and that didn't pay well. Military housing was paid for but there weren't always openings and housing was expensive. If you could afford above your stipend, then you could get a better house but it was expensive and housing was very limited. And because I was an officer, your mom and I had to achieve a certain…look. Your mom become good at making her evening dresses and what she called 'shift dresses.' She looked like we spent a fortune on clothes but she didn't. Her sister was a hairdresser who experimented with your mom when we lived close. And she sold make-up through a direct sales company to get those items. It worked. She was thrifty." Mike told her.

"I see." Grace said.

"My point is, you will find a way to support that baby; just as I did with you kids." Mike said.

"I see that point, but it doesn't mean that Ryan will love this baby. He will support it, but he doesn't have to love it." Grace said. Mike wondered if she realized how petty she sounded.

"Mmm. Then there was Hannah. I supported her. Made sure she didn't need anything but I'm not sure I even loved her back then. You do know this story and I love Hannah so much now, but back then; I was stuck on the idea of having a boy and then she was born. Your mom wrote me a letter before she died and she wrote in it that she knew I had always loved Hannah. I'm not even so sure of that, but I took care of her. She was my responsibility. Even though, at the time; I didn't love her, or seem to; she was still my child. She asked me once that if she had died instead of Lucas, before we fixed things and developed a good relationship, would I have even grieved for her? Truth is, I don't know. I would like to say I would have. I would have grieved because I didn't have that relationship with her. My point is, Ryan is a much better father then me. Is this baby planned for? No. Is it even wanted? Maybe not. But it is a reality. You have to start taking care of yourself. Polly made you a doctor's appointment this morning. You need to go. She also is talking to Ryan. I don't think she will announce your pregnancy because you need to. Have some more faith in your husband." Mike advised.

"I just hope you're right." Grace said.

**Maggie and Alec's House**

Polly walked into her sister's house and grabbed the pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge. She was a frequent guest and she had warned Maggie that she was coming over to talk to Ryan. She had disclosed to Maggie about Grace's early morning visit and about the pregnancy. Like Mike and Polly, Maggie agreed that her son would accept the baby. Polly wanted Grace to tell him but knew she would probably have to.

"Hey, Aunt Polly; what are you doing here?" Ryan asked. Polly had to smile at the young man. Even though his life was in turmoil, he was still happy and cheery. Ryan and Tommy were a lot alike.

"Came by to talk to you. Sit with me." Polly said as she patted the couch.

"The kids?" Ryan asked.

"Your mom and dad have Mikey and Hope outside and I would guess you were putting Andrew and Christa down for their naps?" Polly asked.

"Yeah but I should go out and help Mom and Dad." Ryan argued.

"They're fine. Sit." Polly ordered in a voice that Ryan wouldn't argue with. He sat down next to her and seemed nervous.

"I'm guessing this is about Grace?" Ryan asked.

"It is. I know you still love her and this separation is as hard on you." Polly said.

"It is. I love my wife. Good and bad qualities. I hated taking the kids from her and I hope we can work things out but Grace's frame of mind…she's stubborn." Ryan said.

"Her frame of mind has changed. She showed up at the house at three o'clock this morning. Soaked and cold. I'm not sure how long she had been out. Mike and I got her warmed up, fed and asleep. She was pretty broken." Polly said.

"I hate that, Aunt Polly. Taking the kids? That was not easy but I couldn't have her do what she did to Mike or to Tommy. I witnessed it. She flipped on a thirteen-year-old like a switch. It wasn't fair." Ryan said.

"We haven't had much of an opportunity to talk to her but she's remorseful. She said she hadn't been sleeping well." Polly said.

"Yeah, and she had the flu before I left. It had been hanging on for a while. It was zapping her." Ryan admitted.

"Ryan, I was not going to be the one to tell you this, but here we are. Grace doesn't have the flu…" Polly started but Ryan sprung up with a look of fear in his eyes.

"Is she really sick? What's wrong? Is it like with Hannah?" Ryan questioned. Polly tugged on Ryan's hand and forced him to sit down.

"No. I understand that you and Grace didn't plan to have anymore kids? Ryan, she's pregnant and she's convinced that you won't want the baby." Polly said and then paused so Ryan could absorb what she was saying. It took a second and a few eye blinks but he finally smiled.

"That's not so bad. I wish she had told me, though." Ryan said.

"She is scared." Polly said.

"Of my reaction? Aunt Polly, I love my kids. No, this one isn't planned on but it isn't like it's a bad thing. How far along is she?" Ryan asked.

"Ten weeks. I made her appointment today. She hasn't been. She is starting to show a little. Has a little baby bump." Polly said with a smile. The baby might not be planned for and maybe not wanted, but that didn't mean that she and Mike couldn't be excited about it. It had given Mike a little boost that he had needed since he had had his 'episode.'

"So far along already. She must have really been worried." Ryan said.

"Didn't you notice? Ryan, a woman's body changes. You know that." Polly asked.

"We have four kids under six. Maybe I noticed a few things but the last several weeks has been stressful. The real tip-offs…the ones that Grace has always had before; tender breasts, acne in weird places; we didn't exactly have time for. We aren't as…involved as you and Mike." Ryan deadpanned. All the kids knew that before Mike and Polly's separation; they had a very active sex life.

"True. Course, we aren't so much anymore. I moved back in because of Mike's heart attack. We didn't really fix anything; just shoved it down. Doesn't mean that I don't love him and don't want things to work out but we still have work to do before we get there and that is only if Mike is okay. He still gets exhausted easily and I don't want to speed his heart up." Polly explained.

"Am I seriously having a sex talk with my aunt about her and my father-in-law? Aunt Polly, we are not normal." Ryan said. They had always had an unusual relationship.

"My point is, I think you and Grace will find your way back to each other. First step is; talk to her. She's at my house. I don't think she and Mike can fix anything until you and she fix things. She's too broken without you." Polly said.

"You know, we aren't so different. You and me? I split up from Grace and took our kids, mostly to get her attention. You split up from Mike and took your kids to get his attention. What I do know is that you and Mike will get back to what you were. Maybe not so active in the bedroom but the relationship will come back." Ryan said. Apparently, Ryan felt like giving his own advice.

"Yeah. Given. So, are you following me home?" Polly asked.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll ask Mom and Dad if…" Ryan started.

"Already done. Come on." Polly said as she stood up and pulled Ryan with her. Ryan had reacted exactly how she figured he would.


	25. Chapter 25

**Too Many Chapters**

Chapter 26

Mike watched Ryan and Grace talking down at the dock. Occasionally, she would flail her arms out like she was trying to make a point, and he would calmly put his hands on her shoulders and kiss her forehead. Mike remembered similar arguments with Christine. He'd be the one flailing his arms and Christine would calmly put her hands on his shoulders.

"You shouldn't be watching them. They have to work through this on their own." Polly said from the dining room where she had her reference books spread out.

"I know. Just curious." Mike said as he turned away from the French Doors.

"Let it be a surprise. In the meantime, you and I both know the kids are not thrilled with Grace being here and you also know they are justified. Tommy is in his room. He hasn't voiced anything because he would never, but I think he needs to understand why you are doing this." Polly said.

"Because she's my daughter and its my job to love her unconditionally." Mike said.

"I know that, but Tommy is a young boy who idolizes his father. Of all our kids, Tommy wants to be the most like you. Grace hurt someone that Tommy loves so much. I think that bothers Tommy more then what Grace said to him. So that Tommy can regain a relationship with his sister, you need to bite the bullet on this. You and I both know that as important as your relationships are with individual kids is, their relationships with each other are equally important." Polly said.

"True. I'll go talk to him. I didn't realize how he felt." Mike said.

"Like I said, he hasn't voiced anything. It's Tommy. He's an open book." Polly said.

"Can you read their minds?" Mike asked, teasing.

"I know my kids. And I know you have something to nip in the bud with Tommy. Just remember, Mike; he's a really good kid and he really loves you a lot." Polly said.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike said before leaning down and kissing her forehead. He squeezed her hand and then walked to Tommy's room. The door was open and Mike looked in for a minute. Tommy was sitting on his bed, reading a book. Like his mom, Tommy was smart. He was also an athlete but didn't have the passion for sports that Matty had had. Matty and Tommy were especially close, but Tommy had good relationships with all of his family. The one sibling he had always struggled with was Grace but by the time they Mike and Polly had Tommy and Rebecca, Grace was already living alone and moved to Spain shortly after their birth.

"I see you there, Dad." Tommy finally spoke up. Mike walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Tommy. He wasn't quite sure how to even begin. Polly was better at this stuff. "What'd I do wrong?" Tommy asked.

"Nothing. You did nothing wrong. Listen, they told me what Grace said to you at the hospital and now she's here. I understand if you're upset." Mike started. Tommy shook his head and stood up, pacing around.

"That isn't why I'm upset with Grace. I get it. You love her and she's your daughter. But she acts like we all owe her something. Because of us, she didn't get to have the life she had planned on. Me, Gabby, Rebecca and Charlotte weren't even born then and you were serving your country. She made the choice she made. It isn't our fault. She acts like you owe her everything and her love is like the prize on the bottom of the cereal box. You love spending our birthdays with us. All of us kids know that. She took that and took advantage of it. It wasn't fair at all and she almost killed you. She still doesn't seem to care about that. Has she even apologized for it?" Tommy asked.

"Well, no; but…" Mike said.

"Dad, I really understand it. I would like to think if any of us had done that, you'd have the same response but the truth is, none of us would and you wouldn't. Its like you give her a free pass for everything." Tommy said, and Mike lost his temper at the one person that didn't deserve it.

"Thomas Paul; enough! What do you want me to do? She's my daughter and she's had a rough go. She's pregnant and…" Mike yelled as he stood up.

"Mike, stop. Tommy, could you go in the living room. I'll talk to Dad." Polly said calmly. She had apparently heard everything and Tommy pushed past her. He had given Mike a weary look and all Mike could hope for was that he hadn't pushed Polly and his kids away again. "You really have to stop doing that." Polly said as she pushed the door close.

"I get it. I screwed up again, but he shouldn't have questioned…" Mike started but Polly held her hand up.

"No, Mike, he had every right and he did have a point. I heard it all. I don't doubt in the least that you love all your kids equally. You do tend to just excuse everything Grace does. Part of this is my making, I put the whole verbal abuse idea in her head but this started years ago. You have apologized, taken care of Grace's kids for her so she could go to school and attain the life she wanted, and have paid countless bills for her. It never clicked with Grace, so, as your wife; I'm saying it ends now or it will be at the cost of your relationship with the other kids. I am not saying you can't have a relationship with her. I want that for you and her. I also am not saying that you can't spend time with your grandchildren and I am not saying that if she gets in a bind, we can't help her. What I am saying, is somehow; you are going to have to make it clear to Grace that you are done paying for her choice. She made the decision she did, and thank God she did, but that was nearly nineteen years ago. Enough is enough." Polly said. She had said everything in a quiet voice, that told Mike she meant business.

"But how? I don't want to stress her." Mike asked.

"She's pregnant, not feeble. I'm more worried about stressing you right now." Polly said.

"I'm fine. And…Tommy?" Mike asked.

"I'll talk to him, but go in, tell him he was right, you're sorry and you love him." Polly said simply.

"You make it seem so simple." Mike remarked.

"It is. Oh, yuck, he's putting dirty laundry under his bed again. You go tell him you love him and that he's in trouble with me again." Polly said. Mike had noticed the smell too. It was one of Tommy's little habits that Polly hated.

"And I'll tell him while I'm at it, that his mom really loves him too." Mike said with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Polly said as she pulled laundry out. Mike caught her and pulled her into a hug. They still hadn't fixed their marriage and it was like an albatross they both carried around their necks.

"I love you." Mike said simply.

"I love you too, but you still have to talk to Tommy and Grace." Polly told him.

"I know. Just hope it doesn't push her out the door." Mike said.

"I think Ryan will help you with that." Polly said with a wink as she pushed him out the door. He leaned back and gave her a short kiss before walking into the living area. Tommy was sitting on the couch, looking out the front window. Mike walked over and sat down next to him.

"Tommy, I am sorry. You were right about Grace and I didn't realize how things seemed. Your mom reiterated the point you were trying to make when I interrupted you. I am going to have to have a painful conversation with her at some point, soon. Just know, I am well aware of Grace's failings and I love all of you kids the exact same amount. I'm serious, son. You didn't deserve me lashing out at you. I respect you, for being so loyal. That's not normal for kids your age." Mike said. He didn't want to overdo his apology. Tommy had stayed staring out the window the entire time.

"Its okay." Tommy finally said.

"No, son. It isn't but I appreciate you trying to say it is. Now, you know Mom and I really love you, right?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. I love you guys too." Tommy said.

"Well, Mom discovered your stash of dirty clothes under your bed. She has a lot to do today, so you're going to go in and volunteer to do your laundry, plus any other that needs washed. If you need help, I'll help you. Clear?" Mike asked.

"Yes, sir. I don't know how to do laundry though." Tommy said.

"Time you learned. C'mon." Mike said. They both stood up and walked towards the laundry room. As Mike passed by the French Doors, he looked out. Grace and Ryan were talking on the porch swing, much more calmly. Hopefully, they were working things through. "So, what were you going to do when you ran out of clothes?" Mike asked.

"Start wearing Matty's." Tommy said.

"He's bigger than you? Plus, what about his underwear? Were you going to wear his underwear? That's gross!" Mike teased.

"I didn't think about the underwear." Tommy admitted. All Mike could do was shake his head at him. They walked in the laundry room, where Polly was standing in the middle of several piles of laundry, trying to figure out where to start, something Mike would struggle with.

"Tommy is going to have a little lesson in doing the laundry. You go work on your sermon." Mike said.

"Alright, Tommy; whites don't go with the jeans and…" Polly started.

"I got this, Mom. You go ahead." Tommy said. He bent down to pick something up, which happened to be one of Rebecca's training bras. "What is this?" Tommy asked, showing it to Polly.

"Your dad will explain that to you. You got this." Polly said with a mischievous smile. She stepped out and all Mike could do was rub his face. He wasn't prepared for that conversation.


	26. Chapter 26

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 27

Ryan had to work and the kids were at Maggie and Alec's, so Grace stayed at Mike and Polly's again. She had shut herself into Hannah's old bedroom and wasn't talking. Polly had spoken with Ryan and he had said that he and Grace were at a stalemate but didn't allude what the stalemate was. Mike knew that Ryan would not abandon his pregnant wife or unborn child, but he also knew his very stubborn daughter. She wouldn't give an inch. When she didn't come out for dinner, Mike took it upon himself to fix her a tray. Polly helped him open the door and he set the tray on the bed. Grace was sitting on the window seat, watching the younger kids play. Polly left Mike after an encouraging look.

"Grace, you need to eat." Mike instructed.

"Because you are more concerned about this baby?" Grace asked, obviously in a mood.

"Yes. That baby you're carrying cannot make choices yet, so you must eat and drink. I also want you to eat and drink." Mike said.

"I love how everyone keeps telling me what I have to do." Grace remarked.

"Grace, do you want this baby or not? You have been so concerned about Ryan not accepting it; but no one has asked you." Mike asked.

"Its just one more thing to get in the way." Grace said.

"In the way of what? Grace, I am not feeling up to solving a riddle. I did just have a heart attack less then a week ago." Mike said. He knew it would incite Grace but he was tired of her beating around a bush.

"For the last nineteen years, every time I think I'm going to have a break and can go back to school or achieve something more then being the wife and mom; something happens. First, I raised your kids and then I got married. I went across the world because that is what I was supposed to do as a wife. I come back to a family that barely includes me unless it involves my kids and a dead-end job. Next year, Andy and Christa were going to be in preschool and I was going to go back to school again, but instead, I'll have a newborn." Grace said as she stood up and stood toe to toe with Mike.

"Grace, everything you have listed, you made the choice to do. You choose to raise Hannah and Matty and I thank God everyday you did. You also made the choice to get married so young. Ryan would have waited. You choose to go to Spain with him. You could have come home for a visit but you choose to be gone for five years. Yes, the kids moved on. They had to. I have offered to pay your tuition and for books, and to watch the kids so you can go to school, but you start the semester and then don't finish it. Grace, I love you. That won't change but I can't keep up like this. I have other kids to think of. You need to decide if you want this baby and you need to figure out what you're going to do. I won't say that I've helped you all I will, but the starting and stopping has to stop. If you don't want to be a wife or mother anymore, walk away. The kids are young, you can give Ryan full custody and within a year or so, he'll fall in love with someone who will love those kids and will be committed to them. If you are going to do it, do it while they are young enough that it won't hurt them so badly. Ryan loves you. He is willing to stay married to you and work through everything, but you have to do that too." Mike said.

"I'm…I'm not walking out on my kids." Grace said.

"Good, because that it what it sounded like. Grace, you are so loved and I appreciate everything you've done for me but I cannot continue to pay for it. You made the decision to raise Hannah and Matty almost nineteen years ago and I have been back in the picture for thirteen. Polly and I will help you but I cannot continue at this rate. Tommy made a remark this morning that has stuck with me all day. He said that it's like you hold us all accountable for the decisions you made and treat your love like it's the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. I don't know if that is what you intended but he was right. Sweetheart, you need to do some serious soul-searching. You are more than welcome to stay here but you do need to eat and drink. Call in sick tomorrow and stay put. Think, pray, whatever but you have to do it. It isn't just about you, its about this baby, Ryan, your kids, me, Polly, our kids. We all love you but this cannot continue." Mike said and then gave Grace a kiss on the forehead. He left the room, completely exhausted.

Polly went in to check on Grace about an hour later, talking to her for a bit, and brought the food tray back in. Grace had eaten and drank everything. Polly didn't disclose what was said during their conversation so Mike dedicated the night to his other kids, playing a game of cards with Matty and reading to Charlotte before tucking her in.

Grace did take Mike's advice and called in the next day, but only because Polly had gotten her an appointment at an OB/GYN. Ryan picked her up and all Mike could hope for was that hearing the baby's heartbeat and even having an ultrasound would make Grace form an attachment.

Mike was still worn out from his own health issues and the tense situation with Grace didn't help. Under Polly and Matty's watchful and loving eyes, he spent the day resting on the couch. Part of the time, Rebecca sat with him and other times; Charlotte cuddled up.

Later in the afternoon, Maggie dropped off Grace and Ryan's four kids. Christa was all about Polly but Andrew, or Andy as Grace tended to call him; was Mike's little buddy and consented to laying down with Mike for a nap. As Mike was settling, the little boy started crying.

"Andrew, what's wrong?" Mike asked.

"I miss my mommy." Andrew said.

"She and your daddy will be home soon. She misses you too." Mike said, hoping he wasn't lying.

"Are you sure?" Andrew asked. He had Ryan's coloring but had Grace's large brown eyes, reminding Mike of Christine.

"I'm positive. Your mommy loves you a lot." Mike said as he cuddled the little boy close. Thankfully, Andrew fell asleep quickly and Polly had laid Christa down with him so she could finish her sermon. Mike didn't get much sleep but enjoyed the time cuddling with two of his grandkids.

He had fallen back asleep when he heard Grace and Ryan come in during the late afternoon. Mikey and Hope were both clamoring for their mom's attention and the twins had woke up. Grace's whole attitude had changed, she seemed upbeat and happy. Something had changed.

"I'm going to take the kids back to Mom and Dad's and pack up. We'll be going back home tonight. Grace was wanting to talk to you, Mike." Ryan explained quietly.

"Good, everything ok with the doctor?" Mike asked, wanting to let Ryan and Grace tell the kids about the baby.

"Yeah, all is good. Strong heartbeat and we had an ultrasound." Grace said quietly.

"Babe, I'll meet you at the house." Ryan said, before giving Grace a kiss and collecting his own kids. He obviously was pushing Grace to have the conversation with Mike.

"Bye, guys. I love you." Mike said as he bent down and gave each of his grandkids a hug and kiss. Polly had also stepped in and got her 'Christa hug' and gave the other kids their hugs and kisses. Ryan and the kids were quickly out the door and Grace followed Mike out to the deck and they settled on the porch swing. For a moment, Grace was quiet; but when she did finally start talking there was tears in her eyes.

"Dad, I…am so sorry. I…didn't realize how terrible I've been to all of you. What I did was completely unforgiveable. I don't even know how to begin to apologize." Grace said. She had completely broken down and Mike pulled her to where her head was on his chest.

"Shh. Its okay. Like I said yesterday, we all love you. You do owe an apology to the other kids, especially Tommy. This has all traumatized them, especially my heart attack." Mike told her as he rubbed her shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. I definitely crossed a line. I know you just wanted to spend my birthday with me. I…shouldn't have done that. I don't know how you could even look at me after that." Grace said.

"You did. That hurt, obviously. It hurt them more. So, I purposely didn't say much around the kids, but is everything okay? You and Ryan? This baby?" Mike asked.

"Part of the reason we were gone so long was we also went to a counseling appointment. I'm not exactly proud of being in marriage or individual counseling but it was one of Ryan's conditions. As far as the baby is concerned, all is okay. I was wrong on how far along I am. I'm twelve, almost thirteen weeks. Too early to know the gender, but here's the ultrasound picture." Grace said as she pulled the picture out of her purse. She handed it to Mike and he smiled at it before handing it back.

"Ryan seems genuinely happy about it. What about you?" Mike asked.

"Before, I wasn't but then when I heard the heartbeat and saw that blob on the screen, something just clicked. And yes, we are calling the baby Blob because we don't think we're going to find out if it's a boy or girl." Grace said with a smile.

"As long as you don't name it Blob, I don't mind. If you do, I'm invoking Gampa rights and naming that poor kid myself." Mike teased.

"Don't worry. Ryan already bought a baby name book. I guess I fooled myself into thinking he was going to not accept the baby, when it was me that was not loving the idea. The counselor made a remark that it wasn't uncommon for parents to have a surprise baby after their supposed last baby goes to school because they get baby fever; I just got a jump on that." Grace admitted.

"I think you will be shocked how big of a blessing this baby will be. We weren't prepared for Charlotte and she wasn't planned for, but now that we have her, we couldn't imagine life without her." Mike said.

"That is what Ryan said and we are a lot younger than what you and Polly were when you had Charlotte. I do find it a little funny, Matty can be considered a surprise baby for you and Mom and then several years later, you had Charlotte with Polly." Grace commented.

"I just wish your mom would have had a chance to know Matty." Mike remarked. It was something he had been thinking about a lot as Matty had made his recovery.

"Me too. I am worried about how Matty will react to the news of this baby. I don't want to hurt him." Grace said.

"You aren't going to be able to hide it much longer. You're already showing a little and Matty is observant. Do you want me to talk to him first?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. I know this may hit him hard and he's still upset with me." Grace said.

"I'll talk to him but you do still owe him an apology. Grace, I don't think you realize how much my heart attack traumatized the kids, including Matty. They all love you, but yes; they are angry. You are not completely responsible for what happened to me, I had been under a lot of stress for several weeks." Mike explained.

"But had I not said those things, you wouldn't have had a heart attack." Grace said quietly. She had tears in her voice again and Mike put his arm back around her.

"That's unknowable. It could have happened at any point. I wish I could tell you that it was bad timing but it did happen then for a reason. Look on the bright side, it did get Polly and the kids back here, although we haven't really worked anything out." Mike said.

"I thought you had. I know you guys seem okay." Grace asked, obviously confused.

"She was pretty traumatized too. There are still a lot of issues to work out but between me still not feeling well, Matty's recovery, and Max's graduation next week, there just hasn't been time." Mike remarked.

"What's the plan for his graduation?" Grace asked as she stood up and then helped Mike up.

"Polly, Maggie and Gabby are going up. I wish I could. I really hate missing it but with Matty, I need to stay home." Mike said. It made him sad because he felt like he was neglecting Max.

"What if…Dad, I really think you need to go. For Max and because you need some time with Polly. Ryan and I could stay here. Could you fly with them?" Grace asked.

"I could and I could get a hotel room for Polly and me. I have to admit; I would really love to be there when Max graduated." Mike said.

"Make the reservations, Dad. We'll stay here." Grace said. Before Mike opened the back door into the house, he pulled her into another hug. He knew she would be feeling some guilt for a while and could only hope his other kids would forgive her.

"Thanks, sweetie. I love you." Mike said.

"I love you too, Dad. Even when I act like a spoiled brat." Grace said. All Mike could do was laugh, but there was some truth to it. Grace had the tendency of acting like a brat.

They walked into the house and Mike noticed Tommy helping Polly in the kitchen. Mike nodded at Grace who gave him a scared look but tugged on Tommy's hand and pulled him towards the bedrooms. Polly gave Mike a look but he stopped her from saying anything by giving her a passionate kiss.

"Mmm…that was nice, but where'd it come from?" Polly asked.

"Just wanted to distract you. Grace wants me to go with you all next week for Max's graduation. She and Ryan will stay here. I really want to go." Mike said.

"Max was pretty disappointed that you wouldn't make it so he'll be thrilled to see you." Polly remarked.

"I thought I would get us a hotel room, Maggie and Gabby can share. It'll give us some one-on-one time that we haven't gotten." Mike said.

"True. I know we still have stuff to work out. I just moved back in. Was afraid if I questioned it too much, we would end up fighting. I didn't want to stress you and I also knew that me walking out and taking the kids with me, then having you served probably contributed to your heart attack." Polly said. She also had tears in her voice and Mike kissed the top of her head.

"A lot contributed to that. It wasn't all you and when it counted you were there for me. I would have been lost this last week without you. Course, the same goes for the last thirteen years." Mike said as he landed a kiss on her lips.

"Likewise." Polly said.

"I do have to talk to Matty. Grace is nervous about how he'll react to her news." Mike said quietly.

"Kids, let's go swim." Polly said, and their younger kids, except for Tommy followed her into the bedroom wing to change into their swim gear. Mike sat down on the couch closer to Matty and realized how tired he was. He just had to have one more conversation before he could take another nap.

"You okay?" Matty asked.

"I am but I needed to speak with you." Mike said. He could tell Matty seemed nervous and he needed to just get to the point but maybe he should have waited until Grace left. It was too late now.

"What's wrong?" Matty asked, obviously worried about Mike.

"I'm okay, just tired. No, I needed to talk to you about Grace. Part of her mood lately has been because she is pregnant. We were concerned about your reaction because of Tara and the baby you lost." Mike said, just getting to the point. Matty looked away from Mike, and Mike could hear him gulping a couple times, as if trying to swallow back his emotions. "Son let it out. It isn't healthy to hold it in." Mike said as he put an arm around Matty and pulled him to him. Matty put his face into Mike's shoulder and began sobbing quietly. All Mike could really do was hold him. Polly came out in her swimsuit and cover-up and immediately noticed.

"Is he okay?" She asked quietly. Mike shook his head and concentrated back on Matty.

"Can you get the kids out without them noticing?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Polly said as she patted Matty's shoulder and headed back into the bedrooms. Mike concentrated back onto Matty who was trying desperately to calm himself down. He finally sat up and wiped the tears.

"I thought I would just get over it." Matty said.

"I still think of that baby your mom and I lost. She got pregnant again quickly, but it still hurts. Matty, its okay to still hurt and I wish I could tell you that it would just go away. God, I wish that, but it won't. I know that for a fact." Mike explained.

"If it hurts so bad now, what's it going to be like when she has the baby?" Matty asked.

"It'll hurt but we will get you through it." Mike said.

"I guess." Matty said.

"Matty, its okay to not be okay. Grace understands that you might struggle with this. She's worried about you. She didn't tell us for quite awhile because of that." Mike explained.

"How far along is she?" Matty asked.

"Almost thirteen weeks." Mike told him.

"Doctor Miller told me that it would help me if I named the baby. If I have a name for it, its easier to deal with." Matty said.

"Have you?" Mike asked.

"Did you with the one that you and my first mom lost?" Matty asked.

"No. I suppose I should. Lucas' death has always overshadowed everything." Mike said.

"If you name your baby, I'll name mine." Matty said.

"Do you think it was a boy or girl?" Mike asked.

"I think it was a girl, I don't know why though." Matty said.

"I think mine was a boy. I always have." Mike admitted.

"Christiana Polly." Matty said simply.

"Pretty name. I like it. Does that feel better?" Mike asked.

"A little. Still hurts." Matty admitted.

"I don't have a name picked out but I will think about it. You going to be okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I think so." Matty said. Mike heard Grace leaving Tommy's room. Polly had quietly gotten the kids out a few minutes before. Both Grace and Tommy came out with big smiles on their faces which made Mike feel better. Tommy headed outside and Grace had her purse in hand, ready to leave. She walked into the living room and bent down and gave Mike a kiss on the cheek, followed by giving Matty a hug.

"I'm going home to Ryan and the kids, but you need to make that reservation so you can see Max graduate." Grace said.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike told her.

"Love you guys. Get some rest, Dad. I can tell your worn out." Grace said before standing up and leaving. Mike also stood up and walked to his recliner. He grabbed his iPad and was able to get a plane reservation and then got a really nice hotel room for him and Polly. For the first time in weeks, his family was starting to come back together.


	27. Chapter 27

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 28

A week had passed, and Mike and Polly were getting ready for their trip to Chicago to see Max graduate. Mike spent the week resting. He still tired very easily and it had been emotional since Mike had told Matty about Grace's pregnancy. They had decided not to tell Max about Mike coming to the graduation, wanting to surprise him.

Thankfully, it was going to be somewhat restful, allowing Mike plenty of time to sleep when he needed to. They would have plenty of time to visit with Max and to show Gabby around the city that Mike had been born and raised in. His parents had died many years before the Red Flu and as far as he had been able to find out, Christine's only living relative, her mother Elizabeth, had died during the Red Flu. Record keeping had been shoddy though.

The flight itself wore Mike out. As soon as they got checked into the hotel, Mike settled in his and Polly's room. It was across the hall and three doors down from Maggie and Gabby's room; giving Mike and Polly the privacy they needed to work things out. Polly had room service brought in and after supper, Maggie and Gabby went back to their room, leaving Mike and Polly to themselves. Problem being was that Mike was too tired to really have an emotionally charged conversation. Polly walked back in from her shower in a nightgown that Mike hadn't seen.

"That's nice." Mike said.

"I thought you'd like it, but you are tired." Polly said as she crawled in next to him.

"I am. Sorry." Mike said as they settled. Polly put her head on his chest and kissed him.

"Its okay. I do want you to save some energy for Friday. I got you and Max tickets to the Cubs game. They're playing the Cardinals so it'll be a good game." Polly said. Mike gave her a kiss.

"Thank you. It sounds like fun." Mike said.

"What's on your mind?" Polly asked.

"I'm thinking about checking the assisted living place that Christine's mom was living in. I never found out if she had lived through the Red Flu and if she did, she would be in her late seventies. I'm just curious." Mike said.

"You and the girls don't talk about her." Polly remarked.

"Sandra was a hard woman. She was really tough on Christine, and never forgave Christine for marrying me. Thought I was below Christine and hated me moving Christine and the kids away." Mike explained.

"I've seen a few pictures of her in the albums. Just my impression, but to me; Christine seemed scared of her." Polly remarked.

"She was. Christine had some self-image issues, especially after she had the kids. I remember, a week after she gave birth to Hannah, Sandra showed up at our house telling her that she needed to start working out. She was horrible. Told Christine she was fat. Part of me joining the Navy had to do with knowing that I would be able to move Christine and the girls away from her. I didn't want my girls to have those same issues that Christine had." Mike told her.

"And yet, you're hoping to find her?" Polly asked.

"Yeah. Its stupid. I can't imagine that she is alive." Mike said with a yawn.

"We'll check that out tomorrow. Anyone else you want to look up?" Polly asked.

"My old partner died. I figure a lot of the people I know died. I may go to the old district that I worked out of. Depending on how I feel. I left that part of my life long before the Red Flu." Mike explained.

"While you're doing that, I was going to take Gabby to get a pedicure. Maybe a little shopping here close but I can go with you." Polly said

"No, I want Gabby to have a good time and she won't if she's in the hotel the entire time. I'll be okay." Mike said but could tell that Polly was not convinced.

"Would you be willing to go in the afternoon or just the morning? I don't want you to face that alone." Polly suggested. Mike didn't want to cause an undue argument.

"Sure. Maggie will stay with Gabby?" Mike asked.

"I'm sure she will. You can barely keep your eyes open. Go to sleep. I love you." Polly said as she gave him another kiss. Mike scooted down and gently rubbed Polly's back until she fell asleep. He didn't quite understand why he wanted to find Sandra. She had hated him with a passion and caused a lot of problems between him and Christine. As fragile as Matty was, he didn't need a naysayer. For that matter, neither did Grace.

Mike fell asleep and slept soundly. It was relaxing, knowing that even if Matty needed something, Mike and Polly had a few nights off. Since his heart attack, Polly had taken care of most of Matty's needs, other then his showers, and Tommy helped with those, with Mike's close supervision. It made Mike feel incredibly guilty, that he was enjoying the time away. He loved Matty deeply and hurt that he was hurting so much, but Mike had needed a break.

They all slept in and met downstairs to eat breakfast. Gabby was more interested in the architecture of the buildings and not shopping and pedicures. Maggie planned on taking her around the block to look around while Mike and Polly went to the assisted living facility to see about Sandra and check Mike's former workplace. The next day would be all about Max.

Mike and Polly had a rented vehicle and drove out to the assisted living facility that Sandra had lived in before the Red Flu. Mike remembered her being a difficult patient but he would not allow Sandra to live with them, not that Christine had ever asked. Mike and Polly walked to the front desk and waited for the kind-faced reception to get off the phone. Finally, she hung up and gave them a sweet smile.

"How can I help?" The receptionist asked.

"My name is Mike Slattery and this is my wife, Polly. At one time, my former mother-in-law was a patient here. Pre-Red Flu. I'm not sure if she died during or since. Her name was Sandra Matthews." Mike said and the receptionist typed the name into her computer. She offered them another smile.

"She actually is still a resident here. I thought that name sounded familiar. She's…" The receptionist paused, trying to find the right word.

"Difficult?" Mike suggested.

"Uh, yes. If you want to visit; her room is 4b. If you don't want to, I completely understand." The receptionist said.

"I will. Thank you." Mike said as he and Polly walked away. For all that Mike had been through, he was scared of Sandra.

"Mike, if I need to stay out here, I can. She may not be very accepting of your second wife." Polly said.

"No. Unless you want to stay out here, I want you here with me. If it gets uncomfortable, I understand if you want to walk away." Mike said as Polly squeezed his hand. They had reached the room Sandra was in and Mike gulped before walking in. Polly had a supportive hand on his back and Mike finally spoke when he seen Sandra in a recliner, watching TV. "Sandra? Its Mike, Christine's…husband." Mike said. He hadn't been Christine's husband for nineteen years but it was the only way he could think to introduce himself.

"About time you showed up." Sandra said harshly.

"Uh. Yeah, sorry. I assume you know that Christine and Lucas died?" Mike asked, hoping he wasn't breaking bad news.

"Yeah. That's old news. Who is this?" Sandra said, pointing towards Polly.

"I remarried, thirteen years ago. This is Polly." Mike introduced Polly, who leaned forward to shake Sandra's hand.

"You always did prefer the chunky ones." Sandra said as she shook Polly's hand. All Mike could do was roll his eyes. It was annoying.

"Polly and Christine's sizes were always fine with me. I don't know if you knew, but Christine was pregnant…" Mike started.

"I know all this. You treated her like a baby factory." Sandra said. Mike's temper was getting the best of him.

"Christine wanted a big family and if anything, I stopped her from having more kids. She was a good mom." Mike said. It was awkward, defending Christine to her mother in front of Polly, but Mike couldn't stand to hear Sandra dog the mother of four of his children.

"You act like she was all sweet and innocent. I'm here to tell you, she wasn't. That last brat that she died having isn't even your kid, and you and I both know, I always doubted that Hannah was yours. Grace and Lucas looked too much like you. Christine would spread her legs for anyone, and you know how she was about that former sergeant of yours." Sandra said. Mike stood up because he was tired of hearing it.

"Enough. In case you are interested, Grace is married to man named Ryan, who happens to be a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient and they have four kids, and she's pregnant with their fifth. They both work at the local Sheriff's Department. He's a deputy and she works in records. Hannah is married to a man named Sam. They recently got back from a humanitarian trip that lasted approximately four years. They were in Africa and the Middle East. They've adopted a little boy named Henry who is HIV positive. Matthew, or Matty, the baby Christine died having graduated high school, and had a full ride scholarship to college until about a month ago. He and his girlfriend were in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. She and their unborn baby died, and Matty had to have his leg amputated just above the knee. He also has a traumatic brain injury but he's doing good. I figured you would be interested in your own grandchildren and how they are doing." Mike commented.

"What fascinates me is that you are so interested in them, especially Matthew. Hannah's paternity was always questionable and you never liked her, but the boy?" Sandra said.

"Grace raised Matty the first five years of his life and I've had him since. I have no reason to question his paternity and besides, Christine was a good person. My ex-sergeant had an affinity for her, but Christine was loyal. She didn't cheat." Mike said firmly.

"Do the math. She came back to visit before you deployed. He looked her up and then knocked her up. She probably led you to believe the kid was yours. Does he look like you? Does Hannah?" Sandra asked.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. I love Matty and Hannah. I was going to let them know where you were, but they don't need this negativity. Especially Matty. He's already lost too much. He doesn't need you planting a seed that he isn't my kid." Mike said before walking out. Polly followed him but didn't speak until they reached the rental vehicle.

"Mike, is there any truth to it?" Polly finally asked.

"My ex-sergeant always had a weird affinity for Christine, but no; I don't think she ever slept with him. Christine wasn't the sort." Mike said.

"Are you sure? You don't seem convinced." Polly asked. Mike's blood was boiling.

"You read the letter Christine wrote. What do you think?" Mike asked.

"I think that if the question ever come up, she wanted to make sure you knew that they were your kids." Polly said.

"They don't look much like me." Mike said. He was driving towards the hotel but was getting agitated.

"So, are you going to tell them this? Mike, you love those kids and the ramifications of this, especially where Matty is concerned is huge. I have to be honest, as much as it might hurt you, maybe swallowing it is the best answer." Polly advised. It made sense.

"So, do I let them believe their grandmother is dead?" Mike asked.

"Their grandmother will be toxic to them and will only cause problems. I don't Matty can afford to have that in his life right now, plus; he can't afford to lose you. If you tell him that you might not be his biological father, even if you tell him that you love him and always will, he'll think he is losing you. If he loses you, you will lose him. He needs you." Polly said.

"I have no idea what to do." Mike said.

"You're worn out again. Its only ten. How about we go back to the hotel, you rest up for a bit and we'll take Gabby out after lunch?" Polly suggested.

"That sounds good." Mike admitted. They drove back to the hotel in silence and Mike laid back down in his and Polly's room, while Polly met up with Maggie and Gabby. While he rested, he tried to figure out what to do. Polly was right about one thing, Matty had lost too much already.


	28. Chapter 28

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 28

A week had passed, and Mike and Polly were getting ready for their trip to Chicago to see Max graduate. Mike spent the week resting. He still tired very easily and it had been emotional since Mike had told Matty about Grace's pregnancy. They had decided not to tell Max about Mike coming to the graduation, wanting to surprise him.

Thankfully, it was going to be somewhat restful, allowing Mike plenty of time to sleep when he needed to. They would have plenty of time to visit with Max and to show Gabby around the city that Mike had been born and raised in. His parents had died many years before the Red Flu and as far as he had been able to find out, Christine's only living relative, her mother Elizabeth, had died during the Red Flu. Record keeping had been shoddy though.

The flight itself wore Mike out. As soon as they got checked into the hotel, Mike settled in his and Polly's room. It was across the hall and three doors down from Maggie and Gabby's room; giving Mike and Polly the privacy they needed to work things out. Polly had room service brought in and after supper, Maggie and Gabby went back to their room, leaving Mike and Polly to themselves. Problem being was that Mike was too tired to really have an emotionally charged conversation. Polly walked back in from her shower in a nightgown that Mike hadn't seen.

"That's nice." Mike said.

"I thought you'd like it, but you are tired." Polly said as she crawled in next to him.

"I am. Sorry." Mike said as they settled. Polly put her head on his chest and kissed him.

"Its okay. I do want you to save some energy for Friday. I got you and Max tickets to the Cubs game. They're playing the Cardinals so it'll be a good game." Polly said. Mike gave her a kiss.

"Thank you. It sounds like fun." Mike said.

"What's on your mind?" Polly asked.

"I'm thinking about checking the assisted living place that Christine's mom was living in. I never found out if she had lived through the Red Flu and if she did, she would be in her late seventies. I'm just curious." Mike said.

"You and the girls don't talk about her." Polly remarked.

"Sandra was a hard woman. She was really tough on Christine, and never forgave Christine for marrying me. Thought I was below Christine and hated me moving Christine and the kids away." Mike explained.

"I've seen a few pictures of her in the albums. Just my impression, but to me; Christine seemed scared of her." Polly remarked.

"She was. Christine had some self-image issues, especially after she had the kids. I remember, a week after she gave birth to Hannah, Sandra showed up at our house telling her that she needed to start working out. She was horrible. Told Christine she was fat. Part of me joining the Navy had to do with knowing that I would be able to move Christine and the girls away from her. I didn't want my girls to have those same issues that Christine had." Mike told her.

"And yet, you're hoping to find her?" Polly asked.

"Yeah. Its stupid. I can't imagine that she is alive." Mike said with a yawn.

"We'll check that out tomorrow. Anyone else you want to look up?" Polly asked.

"My old partner died. I figure a lot of the people I know died. I may go to the old district that I worked out of. Depending on how I feel. I left that part of my life long before the Red Flu." Mike explained.

"While you're doing that, I was going to take Gabby to get a pedicure. Maybe a little shopping here close but I can go with you." Polly said

"No, I want Gabby to have a good time and she won't if she's in the hotel the entire time. I'll be okay." Mike said but could tell that Polly was not convinced.

"Would you be willing to go in the afternoon or just the morning? I don't want you to face that alone." Polly suggested. Mike didn't want to cause an undue argument.

"Sure. Maggie will stay with Gabby?" Mike asked.

"I'm sure she will. You can barely keep your eyes open. Go to sleep. I love you." Polly said as she gave him another kiss. Mike scooted down and gently rubbed Polly's back until she fell asleep. He didn't quite understand why he wanted to find Sandra. She had hated him with a passion and caused a lot of problems between him and Christine. As fragile as Matty was, he didn't need a naysayer. For that matter, neither did Grace.

Mike fell asleep and slept soundly. It was relaxing, knowing that even if Matty needed something, Mike and Polly had a few nights off. Since his heart attack, Polly had taken care of most of Matty's needs, other then his showers, and Tommy helped with those, with Mike's close supervision. It made Mike feel incredibly guilty, that he was enjoying the time away. He loved Matty deeply and hurt that he was hurting so much, but Mike had needed a break.

They all slept in and met downstairs to eat breakfast. Gabby was more interested in the architecture of the buildings and not shopping and pedicures. Maggie planned on taking her around the block to look around while Mike and Polly went to the assisted living facility to see about Sandra and check Mike's former workplace. The next day would be all about Max.

Mike and Polly had a rented vehicle and drove out to the assisted living facility that Sandra had lived in before the Red Flu. Mike remembered her being a difficult patient but he would not allow Sandra to live with them, not that Christine had ever asked. Mike and Polly walked to the front desk and waited for the kind-faced reception to get off the phone. Finally, she hung up and gave them a sweet smile.

"How can I help?" The receptionist asked.

"My name is Mike Slattery and this is my wife, Polly. At one time, my former mother-in-law was a patient here. Pre-Red Flu. I'm not sure if she died during or since. Her name was Sandra Matthews." Mike said and the receptionist typed the name into her computer. She offered them another smile.

"She actually is still a resident here. I thought that name sounded familiar. She's…" The receptionist paused, trying to find the right word.

"Difficult?" Mike suggested.

"Uh, yes. If you want to visit; her room is 4b. If you don't want to, I completely understand." The receptionist said.

"I will. Thank you." Mike said as he and Polly walked away. For all that Mike had been through, he was scared of Sandra.

"Mike, if I need to stay out here, I can. She may not be very accepting of your second wife." Polly said.

"No. Unless you want to stay out here, I want you here with me. If it gets uncomfortable, I understand if you want to walk away." Mike said as Polly squeezed his hand. They had reached the room Sandra was in and Mike gulped before walking in. Polly had a supportive hand on his back and Mike finally spoke when he seen Sandra in a recliner, watching TV. "Sandra? Its Mike, Christine's…husband." Mike said. He hadn't been Christine's husband for nineteen years but it was the only way he could think to introduce himself.

"About time you showed up." Sandra said harshly.

"Uh. Yeah, sorry. I assume you know that Christine and Lucas died?" Mike asked, hoping he wasn't breaking bad news.

"Yeah. That's old news. Who is this?" Sandra said, pointing towards Polly.

"I remarried, thirteen years ago. This is Polly." Mike introduced Polly, who leaned forward to shake Sandra's hand.

"You always did prefer the chunky ones." Sandra said as she shook Polly's hand. All Mike could do was roll his eyes. It was annoying.

"Polly and Christine's sizes were always fine with me. I don't know if you knew, but Christine was pregnant…" Mike started.

"I know all this. You treated her like a baby factory." Sandra said. Mike's temper was getting the best of him.

"Christine wanted a big family and if anything, I stopped her from having more kids. She was a good mom." Mike said. It was awkward, defending Christine to her mother in front of Polly, but Mike couldn't stand to hear Sandra dog the mother of four of his children.

"You act like she was all sweet and innocent. I'm here to tell you, she wasn't. That last brat that she died having isn't even your kid, and you and I both know, I always doubted that Hannah was yours. Grace and Lucas looked too much like you. Christine would spread her legs for anyone, and you know how she was about that former sergeant of yours." Sandra said. Mike stood up because he was tired of hearing it.

"Enough. In case you are interested, Grace is married to man named Ryan, who happens to be a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient and they have four kids, and she's pregnant with their fifth. They both work at the local Sheriff's Department. He's a deputy and she works in records. Hannah is married to a man named Sam. They recently got back from a humanitarian trip that lasted approximately four years. They were in Africa and the Middle East. They've adopted a little boy named Henry who is HIV positive. Matthew, or Matty, the baby Christine died having graduated high school, and had a full ride scholarship to college until about a month ago. He and his girlfriend were in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. She and their unborn baby died, and Matty had to have his leg amputated just above the knee. He also has a traumatic brain injury but he's doing good. I figured you would be interested in your own grandchildren and how they are doing." Mike commented.

"What fascinates me is that you are so interested in them, especially Matthew. Hannah's paternity was always questionable and you never liked her, but the boy?" Sandra said.

"Grace raised Matty the first five years of his life and I've had him since. I have no reason to question his paternity and besides, Christine was a good person. My ex-sergeant had an affinity for her, but Christine was loyal. She didn't cheat." Mike said firmly.

"Do the math. She came back to visit before you deployed. He looked her up and then knocked her up. She probably led you to believe the kid was yours. Does he look like you? Does Hannah?" Sandra asked.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. I love Matty and Hannah. I was going to let them know where you were, but they don't need this negativity. Especially Matty. He's already lost too much. He doesn't need you planting a seed that he isn't my kid." Mike said before walking out. Polly followed him but didn't speak until they reached the rental vehicle.

"Mike, is there any truth to it?" Polly finally asked.

"My ex-sergeant always had a weird affinity for Christine, but no; I don't think she ever slept with him. Christine wasn't the sort." Mike said.

"Are you sure? You don't seem convinced." Polly asked. Mike's blood was boiling.

"You read the letter Christine wrote. What do you think?" Mike asked.

"I think that if the question ever come up, she wanted to make sure you knew that they were your kids." Polly said.

"They don't look much like me." Mike said. He was driving towards the hotel but was getting agitated.

"So, are you going to tell them this? Mike, you love those kids and the ramifications of this, especially where Matty is concerned is huge. I have to be honest, as much as it might hurt you, maybe swallowing it is the best answer." Polly advised. It made sense.

"So, do I let them believe their grandmother is dead?" Mike asked.

"Their grandmother will be toxic to them and will only cause problems. I don't Matty can afford to have that in his life right now, plus; he can't afford to lose you. If you tell him that you might not be his biological father, even if you tell him that you love him and always will, he'll think he is losing you. If he loses you, you will lose him. He needs you." Polly said.

"I have no idea what to do." Mike said.

"You're worn out again. Its only ten. How about we go back to the hotel, you rest up for a bit and we'll take Gabby out after lunch?" Polly suggested.

"That sounds good." Mike admitted. They drove back to the hotel in silence and Mike laid back down in his and Polly's room, while Polly met up with Maggie and Gabby. While he rested, he tried to figure out what to do. Polly was right about one thing, Matty had lost too much already.


	29. Chapter 29

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 29

Max's graduation was perfect and he was thrilled to see Mike. It felt good to talk to him and to hug him. Mike and Polly were taking him out for dinner with Maggie and Gabby Thursday night and on Friday, Mike and Max were spending the day together while the ladies spent the day shopping and getting pampered.

Mike wouldn't let on how much Sandra's comments had bothered him. He had found himself looking at pictures of Hannah and Matty, trying to find any of his physical characteristics. They both looked so much like Christine and were a lot like her. It was always something he had loved about them. Maybe he had fooled himself into thinking they were his kids. He had to decide if it was worth telling them. He had raised them, supported them and loved them. Did they really need to know? What purpose would it serve to tell them?

As Mike and Polly got ready for bed, Mike realized they hadn't even discussed their marriage or problems. She was wearing the same nightgown as the night before and Mike liked it well enough but his mind was on Sandra's comments.

"Just so you know, I really do like that nightgown on you. You look beautiful." Mike said as they climbed into bed. Polly smiled over at him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thank you but you're not healthy enough for that. I just didn't bring anything else. You are too worried about what Sandra said." Polly said.

"What do you think I should do?" Mike asked.

"I think this is going to weigh on your mind." Polly said.

"Do you think they are mine?" Mike asked.

"I do. In every way that really matters. Mike, you have loved those kids, nurtured them and cared for them. You know that Max and Gabby aren't yours but you love them. Why would Hannah and Matty be different? Besides, when Hannah was ill, you were a close enough match allele wise that you were able to give her your stem cells. Don't you think if she wasn't your daughter, it would have come out then?" Polly asked.

"True." Mike said.

"And besides, Matty has lost everything. His girlfriend and baby, his scholarship and future, and for a while; his mom and siblings. His one steady person, you; cannot walk away from him and if you tell him there is any truth to this, he will automatically think its what is happening. I think it would tip him over the edge. Even if there is an ounce of truth to this, because of all the love you have for Matty, I don't think you can do that to him. My question is, did Christine ever give you any reason to believe this?" Polly asked.

"No. Christine was a devoted wife and mother. That is why I never believed Sandra. I also could never understand why a mother would do that to her own daughter." Mike said.

"My parents weren't so different but I don't know why. Mike, you were married to Christine for a lot of years and had four children with her. I cannot think of a more intimate commitment." Polly said.

"She was a good person. Truly good. You would probably use the word pure hearted. As odd as it seems, I wish you had met her. You two would have gotten along for sure." Mike said. It was odd to talk about his first wife with his second wife.

"I wish I had. Think about what Christine would have wanted. What she would say about these allegations. It seems to me that she would want you to be true to yourself and to your kids." Polly remarked.

"You seem to know a lot about her." Mike teased.

"We both loved the same man and kids. I had to have some sort of connection with her." Polly said as she leaned up and kissed Mike.

"I suppose. I am exhausted." Mike admitted.

"Get to sleep. You have a loaded day tomorrow. Max was sure thrilled to see you." Polly said with a smile.

"I am glad I came. I would have regretted missing it." Mike said as he settled into bed and pulled Polly onto his chest.

"I know. I love you." Polly said and Mike leaned his face down and kissed her again.

"I love you too." Mike said. Polly fell asleep pretty quickly and Mike fought his sleep a little but finally fell into a fitful sleep. It was dream filled and one particular dream woke him up.

_ Mike woke through the old house in Virginia and smiled at all the kid's sports equipment. As he neared the kitchen, he saw Christine swaying back and forth with a baby, one that looked like the pictures Mike had seen of Matty. As soon as she focused on him, she smiled broadly._

_ "You're finally home. We missed you." Christine said as Mike walked up to her and passed Matty to him. _

_ "I missed you all too. What's going on here?" Mike said as he cuddled the baby close. He had never held Matty as a baby, never smelled the sweet baby breath or felt the way his hands searched Mike's face._

_ "It's a dream for you, and if your curious, that is Matty you're holding. The baby you and I lost is with Lucas. He's such a doll. I've named him William by the way, but Lucas calls him Liam. Its catching." Christine said as she tickled Matty's belly._

_ "I like that." Mike said simply. He had been thinking about the name since he and Matty had talked but hadn't come up with anything he liked._

_ "Mike, the answer is; you are their father, in every way. They are yours, biologically. I never stepped out on you and I think deep down, you know that. My mother is vicious and I know I really don't have an opinion in this, but I prefer my kids not have to deal with her. Gracie needs to concentrate on fixing herself, having this baby, and repairing her marriage. Hannah is just figuring out how to be a mom and has a sick little boy to boot. And then there's Matty. Matty's inclination will be that he has to take care of my mom. He can't do that. It would do him no good and she would be too cruel to him. He's a good boy and doesn't deserve that. I understand why you would think about telling them, but please don't." Christine begged. _

_ "I've really made a mess of things, haven't I?" Mike asked._

_ "Nah. I'm glad you looked her up. It shows what type of person you are. As far as the mess; every family has growing pains and you all are about done with this season. Just a piece of advice, forgive Polly. She did what she felt was right for her family. That woman loves you more then you will ever know. She's a good woman." Christine said. _

_ "I thought I had?" Mike asked. He and Christine had sat down on the couch as he cuddled Matty._

_ "There is some deep resentment. Its there with Grace too and you're disappointed in Matty for getting Tara pregnant. Maybe you aren't even aware of it, but I can promise, it'll come out in the worst possible way. What Grace did was wrong and she has to atone for it. Knowing that she drove you into a heart attack will hurt Grace for many years and Matty is disappointed in himself. He's a teenager with strict parents. He was raised around happy couples and wanted that for himself. You remember being a kid his age. The good thing is, Matty was only ever with Tara and he will find another girl, career and will be successful. He will have a big family and will be a really good dad. He only learned from the best." Christine explained. _

_ "So, how do I deal with it?" Mike asked._

_ "Admit it to them. I know that seems silly, but it will work. They need to know how you truly feel. Not the mask you've put on for everyone's benefit. You also need to ask Gabby for her forgiveness. You stepped way out of line. Gabby is a typical young teenage girl and she has begun to think that your love for her is just a commitment. You are committed to Polly and you adopted her and Max, so thinks you only love her because of that. Now, I know better, but you have to fix things. I know you love Polly and the kids and I am quite proud of you. I always wanted a big family and you attained it for me." Christine said with a happy smile. _

_ "Any other advice?" Mike asked. _

_ "Make some time for Hannah. She understands that you've been ill and focused on everything else, but when you get home; go help her put her hardware on her cabinets. She has some happy news of her own that she's been waiting to share. You are her favorite person and she wants to tell you first, aside from Sam. You are making that too hard on her. And another thing, wake Polly up. You noticed that nightgown and you'll be fine." Christine said as she took Matty from Mike and kissed his cheek. _

_ "Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Can you give my boys hugs and kisses?" Mike asked. _

_ "I will do that. I get to keep the baby version of Matty. You get the grown- up version." Christine explained._

_ "Sounds like a plan. Sorry I doubted you." Mike said. _

_ "You knew. My mom only ever wanted to make trouble. She hated you and hated that you and I had something good and that you have something good now. She never had it, and she hated it about me. I only ever wanted to be a wife and mom. She couldn't understand it. The way she messes things up, by throwing shade on the type of wife and mom I was is typical. Don't dwell on it. Just go fix things and be a good husband, father and grandfather. That is all I ask of you. You gave me a wonderful life and everything I ever wanted." Christine said. _

_ "Likewise. I am thankful for the years you and I shared." Mike remarked. Christine smiled at him and stood up. _

_ "I was only training you for Polly. Someone had to teach you to put the cap on the toothpaste and the toilet seat down." Christine said before walking out. _

Mike woke up and smiled at the dream, as odd as it had been. Polly had turned on her side and had her hand on Mike's chest. Early on in their marriage, Mike had to realize that for Polly to sleep well, she had to be touching him in some way. Generally, it was with her head on his chest but he had been entirely too restless for that. Mike considered Christine's advice, and then remembered, she had never steered him wrong when she was alive. Mike began kissing Polly awake, another thing they had done early on in their marriage. After about the third kiss, her eyes popped open and she smiled.

"Been a while since you did this." Polly said between kisses.

"I know. Its time." Mike said simply. Polly looked at him for a second in shock.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Polly asked.

"I am. I really made my own mistakes where you were concerned and have nothing to forgive you for. You were only protecting your kids from what you felt was a threat. I want to put all this behind us. I am tired of carrying this around, Polly." Mike admitted and she nodded.

"Me too." Polly said and then gave him a sweet kiss. He pulled her on top of him and nodded.

"I'll be okay. I want this." Mike said between kisses.

"As long as you're sure." Polly said.

"I am positive. Don't stop now." Mike told her and she nodded again.

**I am wrapping this one up too. I will maybe have 2 more chapters and then will be done! Not sure if it will be the end of the storyline or not though. **


	30. Chapter 30

**Too Many Years**

Chapter 30-7 months later

Mike and Polly returned home, even more in love. They worked daily on their relationship and made a point to make time for one another. Mike hadn't planned to tell the kids about Sandra and as luck would have it, she died within a week of his return to Missouri. He and Polly made sure she had a proper burial and only after she died, did Mike tell Grace, Hannah and Matty about their grandmother. He offered to pay for them to go to Chicago for her funeral but Grace and Hannah had no good memories of their grandmother and Matty was still recovering. It barely hit their radar, just as Mike wanted.

Mike had only told Polly about his dream. While he didn't tell people about seeing Christine in a dream, he did follow her advice. He begged for forgiveness where he needed to and forgave where he needed to. At times it had been humiliating and hard.

Hannah's big news was that she was also pregnant and that the doctor had found a treatment for Henry that was really working well. She and Sam had settled easily into parenthood and being home. Mike had spent a lot of time with Hannah, working on her house and had even painted the newborn nursery.

Grace had given birth to a baby girl who she and Ryan named McKinley. For all of Grace's misgivings about her pregnancy; she and McKinley had a special bond. Grace didn't favor any of her kids, but her relationship with McKinley was different and sweet. She and Ryan were still in marriage counseling and Grace was in individual therapy. Grace was not thrilled with being in therapy but it had done her a world of good. Mike had even gone with her a few times to talk out some of their issues. It helped a lot.

The one part of Christine's advice that did backfire was telling Matty that Mike was disappointed in him for getting Tara pregnant. Matty had been angry for weeks and neither Mike or Polly could fix it. It took Matty stumbling over something in the floor and needing Mike to help him up, to forgive him. Mike had told him that while he was disappointed, he would have accepted and loved Matty's baby and mourned the loss all the same. Matty was not convinced, but eventually cooled off. He had struggled all through both Grace and Hannah's pregnancies; but once McKinley arrived, Matty adored his little dark-haired, dark-eyed niece. McKinley already had Matty completely wrapped and she was just a month old.

Hannah had to be induced to have her baby and while there were some frayed nerves due to the way that Christine had died; the entire family had gathered and was waiting, not patiently. Polly was in with Hannah and Sam and Grace had been in and out of the delivery room. Once hard labor started happening, except for Polly and Sam, the family was relegated to the waiting room. Mike had six grandchildren already, so he enjoyed watching Tom and Sasha's level of excitement over their first grandchild. Finally, an hour after the hard labor had started; Polly walked out with a swaddled bundle in her arms. Hannah and Sam had opted to not find out what they were having but Mike glimpsed a blue cap on the baby.

"Momma is fine. She is sore and tired but wanted me to bring out little Jed Thomas." Polly said as she turned and showed off the baby to everyone. There were ooh's and aah's. Henry was sitting on Mike's lap and was inspecting his little brother closely and Polly held him to where Henry could see him.

"He isn't very cute. All squishy." Henry said and everyone started laughing.

"He'll get cuter." Sasha promised.

"I don't think so." Henry said. He was very serious and mature for his age.

"Hey, you think McKinley is cute; right?" Matty asked; obviously preparing to turn Henry's words around on him. Matty had the baby girl in his arms and leaned over when Henry could see her. Fortunately, he was sitting next to Mike because he didn't trust his own motor skills while handling the baby.

"Yeah, her is. But he's a boy." Henry said.

"You know, I thought Tommy was kind of ugly too when he was this little; but then he got older and I got to play with him. Then he wasn't so bad." Matty said.

"Gee, thanks." Tommy said. Mike gave him a warning look because he knew the point Matty was attempting to make. Unfortunately, Matty sometimes had difficulty articulating what he meant, and generally Mike helped him.

"Henry, what your uncle is trying to tell you is that while Jed is little and not much fun now, he'll be a lot more fun later. He's just got to grow some. How about I hold him and you can take a better look at him?" Mike suggested. Polly passed him the baby and Mike purposely touched the baby's hand with Henry's hand. Jed, like on cue, wrapped his tiny hand around Henry's index finger.

"His hand is tiny." Henry said. He had withdrawn his hand and Mike had let the baby wrap his hand around Mike's finger instead.

"It is, but it'll grow." Mike assured him.

"Can we go see Hannah now?" Grace asked.

"Yeah. She's ready." Polly said. Mike handed the baby over to Tom, sat Henry down on his own feet and helped Matty stand up. Ryan had taken McKinley from Matty. They all walked to the hospital room, but Mike stayed at Matty's slower pace, knowing that Jed's birth might be bothering Matty. Had Tara survived, she would have been having their baby at about the same time as Hannah had hers.

"You okay, son? I know that Tara would have been having your baby about now." Mike asked as the rest of their family hurried to the hospital room.

"I'm…trying to be okay. We didn't know Tara's due date since she hadn't been to the doctor. I did the math though and her due date would have been today. I just didn't say anything when Hannah told us they were inducing her today. I didn't want to take away from her moment." Matty said. All Mike could do was reach over and rub Matty's shoulder.

"If you want to take a moment before we go in there, we can." Mike offered, even though he desperately wanted to see for himself that Hannah was okay. She would understand Matty's predicament and Mike's need to be there for him.

"No. This is something I am just going to have to face and besides, I know you are worried about Hannah. It wouldn't be fair for me to keep you from her." Matty said.

"Matty, its okay. Hannah would be the first person to understand. Yes, I want to see her but I also want to be with you if you are having a hard time with this." Mike said as he steered Matty into a private waiting room that wasn't occupied. Matty stood still for a moment, and then started crying. Mike immediately pulled him close and held him. Matty's brain injury made him more emotional and normally, it was Mike that dealt with the emotions.

It took about five minutes for Matty to reign in his emotions and Mike followed him to a bathroom to wash his face. Matty didn't want Hannah to know he was upset. Mike had texted Polly to tell her why he was missing and they would be there soon.

Matty put a game face on and they walked back to Hannah's hospital room, where the rest of the family was making over the baby, congratulating Sam and checking on Hannah who was getting sleepy. Mike hugged and kissed her and then began gathering his loud and boisterous family. The baby had been passed around and Hannah wanted to nurse him before the nurse took him back to the nursery.

Mike got his family out of the hospital room so Sam and Hannah could have their time with the baby. Henry was going home with Tom and Sasha. As Mike drove home; he looked at the various family members in his SUV. His marriage to Polly was stronger than ever, Matty was making steady steps forward in his occupational therapy, he had worked things out with Gabby, and spent even more time with the twins and Charlotte. Grace and her family were driving ahead of Mike and Max had been accepted into the Academy. He would be an officer like Mike had been, putting Polly's mind slightly at ease.

Mike's heart tests had all come back good and he had put everything that Sharon had said out of his mind. His dream about Christine had given him all the answers he needed, and besides; he adored Hannah and Matty. Nothing else mattered. He had also learned to stop focusing so much on Lucas's death and appreciate the kids he still had. He had learned a lot of lessons in the past year. They were all healing.

**Done with this one. Thank you for the reviews. I may pick it back up at some point. Not sure. **


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